Quiz: Are You Being Served?

 Question: Is this from the Daily Sport or Pink News?

Answer: It's from Pink News!

The phrase 'avoids pussy' is of their own invention - no-one said it, or used the word 'pussy', so why is it in quotation marks?

This is childish, sexist and homophobic trash.

Pathetic.

Nick Grimshaw: Do Fear The Reaper

This is terrible news - the man's career is in tatters.

He'll be back on North Norfolk Digital by June, mark my words.

Property: Van Not Included

Other 'Hot homes with star connections' for sale and featured in the Independent's Homes And Property section are Michelangelo's Tuscan estate, 'Grimmy's X Factor House' and Gok Wan's old house - 'near Hampstead Heath'.

Nick Grimshaw: XXX

Oh do shut up.

PS Read into this what thou wilt...

Via @theguyliner x

X Factor: That Bad, Huh?

The Sun.

Nick Grimshaw: Ruining Things For Everyone

'I’ve ruined radio, telly, music and clothes.' *

Nick Grimshaw is profiled in The Guardian to celebrate his new clothing line for TopMan.

* This quote may have been abridged by Fagburn and taken out of context.

Pink News: Hard News

I am pleased that Pink News has finally given up any pretence of being a serious news site.

Update: Though later PN returned to being the home of sophisticated political debate...

 

Beavis: 'Putin looks gay!' Buttfuck: 'Hur hur hur.'

Nick Grimshaw: Hurry Up And Drown

The 113th article The Sunday Times has written about 'Grimmers' this year..

Nick Grimshaw: Good Question

Telegraph.

'Known by his nickname 'Grim'...'

PS He's got the X Factor gig - another reason not to watch it.

She's living the dream!

Update: During said broadcast, former Radio 1 breakfast-show host Evans anoints current Radio 1 breakfast-show host, Nick Grimshaw, as his successor in any permanent revival of the show. The following Monday, Evans is announced as the permanent host of Top Gear after all, the residual goodwill towards TFI apparently paving the way for a Grimshaw-led revival, almost as if the whole thing had been planned all along. Later that week, Grimshaw is announced as the new Louis Walsh on The X Factor, the first time an openly gay man has held the position of Louis Walsh on The X Factor, making Grimshaw’s cultural hegemony almost complete.

Naughty Dan Martin in The Guardian online.

United Kingdom: Our Sunday Papers

How very interesting.

This is the star, so proceed with caution - but Grimmy's listening figures for her breakfast show have 'slumped to a record low', so she may want to focus on that.

Nick Grimshaw: Has Harry Had Grimmy?

During a weekend largeing it in Istanbul, the fun-loving DJ filmed a Q&A with his fans via Periscope at 4.25am local time.

The clearly relaxed star filmed in bed with mate Fifi and, asked if he'd ever sleep with Harry Styles, gave a big knowing wink before collapsing into hysterics.

Team Grimmy made it clear yesterday that Nick had never slept with heartthrob Harry.

But not before shocked fans on Twitter came to their own conclusions about what they had just seen.

As Nick hosted the impromptu Q and A session he answered mundane questions including "what hair product does he use", before one cheeky fan asked if he would ever sleep with 1D's Harry.

Initially saving her friend from an awkward moment, Fifi said: "Would I ever sleep with Harry Styles? No, he's not my type."

Then she looked at Grimmy who teased fans with an over-exaggerated wink to the camera followed by a slight nod of his head and then fell into hysterics with his pal.

One fan wrote: "Nick Grimshaw just refused to deny that he'd sleep with Harry Styles on a Periscope. There's a shock." ...

Rumours have circulated of a bromance ever since Harry found fame on X Factor in 2010, forming a close friendship with Nick and mutual friend Caroline Flack.

A rep for Nick told Daily Star Online: "To be clear, Nick has not slept with Harry Styles.

"Nick absolutely denies that his response conveyed any suggestion that he had (or would) sleep with Harry Styles."

Daily Star.

Thanks for clearing that up.

PS Fagburn suspects the Star is suggesting Nick was off his nut on blood-boiling rave drugs.

The Sun: This Is Their England

This is even more hideous when you can see who's on it - allegedly picked by Sun readers, here they are in their full glory.

I count eight (8) black people.*

Token Asian: Noreen Khan.

The Sun's favoured English pooves - for those among you taking notes: Grimmers, Dame Stephen Fry, Sir David Attenborough, Sir Elton, Sebastian Coe, Tinky Winky, our Tom, Lewis Hamilton, Yog, Mozza (tellingly positioned next to Nigel Farage).

Token lez: Clare Balding.

UND! SUN columnists Tony Parsons, Jeremy Clarkson, Katie Hopkins, Jane Moore and Rod Liddle tell [sic] why they’re proud of England.
Oh FFS. Another hundred reasons to defect to Cuba.

PS There is a 'campaign' to send copies of this back via a freepost address. Apparently these will just pile up in the sorting office. I imagine putting a sign on your front door saying you refuse to take one will be similarly annoying to postal workers. So don't be a priggish dick, please.

* Oops! An eagle-eyed fan tells me there are 15/16, and has once again exposed my pathological contempt for facts.

Meanwhile, Mirror Online makes a pitch (geddit?) for the gals and teh gays...

Welcome to the Mirror's World Cup Football Free Zone! Sexy players, wags, hot gossip - minus the actual FOOTBALL http://t.co/GJba09sNif
— Mirror Celeb (@MirrorCeleb) June 12, 2014

Hope you're looking forward to a month (!) of this...

This is funny...

The Independent.

Can someone tell the joyless gaytards at Gay Star News, if they're going to try and do a BuzzFeed-style item it helps not to be completely witless.

Oh do piss off.

Daily Star: Oh Dear

Daily Star.

Queen/queen! Geddit??
Oh hahaha.
But seriously...

Quotes nicked from yesterday's Times.

Nick Grimshaw: Without Love

“I don’t want to be 40 and be like: ‘Oh God, I chose the career.'

"Maybe I just need to schedule interviews only with people I fancy to get a boyfriend!”

From a predictably fawning and unrevealing interview in The Sun's Fabulous magazine.

PS Grimmy split with Nicco Torrelli in January, and she turns 30 in August. 

Tick tick tick...

Tweet Of The Day: Nick Grimshaw

hey 1D fans!!!!! i never mentioned the word "Louis" on my show today so enough with the charming homophobic death threats yeh? 💤💤💤
— nick grimshaw (@grimmers) February 25, 2014

Poor Nick Grimshaw.

The Radio 1 breakfast show host incurred the wrath of One Direction fans when one of his team dared to joke about boybander Louis Tomlinson live on air today, forcing Grimmy to post a Twitter plea begging them to stop trolling him.

During his daily featurette Showquizness, Nick, 29, and his colleagues had to list people who were more annoying than singer Lorde. As you do.

While Nick listed Usher, Joey Essex and (his mate) Kelly Osbourne, his producer Ian Chaloner nominated Louis Tomlinson.

Cue an onslaught of hate tweets...

Mirror Online.

I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here: So Farewell Then

In a shock result lovable simpleton Joey Essex has been voted out of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.
Fagburn thought the picture above would be the best - and most topical - way of illustrating this sad news.
Remember the good times, Joey!

Has Nick Grimshaw developed a crush on Joey Essex since he’s been in the jungle on I’m A Celebrity?
Speaking on his Radio 1 Breakfast show about The Only Way Is Essex fave, the lovely Grimmy, 29, gushed: “He’s a lovely colour. He’s obviously been working out and he looks a little bit better dishevelled.
"Usually he’s so pristine, he’s unfanciable. It’s like fancying a Ken doll. But now he’s gone a bit rough round the edges, he’s looking all right. Or so a friend says.”

Yeah, Nick. A friend…

Daily Mirror, November 27th. 

Little things like this remind Fagburn why he loves these modern times.

Exclusive: Gay Man Seen With Another Man

The Sun. 

This could be true.
If it is, Fagburn wishes them both every happiness.
But please remember...

1. This is in The Sun.
2. It's according to "a source".
3. And the last person the tabloids said Grimmy was stepping out with was Pixie Geldof.

Nick Grimshaw: 'The Tabloids Have Already Given Him One...'

Another reason why Grimmy seems so young is that he has never been in love. Just before he started doing the Breakfast Show he gave an interview in which he said he was gay. “But it didn’t feel like, ‘Oh, I’m coming out!’ I hate it when people make a big thing of it. It was never a secret to any of my friends or family or anyone I worked with, I’d never pretended to have a girlfriend, but I think it was the time when I was starting to do proper grown-up press and it just felt right.”

His family knew he was gay all along. He remembers when he was six strolling into the sitting room in Oldham dressed in his mother’s bracelets and his brother Andy pronouncing: “He. Is. Gay.” Nobody fainted or screamed...

So then he was sure he was gay but he has still never had a serious relationship. He gets crushes on people but they seldom last more than a week. However, he thinks that could now change... 

"I just want to find someone who really does like me. There’s definitely been a change this year — and I’d like to have a boyfriend.”

The tabloids have already given him one — Harry Styles of One Direction — except that Styles insists he is not gay and they are just good friends...

Lynn Barber interviews Nick Grimshaw for The Sunday Times Magazine.

Early starts, mum and dad, famous chums, falling listeners, blah blah blah...
Before his big coming out interview in August 2012, some tabloids seemed more keen on outing young Mr Grimshaw as straight.

In 2011 The Daily Mail asked if Grimmy and Pixie Geldof were "more than just good friends"- even though he'd just told Heat magazine the TV stars he most fancied were Steve Jones and Bear Grylls. 

Showbiz Gossip: When Harry Met Grimmy (Again)

The One Direction heart-throb has a £3million house in posh Hampstead, London.

But he has given it a swerve since teaming up with the BBC Radio 1 breakfast show host during London Fashion Week.

The pair have been seen beside the catwalks, spending more time gazing at each other than the models.

At night, Harry has been crashing out at 29-year-old Nick’s apartment in trendy Primrose Hill – showing that they have become almost inseparable, night and day...

But in spite of constant rumours the close friends are secretly an item, Harry actually prefers to kip in the spare room with Grimmy’s mutt.
Sources revealed: “He loves cuddling up to little Lex when he stays over. Harry, Nick and the dog wind down together on the couch.”

Daily Star.

Let's face it, they're practically fucking!

Update: Or maybe not; Radio 1 DJ Nick Grimshaw has denied that Harry Styles has been staying at his house for the past week. A spokesperson for the 29-year-old told the MailOnline: 'Harry has not stayed at Nick's house once during Fashion Week.' Daily Mail.

Vicious: Sitcom Hell

It is with a heart as heavy as plutonium, that I hear according to Digital Spy Derek Jacobi says they're thinking about a second series of Vicious.
Thankfully, it's not clear if one has actually been commissioned. 
"It's a whole new world for me - I'm in sitcom hell now! We've done a Christmas special to remind people that we're still around, because Ian, of course, is a movie star.
"He goes off and does the movies, and he's not free now - God damn him - 'til this time next year, so we can't do another one until he's free."
Paul O'Grady has some advice - the vicious old queens weren't vicious enough.
“I think it needs livening up a bit.
“I know theatrical queens I’m terrified of. It’s like going into a shark pit.
“I can hold my own, but they scare me.” 
It also wasn't good enough.
The reception to Vicious was so hostile, and viewing figures promptly plummeted, you wonder if anyone will commission a "gay sitcom" again in the next few decades.
Though maybe Russell Tovey and Danny Miller should make one about a young gay couple who are too busy shagging like buggery to bother making a load of lame and tired queeny put-downs, THAT'S IF YOU ASK ME, MR ITV!

PS And it's bad news for Nick Grimshaw...