Gay Marriage: Dammit Janet

Back in the heady days of April, it seemed like every week every Sunday broadsheet star columnist felt duty-bound to vomit up their quarter-baked opinion on gay marriage.
Today, perhaps tellingly, I can find but one, and as that's by Janet Street-Porter - the Independent On Sunday's "Editor-At-Large" no less - I'm not sure it really counts.
Her columns appearing in the IoS are the boardroom version of a paper publishing some fluff by an intern on their last day.  
Bless.
Today, La Porter is on top "Will this do?" form.
She begins by making what has to be the most hand-eatingly over-used "observation" on marriage equality - the only people still enthusiastic about marriage these days are The Gays!
She mentions our mad old friend the Archbishop of York's comments last week - I guess this is the article's "hook".
Apparently, he is "entitled to his opinions".
She makes the obligatory reference to her gay friends - though in Janet's case the cliche rings less hollow.
She only has gay friends.
She makes a completely baffling "comparison" to some mass Islamic (straight) wedding ceremony in Nigeria; "Without being judgemental about Islamic law – sharia – who is to say that mass weddings are any less valid than a Church of England service with a vicar and a load of clapped-out hymns?"
She drops in something about those vouchers for parenting classes - just to keep things contemporary, like.
Approaching the home strait, she switches into full-on waffle-mode, throwing both caution and sense to the wind; "Getting married should involve the same counselling as faiths provide before they allow couples to tie the knot."
Eh?
Then - and only then - Janet boldly states her conclusion; "Marriage must be available to all."
Textbook stuff.