Friday 31 January 2014

Giving Up: The Audiobook

Struggling to achieve your dreams? Have you tried giving up?

pleated-jeans. 

Have a disappointing, wasted, wet weekend.
x

PS Pleated-jeans sublimely ridiculous song satirising liberal 'I'm So Down With The Gays' twattery (I think) Straight Dudes Skipping is my new jam!

Danny Dyer: 'Ow's Yer Father (Dealing With His Son's Coming Out)?

Danny Dyer has revealed how proud he is to be a part of EastEnders' gay storyline, saying it has changed people's perception of him.

The hardman actor, who joined the BBC soap at Christmas, has been involved in a plot that saw his on-screen son come out.

“It was a real positive thing,” said Danny on this weekend's Jonathan Ross Show.

Speaking about the fan mail he has received since the scenes aired, the actor admits it has touched him.

“A lot of young gay men, who hadn’t come out yet, they saw that scene and I was getting letters from these guys saying they came out the next day because of it.

"That’s a powerful thing and I was really proud to be associated with that.”

Dyer thinks that storyline has gone a long way in changing how people see him, thanks to his character Mick Carter's reaction.

He explained: “ They spun it on the head for me, because obviously my perception and what people think I’m about – that I was going to react badly - and instead I just cuddled him and said, ‘Listen, it’s fine, I love you, no problem.’”

Daily Mirror.

Fagburn loved the coming out scene.

And I have a lot of time for professional cheeky chappie Cockney geezer, Danny Dyer.

He's worked with Harold Pinter, you know?

HAVE YOU!!???

Thought For The Day: Noam Chomsky

The meaning of life is what you make of it. Life does not have any meaning apart from that, for a human, a dog, a bacterium, or anything else. It is up to you what the meaning of your life is. So, it is partially under your control.

If someone were to say “Life is just a bowl of cherries?”

If that is the way you want to look at life, fine. If you decide your life is maximization of goods, then that is the meaning of life. We can have sympathy for you, but that is what it is. If you decide that your life is friendship, love, mutual aid, mutual support, a community of people who try to increase their own and other people’s happiness and welfare, then that is the meaning of life. But there is no external force that decides.


From a Q&A of questions 'mostly posed by younger folks' aged 12-20. Via ZNet.

And here's a free PDF download of Uncle Noam's What Is The Common Good?

The puzzling Chomsky quote in the image is from the new film Is The Man Who Is Tall Happy? 

Putin: Skating On Thin Ice

The Economist on why someone waving a silly rainbow flag or not drinking Coke for a fortnight is the least of Putin's problems.

Great cover.

And here's America's most right-wing gay commentator James "Rainbow Suspenders" Kirchick writing for Britain's biggest right-wing magazine, The Spectator, about you-know-what. Zzz...

Update: Fans of reasoned, informed political debate, not hysterical right-wing posturing, may enjoy Gevorg MirzayanSochi 2014 Boycott Would Have Been Counterproductive - who points out how no political leader is 'snubbing' the games, and besides there's a whole raft of serious differences and tensions between Russia and the West right now.
There's little things like Syria and Ukraine and that.

It's not all about The Gays, you know, The Gays!

Richard Littlejohn: The New Swift

Afternoon, sir. Welcome to the Coalition Arms. Shake my hand. The name’s Cameron, but you can call me Dave. All my regulars do. Beautiful British name, Dave. Just like the other half, Sam. Dave and Sam. Beautiful British names.

That’s Sam, as in Samantha, not as in Sam. Wouldn’t want you getting the wrong impression. Not that I’ve anything against it, mind you. Far from it.

In my humble opinion, same-sex marriage is the best thing since John Smith’s smooth bitter. We’ve just opened a gay bar in the old tap room.

If you’re that way inclined, you’ll find it down the corridor, past the chillax zone and next to the nappy-changing facilities in the gents’ toilets. And we’ve just started a transgender night, every other Tuesday...


News that David Cameron may be related to Al Murray, the Pub Landlord, inspires Littlejohn to one of his famously painfully unfunny "satirical" pieces.
Oh my aching sides!
No, hang on, maybe that's appendicitis. 

Thursday 30 January 2014

Crystal: More Balls


2014 marks an important anniversary.
It was twenty years ago that the first article in the UK gay press warning about Crystal Meth was published in the short-lived magaine, Phase.
Every year ever since we have been warned by the gay and straight press that the UK gay scene is about to get taken over by Crystal AND WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!
You may have noticed this has not happened.
To mark the 20th anniversary we are being taken over by a new flood of warnings about meth.
Maybe it's been helped cause boring people may have now heard about it from Breaking Bad and the "shamed Crystal Methodist" Paul Flowers
The other week the Independent On Sunday was warning about a "meteroric rise" in "slamming" (injecting at sex parties).
Based on some data that showed this wasn't really happening.

Today Channel 4 News joined in the hysteria with an item; Is Crystal Meth Behind London's Rising HIV Levels?
Viewers learn that some gay men in London take drugs, some take crystal ("a very small proportion"), some like having sex on drugs - and some people even use something called "Grindr" and tell other gay men they take drugs!
It was all shocking stuff.
An expert says there is a "public health nightmare".
Antidote said that at London's two clinics for gay male drug users, 187 men had meth as their main problem in 2010.
[Channel 4 News admitted a recorded rise in meth users at the clinics "must be treated with caution - it may reflect greater awareness of the clinics."]
Crystal can certainly do terrible things to some users - so I wouldn't be surprised if a high proportion of gay men are having problems, even if they are a very small proportion of users - and Antidote are doing a great job helping them, but out of a London gay male population of maybe 200,000-500,000 is this really inidicative of such a big problem?
Or is this just more media gay + sex + drugs = death hysteria?

PS The Daily Mail join in the fun!

Update: An excellent piece by Professor David Nutt on the UK press this week reporting a woman's "Death by cannabis". Last week Anorak did a nice montage of tabloid stories about the EVIL ACID HOUSE MENACE!

#FindMike: Now That I've Found You

“There’s such a stigma surrounding schizophrenia. People think it’s split personalities but it’s not like that” he tells me. And Jonny’s not afraid to stop there. When I broach the subject of his homosexuality he’s refreshingly candid. We talk about how he’s dealt with both his sexuality and his condition and whether being so open has led to more discrimination.

“Part of the reason I was hospitalised was because I was so conflicted about my sexuality. I come from a Jewish background where being gay is frowned upon. I was really terrified and I think that contributed to me being so unwell."

Jonny Benjamin talking to Planet Ivy last year.

Jonny Benjamin features in the feel-good story of the day - though I haven't read one account that mentioned the above detail.
On Tuesday he was reunited with Neil Laybourn, right, who saved his life by talking him down when he was about to commit suicide on Waterloo Bridge in 2008.
They'd never seen each other since.
Jonny had started a Twitter hashtag a year ago - #findmike - which as they say "went viral".
He told BBC Radio 5 live's Breakfast today: "This stranger just coming up to me and saying 'you can do it mate, you can overcome anything' - that was the turning point for me."
Neil said; "I just kept asking him questions... and let him know that if he wanted to talk about it, I was there."
Jonny is now a mental health worker, and a videoblogger - and a rather handsome fellow.
He is now working on a documentary about his search for "Mike".

• Need to talk? Samaritans 08457 90 90 90. Or Rethink Mental Illness.

Russia: We Care A Lot!

The gays of Sochi are dreading the Winter Olympics.
The UK government is to give extra funding for gay rights campaigners in Russia amid growing concerns over the introduction of legislation outlawing the promotion of homosexuality.

In an interview for the BBC, Culture Secretary Maria Miller said it was the "right thing to do".

Additional money will be given to protest groups such as Stonewall.

The move comes just a week before the start of the Winter Olympics in the Russian City of Sochi.

The sporting showpiece has already been dogged by concerns over freedom of speech and security.

"It's very important indeed we use the opportunity of the Winter Games to underline the importance of treating people fairly, which is at the heart of the Olympic charter and important to the Olympic movement," said Mrs Miller.

"As a result of the changes in the laws in Russia, there are considerable strains on gay rights.

"We are already putting in place additional support to make sure that gay rights organisations have got the sort of support and expertise that I think can make a real difference with the work they are doing on the ground in Russia."



How good of Maria Miller to go public on this wonderful gesture.*

Even though by doing so she'll only play into the hands of Putin and anti-gay politicians and religious leaders, who have fostered the idea that gay rights and homosexuality are foreign infections being foisted on Russia by the West - and thus she could make life even more difficult for LGBT camapigners there.

Truly, who could now doubt the compassion of the caring Conservatives who are committing a vicious class war against ordinary people - straight and gay - in the UK?

And for our next trick we'll kindly take in three refugees from Syria.

So brave!

* All of this from Miller appears to have slipped out during an interview, so be prepared for clarification/reverse-ferret.

PS A group of her fellow gay and human rights-loving Tory MPs have added an amendment to the Immigration Bill which would stop anyone with HIV from entering the country. The bill goes before the Commons today.

CBB: And The Winner Is...

Well done Jim - it couldn't have happened to a nastier bigot!
Presumably you'll be the special guest at G-A-Y on Saturday?

PS And congrats to the the Daily Star for getting their celebratory front page out so quickly last night.
They also say Jim may be getting his own programme on Channel 5.
Hopefully a chatshow, but one that isn't presented by a 'shirtlifter'.

Nathan Filer: The Shock Of The Voice

Nathan Filer was interviewed by Mark Lawson on Front Row last night.
He sounds like a cross between Marc Almond and Neil Tennant.
Just sayin'...

U-Benders: The Press Release As News - A Case Study

The Sun.

I told you it was a slow news day.

And seeing as The Sun quote a tweet from Julian from 2012, it's clearly quite an old news day, too.
Please note, the Daily Mail also thought this was newsworthy.
Reprinting pretty the same press release - but with added faux outrage on someone else's part.
A wonderful Mail Online comments section, with readers fulminating about "The PC Brigade getting offended again!"
Even though no-one appears to have actually been offended.
Text book stuff!

Daily Mirror: Flatulence

Mirror.

Something tells me it could be a glacially slow news day...

Wednesday 29 January 2014

Coca-Cola: Most Boring Story Of The Week

A Coca Cola website allowing users to name coke cans has been replaced by the company following social media controversy and a #BBCtrending investigation.

The site allowed people to write their names on coke cans but wouldn't allow the word "gay" to be used.

It caused a storm on social media, but why was the site (based in South Africa) attracting the attention of the global gay rights movement? And was the criticism fair? Coca Cola sponsor the Sochi Winter Olympics in Russia, and many Olympic sponsors are being criticised by gay rights activists who oppose a Russian law that imposes fines for providing "propaganda" about homosexuality to minors. Coca Cola have now taken down the site and apologised for any offence caused, saying they are "a strong supporter of the LGBT community."



God, they are some boring gayers out there.

What kind of a freak would try to write 'gay' on a can of fizzy pop anyway?

Take that Putin!

PS Or make an even more pointless act of faux protest by kidding yourself Ukip will care if you download 'It's Raining Men'!

Thought For The Day: Armistead Maupin

"I think many gay people, if they do it right, end up as superior human beings because they've gone through this experience of having to keep their mouths shut. They've learned to view all of humanity in such a way as to be more compassionate than the average straight person who was raised knowing that they are acceptable in the eyes of the church, the government and their families. Those of us who've had to make our own way have become stronger and kinder. If you're lucky."

Armistead Maupin interviewed in The Independent (by a gushing simpleton).

Update: Damian Barr hits the streets of San Francisco for the Tales Of The City tour in Saturday's Guardian. I have to concede this is a lovely piece, Toryboy!

Gigi Chao: After You!

Daily Mail.

Fagburn doesn't quite understand the stright media's obsession with this story - apart from the fact it's nuts.

Tuesday 28 January 2014

Justin Bieber: A Few Words

Justin
Busted
Lusted
Flustered
Clustered
Dusted
Hustlered
Mustard
Custard
Justice?
Must us?

LEAVE JUSTIN ALONE!

Brokeback Mountain: The Opera!

Yes, this shit is even shitter than you could have ever imagined in your darkest nightmares where you woke up screaming 'What is this gay shit?' in absolute terror.

Another Ukip Fruitcake: Open Letter To Libby Purves

"What Miss Purves and many others cannot grasp is the fact that when our government made homosexuality legal, it did not make it moral. Governments can decide on laws, but only God decides on morality. How can anybody, let alone Miss Purvis [sic], tell people what they should think about homosexuality?"

Wonderfully nuts letter from another UKIP nutter to the Telegraph about an article about The Gays in The Times.
[You can now read it more legibly on his hilariously unhinged blog].
Think this may have cost Demetri Marchessini £20,000.
Should have just sent her a postcard.
Roy Greenslade on...

Thanks to MS for the scan. x

Guardian letters, February 1st.

Pete Seeger: 1919-2014

Singer, songwriter, banjo-picker, communist.

The Independent Exclusive: Non-entity Not Actually Asked To Appear At Sochi!

The Independent.

Brilliantly the article says she was only responding to a hypothetical question from a journalist.
She wasn't actually invited to perform.
The Olympic Committee said they'd never asked Cher to perform.
As in London 2012 et al I guess the Sochi Opening Ceremony will be a showcase for the country's own talent.
Well done the TotallydepentontheLebedevsbillions.

PS I literally can't be arsed with these clueless internshits at The Independent.

The Guardian: In Praise Of...

The Guardian.

Before working at Stonewall Ben used to write for sister title The Observer, incidentally...

Update: I am reliably informed everyone at The Guardian hates everyone at The Observer, so my point may not stand.
And you thought the gay press was bitchy...

Alvin Baltrop: Friend, 1977

Alvin Baltrop's first UK exhibition, The Piers From Here, is at Open Eye Gallery.

Macklemore: Same Old Same Old

God, I now hate this avalanche of sentimental puke.

Though on the plus side it annoyed the usual American right-wing homophobic cunts. Though to be fair they'd probably be outraged if you said you had some spaghetti hoops for dinner.

"The queers complaining about Macklemore & Ryan Lewis now remind me of the queers who used to bitch and bitch and bitch about how big beer companies didn't advertise in queer publications or sponsor pride parades. ("Queer people drink a lot of beer! They want us to support them and buy their beer but they don't want to support us and our community!") But when big beer companies began advertising in queer publications and sponsoring pride parades... the exact same queers who had been complaining about how big beer companies weren't advertising in queer publications or sponsoring pride parades immediately started bitching about how the beer companies were trying to profit off our sexuality. ("The pride parade is not for sale! We are a community, not a commodity!") Blah blah bitchy blah."

"Jaymi": Here Is The News!

It's interesting that Mail Online - a very different beast to the newspaper - now run this just like they would about one with two (C-list) norms in love.
And their readers only seem to care about their tattoos and them wearing their baseball caps backwards.
But really, who gives a fuck?
(Apart from me, obvs).

PS Young queens! Stop spelling your names funny and all poofy! It's a dead giveaway!!!

Sunday 26 January 2014

Fagburn: Fuck All This

“If you beat your head against the wall, it is your head that breaks and not the wall.”

"We don't laugh anymore, we only grin."

PS On "common sense" as nonsense.

Edward Said: And No-one Listened


"I just felt I couldn't write for the American media anymore... they just turned into mouthpieces of the status quo."

The second greatest man I ever met.

We were at the Dome next to Brighton Pavilion and I wanted to ask him about that great monument to Orientalism.
And how 'Edward Said' sounds like the title for a Velvet Underground song.
But I didn't have the time.
He signed his book.
Then he died.
x

John Barrowman: No Camp!

Sadly this is a story about Scottish independence.

Russell Tovey: Terrifying Thought For The Day

“In Looking there’s no massive campery, there’s no one dying of Aids, it’s all very normal which is automatically fascinating because in art the gay guy is always the funny loner… or a murderer. At this period in history in Western civilisation we gays are allowed to get married, allowed to have kids… we’ve never had to grow up before, but now you can.”

GT: Let's Get Nekkid Again!

Oh wow, you've done another NAKED issue!
Well, it's been literally weeks since the last one...

PS No real person has used the word 'hunk' since 1957.

Update: The next Attitude is also a Naked Issue featuring hunky TOWIE star Dan Osborne!
Decisions, decisions...

This is his moment...

Russia: Take That Putin!

The over-educated idiots have won!

This is what now passes for political debate...

Well done, students!

Queer Nation NY: USA! USA! USA!

The gay right wants big business to play nice.
Uh-huh.
Because capital is all and your only power is as a consumer.
Richard Fairbrass and Peter Tatchell were flown out to that "protest" by noted right-wing anti-semite Nikolay Alexeyev - all expenses paid by his super rich boyfriend.
He knew what would happen, and they were just useful idiots.
That okay with you?

Funny how Queer Nation NY don't give a fuck about anything bad happening in their own queer nation or New York.

And James Kirchick.
Michael Lucas.
Gaypatriot.
Americablog.

Right-wing gay cunts.

Maybe there's another rather sinister political agenda going on here...

Tom Daley: Just Because

Dustin, he's just not that into you.
*sadface*

Thanks to Poofnose From Essex. x

More Gifs from the Tom and Dan Splash! show!

Boy George: Thought For The Day

"The Who did a massive concert at Charlton football ground with 73,000 people in 1974, and Lou Reed was on the bill. I was 12 and was told emphatically [by my parents]: "You must not go." I went, obviously, and arrived as Lou Reed was about to come on stage. I was just amazed. After hearing Transformer, I went back to listen to the Velvet Underground and became a fan of everything Lou Reed had done. 
But Transformer was a great record. If you think about the music of the time, it was completely out of sync with everything else. It was vaudevillian, with songs like New York Telephone Conversation and Make Up – very much later on I discovered Tom Waits and all of that sound – but it was a sort of weird, druggy, theatrical, marching-bands-on-valium sound. I've also chosen it because of the lyrics – particularly Walk on the Wild Side, it has such a great narrative. 
When you're a kid and you know you're gay, and you hear Bowie singing "a cop knelt and kissed the feet of a priest, and a queer threw up at the sight of that", and then you hear Walk on the Wild Side, you know there's hope – you know you're not the only one that has these weird thoughts."

The Observer - Soundtrack of my life

Wonderful!

The Independent: Beyond A Joke...

The Independent On Sunday.

So you got a press release from some corporate "feel good" crooks and asked well-known fresh handmade cosmetics expert Peter Tatchell what he thought...

How very interesting!

Can you not tell the difference between protest and PR?

My brain is hanging upside down.

Dylan & Jack: The New Julian & Sandy

London-based twenty-something journalists Dylan B Jones and Jack Cullen launch the pilot of their podcast 'Dylan & Jack', discussing the ins and outs of London's gay scene, the media circuit, Soho's underworld and other LGBT and urbane issues.

Follow the pair on Twitter: @DylanBJones / @JackCullenUK

In this episode: "Who To Have On The Show?", "Who Are We?", "Hollister", "Heaven on a Monday", "The Daily Mail and Kate Moss", "Ru Paul's Drag Race".

Plus each episode's regular haunts: Dispositions, competitions, questionable advice, interrogative chit chat and state of the art bitching.



Hilarious.

Queens rool!

Saturday 25 January 2014

Peter Tatchell: Attention Journalists!

Remember, if you are writing an article about The Gays you must include a quote from Saint Peter.
Remember Peter is an expert on...

Iran - no lies there.
Hip-Hop.
Sport.
Toilets.
Islam.
Gay life in Africa.
Russia.
Classical music conductors who aren't homophobic.
Anything in the entire world.
Even something he actually knows bum all about.
Peter Tatchell.
Peter Tatchell.
Peter Tatchell.

• Because being Peter Tatchell means never having to say to a journalist; "You know there are other gay people far better qualified to comment on this..."

Pink News: The Gay Cake-Toppers Rise Again

You do know photos of actual gay couples exist?

PS Edit your stories. We don't need the re-cap of everything that ever happened at the end.

John Cooper Clarke: Happy Birthday!

Each drop of blood a rose shall be
all sorrow shall be dust
blown by breezes to the sea
whose fingers thrust
into the corners of restless night
where creatures of the deep
avoid the flashing harbour lights
in search of endless sleep
there were executions
somebody had to pay
apart from the revolution
it's another working day

a million angels sing
peasants eating cake
wedding bells are ringing
the room begins to shake
the children free from measles all
have healthy teeth and gums
they live in the cathedrals
and worship in the slums
poverty and pollution
have all swept away
apart from the revolution
it's another working day.


John Cooper Clarke is 65 today!
A cooler man has never lived.

Here he is... Ten Years In An Open-Necked Shirt!

David Hockney: Your Actual Gay Art

Despite his admiration for Cavafy, Hockney found his poems "slightly old-fashioned. They never describe sex." In his etching to the poem above he removes the shame and depicts the young man lying back contentedly, arms folded behind his head, with his penis (the key body part unmentioned in the poem) frankly exposed. Attitudes had changed in the 40 years since the poem was first published. Even so, had Hockney's etching appeared any earlier, he would have been liable to prosecution: it was only in 1967 that homosexuality in Britain was finally decriminalised.

Blake Morrison on David Hockney about people who write books and that in the Guardian today.
Oh yes!

Brilliantly, The Guardian don't show you the actual etching, In An Old Book, referred to.

Friday 24 January 2014

Grayson Perry: CBE!


Obviously Fagburn doesn't believe in such pointless baubles, but fuck yeah!


Stonewall: Cheers Ben!

Goodbye and thank you.
A far more radical figure than you may imagine, Ben is one of the good guys.
The House Of Lords awaits?

PS  Will the divine feud between Stonewall and Pink News now end?
Asking for a friend.

As to his potential successor... Anyone but Simon Fanshawe.

Twitter: Jailed!

This country is fucked to buggery.

We must make an example of you, We must make an example of you, we must make an example of you, we must make an example of you, we must make an example of you, we must make an example of you, we must make an example of you...

Gay Star News: Aren't Black People Funny? (Part Of A Series)

Gay Star News.

GSN. You. Are. Beyond. Shit. Please. Close. Down. FORTHWITH!

Christian Jessen: Embarrassing

The ever hopeless Independent.

Klaus Nomi: 70

x

The Guardian: Oh Do Shut Up!

What does "post-gay" even fucking mean?
No more ridiculous articles written by posh straight people telling The Gays how it is, pls.

PS Hilarious piece in The Guardian Guide by Issy Sampson, however. I rocked with mirth.

Thursday 23 January 2014

BBC News: Crap

It started off as a simple trip to the bathroom - but BBC correspondent Steve Rosenberg's photo of two toilets side-by-side at Sochi's Winter Olympics site, has become famous on Twitter in Russia and beyond.

When I went to spend a penny last week in the Caucasus mountains, little did I know that I would learn so much about Russia from one trip to the toilet.

The cubicle in question was inside the Laura Cross Country Skiing and Biathlon Centre - brand new, and built, of course, for next month's Sochi winter games. I tracked down the Gents' and went in. It was pretty much as you'd expect things to be, really, in a little WC. There was a sink, some paper towels, but oddly enough there were two toilets where you'd expect just one - full sized lavatories, they were, side by side - and no partition down the middle...


The inane have conquered the world.

Tom Daley: What's Not Wrong With This Picture?

Evgeny Lebedev: Apologies

I wish to apologise for my previous post which may have suggested Evgeny Lebedev is a big ole gay.
Nothing could be further from my mind.

Daily Mail: Cause The Daily Mail Really Cares About Queers

Even if Johann Harris wrote it for you.
Though saying "he said 'some of my best friends are..." is now a bigger Patrick Smugtwit/Owen Jones cliché than saying "some of my best friends are..."

Brighton: Pink Sunshine

Brighton should appear on the shipping forecast every morning thanks to its sunny weather, the Prime Minister has said, as he mocked a Ukip councillor who blamed storms on gay marriage.

David Cameron taunted David Silvester, a Ukip councillor who said Britain had been “beset by storms” since the passing of new laws on gay marriage, saying Brighton, which has a large gay community, has a “superb microclimate”.

Simon Kirby, Conservative MP for Brighton Kemptown, said: "I am incredibly proud to represent a large gay community in my constituency. Would you agree with me that despite the views of some that the weather in Brighton is nearly always very sunny?"

Mr Cameron replied: "You are quite right - Brighton does have this superb microclimate that people should be encouraged to take advantage of.

"You stand up for all your constituents with great vim and vigour and I think in reward it would only be fair if Brighton Kemptown was actually put in place on the shipping forecast somewhere between Dover and Wight. I think we should get a reflection of this every morning."



Simon Kirby is Fagburn's MP.

Kirby is a former anarchist and now a Tory, I wish him dead - and he never replies to my emails.