Gareth Williams Inquest: Titter Ye Not!

'The MI6 spy whose body was found in a padlocked holdall in his bath was once discovered tied to his bed in just his boxer shorts by his former landlady, the inquest into his death heard today.
'Describing Gareth Williams as “embarrassed, panicky, and apologetic” when found, Jennifer Elliot’s statement to the inquest detailed how she and her husband heard cries for help from their lodger in the early hours of the morning.
“Approximately three years ago, in bed, we heard Gareth shouting for help,” she said.
“It was about 1.30am, in the winter. We both got up and got the spare key. I called up, ‘are you ok?’, and we went up to find him lying on his bed with both arms and hands tied with a material that was attached to each bobble at the end of the headboard.
“We were both in shock. He was very embarrassed, panicky, and apologetic. He said, ‘I just wanted to see if I could get myself free’.”
'The spy was dressed in boxer shorts, with the bedclothes pulled over his legs, she said.
"He was not aroused and I could not see any sperm near him," Ms Elliot continued.
'She added that the unknown material had cut into Williams’ wrists.
Ms Elliott went on to explain that they believed that the event was probably of a sexual nature rather “than escapology”...
“He apologised and said it would not happen again, and Gareth never caused any situation like it again..."

The Daily Mirror goes into the most detail about what was heard at the Gareth Williams inquest yesterday.
The Sun were kind enough to publish a photo of the actual bed.
I do feel guilty, but it's hard to not find something cruelly amusing in this scenario. 
It appeals to a very English sense of humour - most papers seemed to be sniggering about it today - it sounds like a scene from a Whitehall farce.
It's even funnier if you read out Mrs Elliot's words in the voice of the landlady from Monty Python, I find.
Sorry Gareth.

Update: BBC TV News item Friday 27th, includes man demonstrating getting into a sports holdall.