Mr Sad Gay: Introducing Our New Star Columnist

I am so sad about what's happening to the gays in Russia right now. 
Where will our misery ever end?
Oh, squish squish boo-hoo.
I really, really care. 
Hold me now while I weep for the gay world.
Why?

Brilliant, passionate piece Mr Sad Gay!
Same time next week?
Shall we say insincere sentimental crap o'clock?

• Our other star columnist, Patrick Smugtwit, is taking some time off to spend with his ego.