Joe McElderry: Still Awake?

It was touch-and-go for little Joe McElderry this weekend.
Due to plug his sorry debut album at G-A-Y on Saturday night, on Friday The Sun reported he was in bed with laryngitis.
That's right - he had a sore throat!
The mind boggles...
Luckily for everyone Joe rose like Lazarus.
The Sun's coverage of Joe's G-A-Y PA?
Zero. Which may indicate the young lad's star is already quickly fading.
The Mail, Express and Star all ignored it, too.
They may have missed out - The Mirror made it sound like a cross between Altamont and the last days of the Roman empire.
'Joe McElderry rescued by minders from lively G-A-Y crowd'
"Joe McElderry's going to be back in the closet quicker than you can say YMCA after being mobbed by drooling fellas during his gig.
"The terrified X Factor winner had to be rescued by beefy minders when one overexcited fan leapt on the stage at London's G-A-Y.
"I'm told: "Joe performed six tracks from the new album but towards the end of his last song a fan clambered on to the stage and tried to haul him off it and into the crowd.
"Bouncers waded in and dragged him to safety. There was a stampede." Scary stuff..."
Blimey!
Commented the Mirror's ever droll 3am girls/boys;
"Crikey. Maybe the clamberer just wanted to hold Joe's hand as he negotiates the tricky world of relationships. Has he still just kissed the one boy? He's missing out!"
Crikey!
Joe's album - Wide Apart or whatever it's called - is in the shops today!
Tick tick tick tick tick tick...