George Galloway: The Lodger

'Galloway has an answer for everything, and yet there is something unknowable about him – which is partly why he annoys so many people. He himself was floored by a mystery recently, though, when he came home one day and found all the ties in his bedroom had been moved.
'"I have a sword, given to me in Saudi Arabia or somewhere, so I unsheathed my sword, and went upstairs [to the top floor]. There was no one there, but there was a bottle of gin – which, of course, would never be in my house," Galloway being a life-long teetotaller. "And a gay video, which definitely would never be in my house. So the police came, and they said this person appears to have been living here in your house for some time."

George Galloway interviewed in The Guardian. 
A statement to which the only legitimate response is; "Eh?"
Interesting use of the word "definitely", too.
A qualification the life-long teetotaller didn't feel the need to use about the bottle of gin.

• I should add that I think there is much to be said for this much maligned man - and people should think about why he's become such a vilified figure in the media. Here's an article on the demonisation of George Galloway and the dismissal of Respect's recent victory in the Bradford East by-election from the excellent MediaLens.