Amerikkka: Rich Gays, Lesbians Shocked By World's Most Boring Protest

A speech by US First Lady Michelle Obama at a fundraising event has been briefly interrupted by a protester demanding equal rights for gays.

Mrs Obama was speaking in Washington when a woman in the crowd started shouting, demanding White House action on gay and lesbian rights.
Mrs Obama then approached the woman and said: "Listen to me or you can take the mic, but I'm leaving."
The crowd urged Mrs Obama to stay, and the woman was then escorted out.
The protester at the Democratic National Committee fundraiser on Tuesday evening was later identified as Ellen Sturtz, a member of the GetEQUAL gay rights group.
Ms Sturtz, 56, was calling for an executive order to bar discrimination by federal contractors based on sexual orientation or gender identity.
As she was escorted out, reporters heard her say she was a "lesbian looking for federal equality before I die"...

Tuesday's event was held in the home of a lesbian couple who had previously raised money for the Obamas. Attendees had paid $500 (£326) to $10,000 for tickets.

BBC News.
The hysterical rich lesbian lady was unavailable for comment.

Cutest Couple: Because Sentimental Crap About "Adorable" Gay Teens Makes The World Go Round

High school's 'Cutest Couple' is two (very cute) boys
 
'Cutest Couple' voters at Carmel High School in New York overwhelmingly chose a gay couple as 'cutest' in the school. The young men say they're getting teased for their internet fame, but not for their relationship.
 The gay couple's selection — a first at Carmel High — has become an online sensation, driven by a yearbook photo of the smiling boys in a close embrace. A friend's blog with the photo had more than 110,000 hits Monday, and it was cited in stories on several major news sites. 

Everywhere on the internet.
Scuse me while I kiss my puke.

PS They're both fugly.

Marriage: Hooray Gay Henry

Some say this gay marriage debate has only animated a load of awful Tory poshgays - can't see it myself.
Bray!!!
Rah rah rah! etc.

The Independent: Drips

When in doubt, start another boring poll.
I hate The Independent so much - it's the worst newspaper in the country (that's not owned by Richard Desmond or Murdoch, just some other billionaire oligarch loon).
I also hate Jake Bugg and pull out dragons' teeth for fun.

Marriage: Outrage As Gay Couple Beheaded

Dear the Daily Mirror, now we're nearly equal how about showing a photo of a gay couple with faces?
We do have them, and are not all filled with such mortal shame that they can't be seen in a family newspaper.

PS I'm sure this has happened in most papers. Cake toppers, disemodied hands, headless men, cake toppers etc etc.

Bradley Manning: A Terrible Gay Icon?

A predictably wonderful piece of shit from the Telegraph.

"The Bradley Manning trial has begun, and the tale of how a weirdo tried to bring down the government – and how the government bit back – is fascinating. For liberals, it’s one political paradox after another.
"First, there’s the problem of little Bradley. On paper he ought to be a liberal’s pin-up – a gay soldier driven by his conscience to share the secrets of the military-industrial complex with the world...
"Manning was as guilty as hell and he deserves to do time...
"At the centre of the storm is a person who one suspects should never have been in uniform, let along enjoying access to military intelligence, who has blundered into the history books by way of a personality crisis. Incredibly, some people actually want to celebrate him as a gay icon. Who next, the Kray twins?"

So in summary: She's bonkers and deserves to hang!
No-one ever said he's a "gay icon" - a term only morons use.
Like you, for example.
Do you want a list of how long it took the gay press to even acknowledge he exists?
Written by one "Dr Tim Stanley" - anyone who signs themselves off as a doctor, when not giving a prescription, is clearly a cnut - and here's your proof.
The new queer class war begins and ends when we cut your posh stupid throat, herr "doctor".*

 * Legal notice: This is an entirely abstract idea used for rhetorical affect, and Fagburn does not support violence in the furtherance of his political aims, nor any attempt to chop this right-wing turd's balls off and stuff them in his gob til he dies, screaming in terrible pain.

Tory Sex Scandal: The Thick Plottens!

The Sun.

Presuming this is related to that other story.
Though maybe it's not, cause I read on the 100% reliable and true Twitter that was about NAME REDACTED.

Thought For The Day: Lord Hylton

I regret very much that the fine old English and French word “gay” has, in my lifetime, been appropriated by a small but vocal minority of the population. The result is that it can no longer be used in its original and rather delightful meaning.

Lord Hylton, 80, speaking in the Lords earlier.
File under; "You couldn't make it up."
Whatever happened to that fine old English and French word "cunt"? etc etc.

Homosexual Marriage: "Delightful People, Very Artistic..."

We’ve been told by many speakers in this debate that the bill is all about equality. People must be treated equally, and Parliament must ensure it. The first statement is reasonable, the second is not. Certainly, we are all equal before the law.
But a far higher authority than even anyone here has already decided that people are not equal. Some are stronger, cleverer, lazier, plainer, better looking, than others. Some people can see - others are blind.
If anyone brings a bill to this house to change that, I’ll be the first in the lobby to vote for it. No bill can change that.
This bill ignores a fact well understood for centuries. Marriage is not just about love. Of course homosexuals are delightful people, very artistic, and they are very loving people too. No one doubts that for one single moment, but marriage is not about just love. It is about a man and a woman, themselves created to produce children, producing children.
A man can no more bear a child, than a woman can produce sperm, and no law on earth can change that. This is not a homophobic view. It may be sad, it may be unequal, but it’s true.

Baroness Knight, speaking at the House Of Lords earlier. 
Quote shamelessly lifted from Pink News.

BBC: Sorry For Laughing

The BBC has apologised unreservedly after a contestant on a radio panel show was asked to argue the proposition that: 'Give me 20 minutes with her and I'm pretty sure I could turn around Clare Balding'...

As part of a round on the BBC Radio 5 Live show 'Fighting Talk', Colin Murray, the show's presenter, asked a contestant to argue that they could 'cure' the award-winning sports commentator of lesbianism.
The controversial broadcast came during the final segment of the show in which guests are asked to 'defend the indefensible' and argue a difficult-to-support case.
Comedian Bob Mills responded to the challenge by saying that Balding was a "horse woman", who "appreciates power between her thighs", before adding: "And we all know, there is no woman that can't be cured."
A spokesman for the BBC said today: “The comments were made during a round called ‘Defend the Indefensible’, which asks panelists to comment on topics which, by their very nature, are blatantly indefensible.” 
“However, we would like to apologise unreservedly to anyone who was offended by the live broadcast."
The Independent.

It was a joke - in a very boringly blokey comedy show, by the sound of it.
Clue's in the name, 'Defending The Indefensible'.
Really lame and childish and in poor taste, but there you go.
Hope the BBC don't find out the crap Jeremy Clarkson comes out with on Top Gear.

São Paulo Pride: As Billions Cheer!

A record-breaking one billion people have attended this year's São Paulo pride carnival in Brazil.
Fagburn is, of course, exaggerating - but that seems to be par for the parade these day.
As is the supposedly sheer number of people going becoming an annual news event.
BBC News - and others - put the number at one million.
According to the ever laughable Gay Star News it was "millions".
[Edit: According to Pink News, numbers may have peaked "at over 4 million" in 2011!]
This is thought to be the tenth year running when São Paulo pride has had its attendance figures ludicrously over-inflated - a wonderful ad for the tourism industry, and - I'll hazard a guess here - all the better to get corporate sponsorship.
But making up numbers only a fool would believe is now a gay pride tradition.
In London organisers used to say a million people attended - though this, curiously, was downgraded to 25,000 last year.
An internal document by Brighton Pride - the gay capital of the UK, no less - showed that though official figures given in 2010 were put at 150,000, only about 25,000 people may have attended.
So who still believes any of this crapola?
And who gains?
¡Ay, caramba!
And that's your actual Portuguese. 

House Of Lords: Bingo!

Rather amusing Stonewall thing.

Marriage: Not Manning

The Independent gets in a huff and a puff about some stuff that's not happening, all based on a hyperbolic quote by Lord Alli of Boring. *
But they've also put Owen Jones on Bradley Manning on the front page - the squish-squish liberal cause of our day, it seems now.

* Baron Alli also has one of those totes hilair "Err, I think you may have written this yourself" Wikipedia pages. Fagburn might do a compendium of vain gayers doing these...  

Bradley Manning Trial: Day 1

Because only posting photos of yourself online pulling a *concerned face* can set Bradley free...

Just one of a selection of unintentionally hilarious SELFIES from the mass vanity project and beyond pointless pious photo gallery, IAmBradleyManning.org

You're not Bradley Manning.
He's on trial for treason.
You're just stupid and vain.

Edwina Currie: How You - The Gays - Were Saved By Me Me ME!

In what can only be described as a last-minute ultimatum, gay news websites run by gay Tories were yesterday given an ultimatum to run endless stories about how wonderful the Tories are, and how they started everything gay since the birth of buggery, basically.

Writing exclusively for Gay Tory News, Edwina Currie, an openly gay icon who is openly a gay icon cause we say she is - writes about How I Changed The World For The Better For The Gays Once And For All.

By 'eck, loves, pull up an Eccles cake and grab a pew.
Eeee! I'm ever so brassy me, and I'm not just putting this on.
Now I'm just an ordinary plain-speaking Scouse Liverbird, but let me tell you all about how I single-handedly changed the world.
That's right, love, between salmonella and Strictly Come Dancing, I had another career - saving the gays!
You're probably too young to remember, but there was no attempt at gay law reform before yours truly came along* - that's right, old modesty Muggins 'ere.

It was different, then, in many ways... my parliamentary colleagues seemed determined to prove their manliness by sporting a host of illicit lady friends and hidden offspring; this was the first winter of “Back to Basics”, when the Tory government began its messy slide into the sleaze which would sink it..."

Luckily, unlike me and John Major, no-one knew this about us, til I wrote about how we were secretly fucking in the first volume of my racy best-selling memoirs (still available in paperback).
Then one day it all came to me, like a splash across the face.
Dammit! I will change the world forever for the gays! 
"But we've been tirelessly working and campaigning towards this for decades?!" some silly old loony lefty said to me.
And getting nowhere fast!
If you want something doing - and want to take all the credit like Tories always do - I say, pop your head over the parapet at the last moment and do it your Eddie Currie self!

"Nobody could point the finger at me, hinting that I wanted the change because I hankered after pubescent boys."

I hope none of you lovely gay boys - who I made legal over 18 by the billy-oh way - think that last line's offensive, what with me inferring you're all a bit Jimmy Savile and that - but I speak as I find.
Like someone from a bad sketch who's trying to sound Northern, pet. 

Anyway, once I'd got behind this gay buggery business, it was made law.
Quick as "I thank you" and all was right as the bloody northern rain. 
Sure, some old fuddy-duddy fogeys in the Conservative Party said it couldn't be done - but that's what they said just before I freed Nelson Mandela.
So next... how to honour me?
I know, little old modest me!

Stonewall called a rally in Trafalgar Square. That was a new one on me, rubbing shoulders with Vanessa Redgrave and Dawn French. The sun shone, the rainbow-coloured balloons soared up over London. “What do I do?” I hissed to Labour MP Tony Banks. “You get up there and make a short speech,” he answered, surprised. “Never done this before -” I explained, as he helped me onto the plinth of Nelson’s column. “ 

By 'eck, I thought.
What happened to you, Edwina Currie?
A humble Lancashire lass - who liked nothing better than shouting at people about how great I am - now they've only gone and dedicated the last plinth on Trafalgar bloomin' Square after me!

• Quotes in bold from yesterday's article in Pink News, How I changed the age of consent a world away from equal marriage, by Edwina Currie. An "exclusive" piece ripped off one of her memoirs.

* Edwina writes; "Nigel Lord-Fauntleroy from LGBTory tells me someone on Twitter tried to pull me up on this "fact" late last Saturday night.
"Okay, maybe "technically" some other politicians who weren't mad self-aggrandising Tories did a bit of stuff first. 
"But "Fagburn", Nigel thought no-one would pull him up on boring parliamentary detail so he could just tweet any old nonsense and get "liked".
"And in your angry drunken hastily-sent twittering, you got Lord Arran's shoe-size wrong, so more fool you!
"Apologise!"

Editor's note: Right after you apologise for all the ways the Tories have endlessly fucked gay people and everyone else in this country over in the last century or so. 
So: In conclusion, in fine detail, and in the grand sweep of history you've always found yourself on the wrong side of - Fuck off.

Update: This tweet just in...

The Sunday Times: Notes On Crap

In the Sunday Times, one Colin McDowell asks, "What is camp?"
And then proceeds to show he doesn't have a flying fucking fondue-set what it is.

"Camp is a vicious and theatrical world of gossip and character assassination, often styled around gender confusion. Popular entertainment adores camp —think Les Dawson trussed up as a northern housewife, or the performers Graham Norton or Julian Clary...
"Put a bunch of gay men together and the feminine side comes to the fore — everyone is sweetie, darling, honey, and female names are soon bestowed on each other. However, camp is not confined entirely to gay men — I once met a huge truck driver in drag at a party who informed us all that his name was Janine, for the evening at least, while passing round pictures of his wife and two daughters...."   

No it's not, you posh idiotbox.
Do you really think Les Dawson doing Cissie and Ada over the garden wall, or gay men saying "sweetie" - like we all do, obvs, like a decade's old copy of Absolutely Fabulous that's got stuck in the DVD player - defines camp?
Or, indeed, has anything to do with it?
"I've seen them at some of Ollie's dinner parties, and I can tell you, the feminine side comes to the fore, they even call each other by ladies' names..."
Oh FFS! etc.
But perhaps the kind of hilariously unself-aware gormality that this article exudes is a kind of camp in itself?

• Susan Sontag - Notes On Camp. Ever countered, never bettered. "To talk about camp is therefore to betray it..."

Keith Ramsay: A Star Is Born!

 He's in a play about something - go see!

Fagburn: Urgent News Update!!!

In the absence of any actual photographic evidence of this now legendary badger/BNP/Benny Hill chase scenario thing actually happening - which, more importantly, was a heart-warming story about lovable merry old England coming together in the face of adversity, a bit like the Blitz really, but with pictures of some young girls with nice tits, and if you won't ask why any newspaper or hardly anyone on Twitter should bother to check it etc etc - we now - thanks to an anonymous tip-off - have an artist's impression (above, obvs) of what it may have looked like.

If you have not seen anything like this recently, please hesitate to get in touch.

Mail On Sunday: Tory Sex Scandal Shock!

The Mail are giving away no details, apart from the fact that the people involved are "middle-aged".
Fagburn thinks this rules it down to a member of the "middle-aged" ruling - perhaps metropolitan - elite.
Hmm...
If this could blow David Cameron's agenda "out of the water", it must be about someone gay marrying a European illegal immigrant on a wind farm or something, probably.
More tomorrow.
That's if I can get to sleep what with thinking about all this political intrigue and sexual shenanigans - or manage to wake up...

Q&A: Sinéad O'Connor

What has been your biggest disappointment?

That so far none of my children has told me they're gay.

Guardian Weekend. 

Book Of The Month: God Made Dad & Mom

Adorable! Via Good As You. 
"Michael's fun and adventurous..." Euphemism?

"Anti-Fascism": On Badgers, The BNP & Benny Hill

Good to see that this story from International Business Times - that name again, International Business Times - summed up for so many people on Twitter how we should remember those protests against the BNP in London earlier.
And how handy that these young lady badgers are so fruity - they'll probably even be in the Mail and the Telegraph tomorrow.
"Now this IS England! RT" etc etc. 
If only the Battle of Cable Street or the entire Spanish Civil War could have been visually summed up so easily - and so saucily. 
Now, obviously, this actually happened and the "Far-right extremists [were] chased through London by women dressed as badgers" - presumably while many straight men played the Benny Hill theme tune in their imagination.
But in a world of smartphones, Twitter, and Instagram, there must be loads of people with photos of this crazy political chase taking place, yes?
So please send them in.

PS Call me an over-sceptic, maybe it did happen, but after a Twitterstorm like this I'd just like one bit of proof.
Thanks.

Gay Money: A Poverty Of Riches

When gays and lesbians are featured in popular culture, what do we see? White, wealthy women who host talk shows or affluent men doting on their kids -- like Mitchell and Cameron from "Modern Family." So it’s no wonder that the conventional wisdom is that gay people in America have tons of money and fewer economic struggles than the rest of the population.
But the truth is significantly different.“I think people are surprised there are any poor gay people,” says M.V. Lee Badgett, professor of economics and research director for The Williams Institute, a national think tank at UCLA Law School researches sexual orientation and gender identity law and public policy. “This ‘myth of gay affluence’ has been around for a long time. It gets in the way of people even imagining that LGBT people can be poor.”
On Monday, the Williams Institute will release a detailed study about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people and their real economic status. Drawing on recent data from four different sources, the report finds a sexual orientation “poverty gap”: LGBT Americans are more likely to be poor than heterosexuals, with African-Americans and women particularly vulnerable.
Badgett spoke with NBC News about the results of the study, "The Gay Affluence Myth: New Research on LGBT Poverty."

NBC News.
The article includes an interview with Badgett on The Gay Affluence Myth.
Though with all the work done on debunking this myth - see Gay Money: The truth about lesbian and gay economics - it's depressing this would still be news to anyone.
And surely the main propagators of the gay=rich myth have been, not popular culture, but the US evangelical right, and the gay media* and gay marketeers? 

* For one ludicrous recent example see 8 Ways Legalizing Same-Sex Marriage Is Good For The Economy on Huff Post Gay.
Includes the classic correction: "An earlier version of this post incorrectly stated that legalizing same-sex marriage would boost California's economy by $123 billion over three years. It would boost it by $123 million, according to a 2005 Stanford study."
The second figure's just as spurious, but Oops!

Letter Of The Week: The Independent

The Independent.

Yes dear, I'm sure the happy couple sent out personal invites to all the world's media, and they didn't turn up just because it was a teensy little bit news-worthy.
Thank god straight people don't turn their weddings into some silly media circus, eh?
What a boring little (gay) man you sound.

PS Why is it that whenever you read a variation on that dread phrase, "As a gay man..." - a favourite of the Mail's inhouse Uncle Tom Andrew Pierce - you know your heart's about to sink to your sphincter?

PPS And - oh look! - an "unprecedented alliance" of 52 religious loons have written to the Telegraph today to say they don't like gay marriage. Yowsah!

Thought For The Day: Susan Sarandon

There are a lot of actors who are still in the closet. If you’re a leading man, even admitting to yourself that you’re gay is a big thing and it must just be torture not to be able to own one of the most interesting parts of yourself, which is your sexuality. But I would never urge someone to come out unless they wanted to. That’s their business. 

Susan Sarandon in The Times.
Thus obeying the first rule of these weekend magazines Q&As; if they're an actor ask them about closeted actors - and/or ask can gay actors play straight roles and/or vice-versa.
Rule two: If they're gay ask them about coming out.

PS Fagburn preferred this quote; "People say to me: “Why should we listen to any of your political views?” I say: “Why should you care who I’m sleeping with?”"