Matthew Parris: Swimming Against The Tide

Matthew Parris has been writing about how he and a young man were doing something rather naughty dressed only in their underpants in a public place in central London in the early hours of one morning last week.
No, he hasn't been cruising on Clapham Common. Again.
The Daily Telegraph's parliamentary sketch writer and columnist has got into a bit of bother after writing about a moonlit swim across the Thames last week.
Parris began with a warning; "First, don’t try this at home. It could have ended in disaster. It was ignorant and it was dangerous.
"But it was not impetuous. I have been thinking, talking, and finally fretting about swimming across the River Thames for 15 years since, in my forties, I moved into a flat on Narrow Street in the East End of London, looking out over the river at Limehouse Reach."
Why? Because it was... actually he doesn't explain why he wanted to do it. Except that knew he had to do it before he got much older; "The deferral was becoming Chekhovian... In a couple of weeks I shall turn 61."
A late life crisis, Matthew? A need to prove one's ebbing virility, like Mao swimming the Yangtze?
Fagburn is delighted to report Parris finally did it - quite successfully - last Wednesday, accompanied by a young friend of his ("Jonathan, at 20 the stronger swimmer...")
But BBC News managed to phone up a few people seemingly picked at random out of the phonebook until they found someone who wasn't too happy about it.
"Frankly swimming in the Thames is not only ignorant it is selfish too," said David Snelson, Port of London Authority chief harbour master.
"It is important to emphasise that the dangers of swimming are not simply that the swimmer will drown. A boat or larger vessel coming across a swimmer in the river might have to swerve to avoid him and risk collision with another vessel or bridge or pier."
But then, like cruising on Clapham Common, I imagine the danger's half the fun.