Thought For The Day: Simon Amstell

"I used to think that I really had to hang on to my pain otherwise I won't be able to be funny. But actually if I hang on to the same pain that I was feeling a year ago, I'll end up writing the same jokes. I'll become a parody of myself.
"It feels like a constant fight between this very peaceful place where everything's fine, and then you die. And this ego person who needs to do certain things, and be in a certain place. That guy is SO annoying. I understand now that that's not really me – it's just this irritant who is getting in the way of my brilliant life.
"There will always be suffering. Life is suffering, so there will always be new suffering! Thank goodness. Phew."

A cheering thought for the new year there from the future Mrs Fagburn, Simon Amstell.
It's more likely to happen than me and Tom Daley, to be honest, and we'd have more to talk about.
I think my mum would like him, too - a nice Jewish boy etc - though she'd prefer me to marry Alan Bennett, if truth be told.

• Simon's stand-up thing, Numb: Live At The BBC, is on BBC4 tonight; Simon Amstell: Work in Progress is at The Invisible Dot, London N1 from 14th January.

"You wake up. And it just gets darker..."