Gay Media: Cause No News Is No News

Even when nothing very interesting or particularly important has happened, the gay media - like all media - still has spaces to fill.
That's what a lot of journalism has come to these days - filing stories, filling spaces - churnalism.
It is the economy of the mass media to try and turn a small story into a big one - dog bites man is not news, Kate Middleton rabies scare as dog bites man a bit near pregnant pretty princess's house is - and hope we believe the hype, hysteria, spin and/or lies.
So let's have a quick look at two top stories in the world of gay today...

1. A Famous Person Has Said Something Bad About The Gays.
Cause if there's one thing the gay media like it's celebrity gossip, and if there's one thing it doesn't like it's homophobia.
BOO!!! Down with this sort of thing! etc etc.
Jeremy Irons has made some somewhat garbled and rambling statements about gay marriage.
That's right, a famous person has offered the world a silly, ill-informed and quarter-baked opinion about something - imagine!
A posh overgrown public school boy talks absolute bollocks with absolute confidence - well, that's a first!
Although Irons did tell Huffington Post at the end of the interview he was worried this could "debase" marriage - and made some bizarro not-thinking aloud comments about inheritance tax ("Could a father not marry his son?" Err, no) - he said he wasn't bothered either way.
But why not make out that he compared marriage equality to incest and bestiality?
Even though he didn't.
Though that wouldn't be much of a story, would it? 

2. A Famous Person Has A Gay Son - And He's Fine With That!

Cause if there's one thing the gay media loves more than celebrity gossip, it's sentimental shmaltz about gay kids coming out.
So brave! etc etc. 
Sporting legend Magic Johnson has a gay son, and he thinks it's a-okay that he's A Big Ole Gay!
(Who knew??? etc etc >>>)
Err, that's about it, really.
WOW!
Even though it's 2013 and parents completely accepting and embracing their gay kids is about as remarkable as rain, make out this is the greatest story EVER.
MAGIC-al, even.

Although the links above are to stories from the front page of Queerty today, they both appeared everywhere else in gaymedialand, too.
For the record, Fagburn thinks Queerty is the least worst gay web newsite thing by far.
Oh, and for another record, Fagburn likes reading celebrity gossip as much as the next gay dude. 

Update: Just to show Queerty can be spot-on, they ran a story later today with this simply-stated headline; GLAAD To Honor Bill Clinton Despite Not Apologizing For Using DOMA To Win Re-Election

When it comes to political expediency, no one can beat Bill Clinton. When it comes to apologizing for misdeeds, no one can find Bill Clinton. The man who gave us both Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and DOMA is being honored by GLAAD with its Advocate for Change Award. The change in this case apparently refers to Clinton’s recent shift on DOMA in a Washington Post op-ed, that was most noticeable for his inability to say he was sorry for what he did.
Worse still, in the Clinton tradition of selective memory, Bill neglected to mention that he not only signed the bill, but he ran ads promoting his signature in the 1996 presidential campaign. So when you read stories about how Clinton agonized about signing DOMA into law, don’t forget that — agonized or not — he capitalized on his signature at our expense. 

You may want to compare how Queerty have framed this with how, for example, the politically braindead Gay Star News reported it.
And you might want to compare that in turn with GLAAD's press release.
Gay Star Churnalism FUCK YEAH!