Daily Mirror: Reade Brian And Weep

'I’m in favour of gay marriages on the grounds that those who seek to spoil the happiness of people who are harming no one are bigots who deserve to be beaten.'

Great - I'm with you so far.

'And how the Catholic church dares to moralise about the ­inappropriateness of ­homosexuality after protecting priests who raped young boys is beyond credibility.'

Bit cliched, but back of the net.

'But I mainly want them to happen after learning that if a lord or knight marries, their partner will be given the title “honourable”.'

Where's this going exactly?

'Imagine the outrage if a peer decided to come out and marry a young male prostitute, forcing us to refer to his former rent boy as “the honourable”?'

Umm, no, you've lost me...

'Outrage which would be totally unjustified as virtually every businessman who enters the Lords has prostituted themselves to a political party to gain the title.'

Crap gags make the world go round!
Well done.

The Daily Mirror's columnist Brian Reade.
Stick to the footyball, love.