Breaking Sports News: Nobodé Comes Out

A man who neither you - nor indeed anyone - has ever heard of, who plays the sports has come out.
He is a gay.
Oscar Nobodé-Espéciale - the world's 35th Lead weight boxer in the 1997 Latino Duvet (Quilt 15.0 Tog) Boxing Championships - has confirmed years of non-speculation about his sexuality.
"I am proud to have retired and that some people finally are taking some interest in me," he told Fagburn.
Oscar's job has basically involved him being repeatedly punched round the head for 10 years.
Such is his almost legendary fame that there is only one photo of him in public circulation.
An unpaid intern from Gay Star News who picked up the phone said; "This is a major contribution to gay road safety. I sincerely hope he - or perhaps she - advertises with us."
Leading gay hysteric Patrick Smugtwit added; "Perhaps the world will never be the same again? Who can say? Can you print a photo of me?"