Homophobia Watch: More Drunks In Trouble

A gay couple have claimed they were kicked out of a London pub for kissing.

Oliver Brideshead-Revisted and boyfriend Hugh Poncey-Squire went to police after being ejected from the London venue Glory Holes.

They also claim a member of security staff called them a homophobic slur.

The couple allege they had been having an argument but were making up when a member of the door staff pulled Squire away.

Hugh told reporters; 'This was a clear case of HOMOEOPHOBIA!'

This comes mere days after a drunk les claimed she was thrown out of the notoriously anti-gay Balans on Old Compton Street.

An onlooker said; 'These posh twats were pissed out of their minds FFS.'

Oliver commented; 'More Champagne? Hic!'

Northern Ireland: Alternative Ulster

Following an article published in Sunday Life on 3 February 2015, headlined “Tyrone cleric baffled by false gay rumours”, Rev Peter Thompson complained to the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO) that Sunday Life had intruded into his private life in breach of Clause 3 (Privacy) of the Editors’ Code of Practice. IPSO upheld the complaint and established a breach of the Editors’ Code. IPSO required the Sunday Life to publish this decision by its Complaints Committee as a remedy to the breach.

The article reported that the complainant was “baffled” by “false rumours” that he had been cautioned by police, and also that he was homosexual.

The complainant said that the publication of these rumours, which were personal in nature, was a breach of his privacy. He said that he had confirmed to the newspaper prior to publication that the claims were untrue and unsubstantiated.

The complainant had been contacted for his comment prior to publication, and had contacted the Church of Ireland Press Office to confirm the identity of the journalist before returning her call. The complainant was concerned that the newspaper had sought to use his categorical denial of the allegations in that conversation as justification for circulating them further...

Belfast Telegraph.

The Independent Press Standards Organisation (Ipso) has upheld a complaint against the Belfast-based Sunday Life and ordered the newspaper to carry its adjudication.

Ipso’s complaints committee ruled that the paper had intruded into the privacy of a Church of Ireland rector by publishing rumours about him.

Reverend Peter Thompson complained to the regulator after the Life published an article in February 2015 headlined “Tyrone cleric baffled by false gay rumours”. The article also referred to another rumour that he had been cautioned by police.

Thompson, who told the paper’s reporter that the claims were untrue and unsubstantiated, argued that the paper had sought to use his categorical denial as justification for circulating them further.

The newspaper explained that it was made aware of the rumours after being contacted by an unknown source. It contended that the article was in the public interest because Thompson was a prominent local figure, and the allegation that he had had a police caution was of a very serious nature. 

Media Guardian.

Ivan Massow: Gay Nightmare {Gedditt?]

Mr Massow, a serial entrepreneur and lifelong Conservative [sic], said that he would not stand for any demonization of the UK’s financial services sector.

“It makes £125bn for the economy, and that’s before you factor in couriers and taxis and other service industries,” he said.

“People say we rely too heavily on the financial services. Fine. Grow other businesses, then. The City pays its way and does a lot of good.

“Socialism takes capitalism for granted.”

Telegraph.

What a thick Tory twat - and that's before you factor in couriers and taxis.

Letters Of The Day: Love Thy Neighbour

SIR – Many of those who voted in favour of legalising same-sex marriage in the Republic of Ireland will have been Catholic.

The country has rejected an archaic and divisive form of Christianity in favour of one that follows Christ’s teaching to love thy neighbour.

Rebekah Reville Joy
Barnet, Hertfordshire

SIR – For the Church to pretend to have always been the guardian of marriage is disingenuous, since for the first millennium it did not even have a ceremony to celebrate it.

Some Christian groups expressly forbade it, and while the pre-Reformation church accepted the need for reproduction, it always placed celibacy on a higher moral plain.

Rev Dr John Cameron
St Andrews, Fife

SIR – Edward Thomas (Letters, May 24) asks why the rights of a gay couple should outweigh those of a Christian family business. Only someone who has not had to endure many years of stigmatisation due to a state of being beyond their choosing would ask such a question.

What he should be asking is why Christians, who should surely know better, are still intent on perpetuating a situation where one part of the population is denied the same rights as the rest.

Gary Spring
Southgate, Glamorgan

The Sunday Telegraph.

Moscow Pride: Selfie!

First photo of my arrest at 10th Moscow Pride a few minutes ago! @ Мэрия Москвы https://t.co/UJqAPdM8vQ

— Nikolai Alexeyev (@n_alexeyev) May 30, 2015

Fagburn has written approving things about Nikolai Alexeyev in the past - then various people told me he's a really dodgy racist, right-wing loon.

Nik, you wanted to get arrested, so you could tell the Western media, this is vanity, not gay activism.

One must ask what other Russian LGBT campaigners think of his tactics and aims.

PS As ever, you can't beat the reader comments on Pink News for well-informed and thoughtful political discourse...

Gay Marriage: This Ad Is Unticking All My Boxes!

Sorry BuzzFeed News, you lost me after 'gay republican soldier who wants to get married'.

But if anyone needs proof of how the gay movement has been hijacked by the gay right...

PS And how lobotomised would you have to be to care about 'Benjy the 'gay bull' may be bisexual', or 'Key West gets rainbow crossings'? FFS.

PPS And this week's Fagburn Award For Services To Clueless Thickitude goes to this moron at the Spectator blog who wonders if the legal highs blanket ban outlaws poppers will the Tories lose the 'gay vote'!!!

Thatcher: Anti

"I wanted to start this project because I think there’s going to be a serious need to counteract the whitewashed version of Thatcher’s legacy the official museum will present." says Darren [Cullen].

"It’s unlikely the official museum will address Thatcher’s unflinching support for brutal regimes like the Khmer Rouge In Cambodia, Augusto Pinochet in Chile or apartheid South Africa. They’re not going to talk about Thatcher’s implementation of the first anti-gay law in 100 years, Section 28, which was almost identical to Russia’s recent anti-LGBT law."

"They won’t address how Thatcher oversaw two recessions, massive levels of unemployment, raising poverty and inequality, the devastation of UK manufacturing, deregulation of banks, the Poll Tax and the privatisation of everything from basic utilities to social housing" ...

Masha Gessen: Barking

In Stalin's day they used to put critics of Russia in mental asylums.

In Masha Gessen's case I think this would be quite justified.

Gessen and her wife, Darya Oreshkina, have three children, the oldest of whom is adopted. They were being targeted with the Russian gay propaganda law, which effectively makes “non-traditional sexual relationships” a criminal offence.

Just laughable.

Like when she said there should be a mass exodus of LGBTs from Russia!

John Curry: Skating On Thin Ice

One of the authors in contention to win a prestigious sports book award is angry that John Curry, the Olympic figure skating champion, is largely ignored in the debate about homosexuality in sport, despite having the courage to reveal that he was gay almost 40 years ago.

Two of the titles shortlisted for the Cross British Sports Book Awards next week deal with sportsmen and their struggle with their sexuality.Proud, by Gareth Thomas and Michael Calvin, deals with how the former Wales and British Lions captain tried to hide the truth from his team-mates, but according to Bill Jones, author of Alone: The Triumph and Tragedy of John Curry, sportsmen such as Thomas and, more recently, Tom Daley, have been able to be honest about their sex lives in a far less hostile environment than that faced by Curry.

“Much as I hugely admire Tom Daley and Gareth Thomas for what they have done through social media or the biography, they are not doing anything that John didn’t do and they are taking far fewer risks because we are ready for it, we can deal with it,” Jones says.

“Homosexuality in sport is still a massive issue, but coming out does not engender the same feelings of isolation that it did for John and the support networks are there now. It’s fascinating that nearly four decades on since he sat in front of Fleet Street and told them he was gay, we still kind of think it is remarkable when someone comes out.

“It’s a bit sad for John that in that debate he gets left out. Part of me feels angry on John’s behalf that he’s not given the credit for that act of courage in 1976.”

Jones says that he has given a great deal of thought as to why Curry’s confession soon after his mesmerising performance at the Innsbruck Winter Games did not do more to speed along acceptance of homosexuality in sport.

“Part of the problem was that we didn’t have the language to have that conversation,” Jones says. “Newspapers didn’t know how to write about it or phrase it. The language was new. People didn’t talk about partners. The press found themselves in a position to ask John questions but they didn’t know quite how to ask them.

“It was more comfortable for John’s confession to just go quietly away. It wasn’t much better when he was dying at home in Warwickshire. The discomfort of the papers: they weren’t sure whether to have a go at an Aids sufferer or feel sorry for them.” ...

The Times.

Ice-skating is the only sport, apart from diving and boxing obvs, the gays are any good at.

Here's a Guardian excerpt from the book.

Gay Marriage: Next We Take Australia

First Dog On The Moon - See the rest of this cartoon here.

It's Australia's turn to join in the thrilling debate about equal marriage now.

The Guardian have even got a devoted sub-site Same-Sex Marriage (Australia).

Unjoy!

PS Less of this patronising happy-clappy crap, pls.

RuPaul's Drag Race: UK

The Telegraph!

This quiz could prove quite an eye-opener for a few retired old colonels in the Cotswolds.

PS If you've somehow missed the media megablitz, it starts Monday.

Big Brother: Bum Rush The Show!

A BIG Brother wannabe was kicked out of the TV house yesterday for repeatedly exposing himself to another contestant.

Viewers last night saw Aaron Frew, 24, being warned about his behaviour around Tory councillor Joel Williams, 19, who he admitted having a crush on.

But a source revealed: “In the early hours of Thursday he got a bit carried away with flirting with and winding up Joel.

“He was flashing him and it went on for a little bit. It seemed inappropriate so the decision was made to remove him.

“Joel seemed a little uncomfortable but he didn’t make a complaint.

“We decided boundaries had been crossed.” ...

The Sun.

Good stuff, Aaron, I consider this a little victory in the queer class war and for #TeamGay in general.

And good on the Mail Online who were so APPALLED! by all this they've published loads of pics and clips and an incredibly detailed description...

The group then decided to play a game of Truth Or Dare, which appeared to focus on who each of the housemates found attractive.

When it was Jack's turn, he was dared to kiss Aaron on his buttocks, after Chloe deemed the initial challenge of kissing him on the cheek 'boring'.

Once the bottle spun in Joel's direction, he was dared to kiss Aaron on the lips, but quipped, 'I'd rather kiss Aaron on the bottom,' as his housemates chanted to egg him on.

After the dare proved unsuccessful, things appeared to calm down between the two and, after enjoying a few alcoholic beverages, Aaron was seen sharing a bath with Joel.

Following a conversation about Joel's social life, Aaron assured his housemate that his sexually-charged overtures were 'pure banter', which Joel acknowledged.

However, once they got into the bedroom with their other housemates at the end of the night, things were turned up a notch, when Aaron lowered his blue towel and flashed his buttocks at Aaron...

Fagburn imagines Patrick Smugtwit is hurriedly writing 400 angry words saying this was worse than rape; 'Imagine if he did that to a woman!' etc etc.

Aaron's got a lovely little bumbum, I wish he'd flash it at me.

Ben Harris-Quinney: Creepy Nobody Speaks Out

Ben Harris-Quinney, a voice of the young, hard right of the Conservatives, has been recorded in Russia sounding off about gay people. He is heard accusing what he calls the “LGBT lobby” of wanting children as young as seven to be given sex lessons that include the “promotion of a homosexual lifestyle”.

He continues: “I am pleased to say that from a climate of fear that had been created by the LGBT lobby, as a necessity of support for same-sex marriage, we successfully ensured that a majority of Conservative MPs did not vote for same-sex marriage, and the Conservative Prime Minister was forced to endure the indignity of passing same-sex marriage only with the support of opposition parties.”

Harris-Quinney is a councillor and chairs the Bow Group, which has an illustrious history as one of the oldest Conservative think-tanks. It is linked with Conservative luminaries such as Lord Howe and the former Deputy PM, Michael Heseltine. But when Lord Heseltine was asked about Harris-Quinney on the BBC’s Daily Politics this month, he dismissed him as a “nobody”.

Pink News, which obtained the recording, ran a commentary on it describing Harris-Quinney as a “vile homophobe”. He says: “The Pink News article is both false and defamatory, and I am deeply offended by the allegations.” However, the words he can be heard saying are clear.

A complaint has been made to the Conservative Party’s disciplinary committee. “These sort of homophobic views have no place in the Conservative Party,” a source said.

The Independent diary.

Can't quite see why he should be sacked or suspended, he hasn't done anything illegal, just expressed views that many Conservative party members and politicians share - albeit less vocally.

Can't help suspecting he may have some other 'controversial views' the Tories want to distance themselves from.

PS Have to say here what I know you're all thinking, but Mr BHQ looks like one of those chaps who hangs around The Hoist, don't he?

Legal disclaimer: I is not suggesting he is secretly into scat and piss. Nope.

Alan Bennett: The Lady In The Van

"The story told by this film took place 40 and more years ago and Miss Shepherd is long since dead. She was difficult and eccentric but above all she was poor.

"And these days particularly the poor don't get much of a look in. Poverty is a moral failing today as it was under the Tudors.

"If the film has a point, it's about fairness and tolerance and however begrudgingly helping the less fortunate, who are not well thought of these days.

"And now likely to be even less so."

Alan Bennett. 

Watch the trailer with that Maggie Smith - Baftas all round?

It's not out til November, soz.

Not1More: LGBTQ Shutdown

May 28, 2015 – Santa Ana, CA – Five LGBTQ and Immigrant rights leaders have taken over intersection of Flower and Civic Center, near the detention center in Santa Ana that holds transgender detainees, in a protest risking arrest to demand an immediate end to detention and deportation, starting with releasing undocumented transgender women...

Isa Noyola, who is risking arrest, says: “For too long our communities have been experiencing oppression through its immigration system. With each presidential administration advocates rally and push for reform measures and some lose sight of the broader vision for liberation. We are here today to uplift these broader demands of liberation; an end to detention centers and the criminalization of our transgender, gender non-conforming and queer communities. Trans women today are at the frontlines and showing up for our communities because our lives are on the line.”

Not One More Deportation.

Fagburn: Is Otherwise Engaged

Adorable! etc.

Doing man stuff today - see you in a bit. x

PS This is the greatest thing I've read in a while.

How to fool the world's media into writing about a 'scientific study' that shows eating chocolate helps you lose weight, Jonathan Bohannon.

The key is to exploit journalists’ incredible laziness. If you lay out the information just right, you can shape the story that emerges in the media almost like you were writing those stories yourself. In fact, that’s literally what you’re doing, since many reporters just copied and pasted our text...

Textbook stuff!

In true lazy journalist tradition, I'm linking to this without bothering to check its veracity.

PS This first said 'eating cocolate' I apologise unreservedly for this Freudian penis slip.

Spare Rib: Online

The British Library have digitised the complete run of the British feminist magazine Spare Rib (1972-1993), and put them online.

Tony Blair: Mission Accomplished

The Guardian.

Bring back hanging!

PS Only Israel will miss him - Robert Fisk.

Drugs: Ban Everything!

Even by the standards of modern legislation, the psychoactive substances bill is startlingly inane. It seems to ban any substance which can cause a mental or emotional reaction. As must be obvious, that's almost everything in the world. Did this taste remind you of your mother's cooking? It's a psychoactive substance. Did it bring you a moment of happiness? It's a psychoactive substance. The government is about to ban almost everything...

Ian Dunt on politics.co.uk on a spectacularly dumb piece of tabloid-friendly populist drivel.

Where will it leave, say, poppers?

It's so ill thought-out surely the legislation will collapse under the weight of its own contradictions?

What stupid idea will they come up with next?

Oh, mandatory age and ID Checks if you want to watch porn!

PS Vice clarifies that it's all based on a load of bollocks...

You know those legal highs that the government is about to ban en masse because they kill two people per week? They don't kill two people per week, or anything close.

Wednesday's Queen's speech, the first airing of a fully Tory parliamentary programme since 1996, included an unprecedented blanket ban on selling new psychoactive substances.

The announcement was met with various responses. Most importantly, a briefly-amusingVine of the Queen set to an Avicii 2011 Trance Energy lightshow drop. But alsowarnings that the ban turns centuries of British legal tradition on its head, and plenty ofTwitter users saying that the 97 deaths from legal highs in 2012 pales in comparison to the thousands of deaths linked to booze.

But for anyone with even a fleeting interest in the issue, the pertinent response should have been: Why is everyone in this story about banning legal highs talking about 97 deaths, when that figure is largely composed of drugs that were not legal at the time people died from taking them?

The dramatic "97 deaths" figure has travelled well, being quoted by the BBC, the Press Association and the Daily Mail, among others. While yesterday was bad news for the guys selling Bob Marley weed grinders and "Adihash" T-shirts, it was very good news for a right-wing think tank founded by Iain Duncan Smith called the Centre for Social Justice, or CSJ

The CSJ has a strong evangelical Christian bent and is extremely influential in the Tory party. They have been pushing for a blanket ban for a while, so for them yesterday's news was a major victory. The think tank's lead man on legal highs, Rupert Oldham-Reid,hailed the proposed law in an article for Conservative Home, quoting everyone's favourite figure for legal high deaths, or something close to it. "Most tragically, in the last Parliament, the number of deaths associated with 'legal highs' has gone from one per month to over two per week," he wrote. The influence of the CSJ was also seen in a BBC piece published earlier this week, which declared: "Research from the Centre for Social Justice showed that there were 97 recorded deaths from legal highs in the UK in 2012."

Except there obviously weren't...

Owen Jones Watch: Dear Me

Owen frowning and looking concerned, pictured recently.

How tempting for the left to turn inwards, to suddenly feel like strangers in a foreign and hostile land, populated by shy Tories and rampant Ukippery. You can see how the already inward-looking left could become ever more insular, with leftwing meetings serving as group therapy rather than a means to win over the unconvinced or the unreached, and activists retreating into online “safe spaces” free of those who think differently. Our language often seems intended to exclude, full of rhetoric and terminology that only those who have associated with leftwing milieus could ever hope to digest. Social media abounds with activists attacking others on the left for failing to abide by the strict rules of communication.

Not speaking or writing in the correct way can be seen as suspicious at best, treacherous at worst. For millions of people who are not au fait with the latest queer theories, that means being written off. Being “leftwing” could become a cultural label, like being a hipster or an emo-kid, a way of standing out from the crowd and asserting difference in a Ukip-ised England.

How ironic that the right preaches rampant individualism but often displays great solidarity, while the left professes collectivism, but often operates in the most rampantly individualistic way. Voices on the left who achieve any prominence whatsoever are castigated for careerism or other ulterior motives, or for failing to use their platform to promote the correct form of politics. Rather than seeing different strategies as complementary, an advocate of a different approach risks being accused of not acting in good faith.

For those of us who want to transform society, rather than just noisily critique the way things are, we have to completely rethink our approach. This is not me castigating the failures of others, arrogantly assuming I have it all worked out. I don’t, and this is about my failure as much as anyone else’s...

Owen Jones, The Guardian.

Our Owen castigates those on the Left who are 'talking among themselves' by writing about himself.

All a bit rich for someone who holds the Twitter record for BLOCKING! anyone who says he may be wrong.

Poor lamb.

Stop it OJ!

PS Owen Jones is quite bonkers.

Church News: Humanity Finally Defeated

The Irish vote to allow same-sex marriage was a "defeat for humanity", a senior Vatican official has said in the first high-level reaction from the Holy See to last week's landmark referendum.

"Not a defeat for Christian principles, it was a defeat for humanity," Vatican Secretary of State Cardinal Pietro Parolin said in comments quoted by Vatican Radio late on Tuesday. "I was very saddened by this result."

Parolin, Pope Francis' most senior Vatican official, added that the referendum result showed the Church needed to improve the ways it preached the Christian message.

"The Church must take account of this reality, but in the sense of reinforcing its commitment to evangelization," he said...

Reuters.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Gay Star News: Unsubstantiated Report In Gossip Mag!

Dear Gay Star News,

You just get shitter and shitter, please do the gayers of the world a huge favour and close down immediately.

yours

Fagburn

Chelsea Manning: Five Years

Free Chelsea Manning.

PS Chelsea writes for The Guardian Comment Is Free.

Today marks five years since I was ordered into military confinement while deployed to Iraq in 2010. I find it difficult to believe, at times, just how long I have been in prison. Throughout this time, there have been so many ups and downs – it often feels like a physical and emotional roller coaster.

It all began in the first few weeks of 2010, when I made the life-changing decision to release to the public a repository of classified (and unclassified but “sensitive” ) documents that provided a simultaneously horrific and beautiful outlook on the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. After spending months preparing to deploy toAfghanistan in 2008, switching to Iraq in 2009 and actually staying in Iraq from 2009-10, I quickly and fully recognized the importance of these documents to the world at large...

PPS The Fight To Free Chelsea Manning, The Nation.

Tweet Of The Day: Cher

I Don't Get It..Why r There GAY Republicans? They Think u r An Abomination Against Their Religion,Wont Go 2 ur Marriage,Or Christenings.WHY?

— Cher (@cher) May 27, 2015

Thank U CHER! AlwaYS Luv reeding yr TWEETS! x

Gay Dad Watch: Ricky Martin

AS the most eligible gay bachelor in the world, it’s an understatement to say Latin superstar RICKY MARTIN has no shortage of potential partners.

After splitting from long-term boyfriend Carlos Gonzalez Abella, the flirtatious singer reveals he’s back on the market and actively looking for a new man.

Unexpectedly putting his hand on my knee and staring directly into my eyes, the passionate Puerto Rican, who has sold 85million records, says softly: “I am single now after seven years. I meet people. I’m fine. I meet very handsome men. I like to have a conversation, looking into someone’s eyes and finding out their sense of humour.”

Then, as if it’s not awkward enough, he adds, seemingly referring to my not-so-perfect physique: “I’m not saying you have to be an Adonis, but you have to connect.”

As if to add to my discomfort, he takes off the scarf covering his pecs, saying: “It’s starting to get hot.” ...

Dan Wootton comes over-excited in The Sun.

Oh, and Ricky actually said he can't bring a different man back home every night.

Thought For The Day: Matthew Parris

Those of us who founded Stonewall had it easy. Not because the media and the establishment were sympathetic to our cause (at first they were not) but because we had sharply defined goals, mostly legislative. We knew what we were pitching for, and whom to lobby; and we knew what counted as success. Those formal battles have almost all been won. But in schools, in some police forces, in sport and in the workplace there is still prejudice. No law will change this. Cultural change is slow, untidy, formless — not a pitched battle between two sides — and persuasion is so much harder than legislation. Ian [McKellen], Michael [Cashman] and I don’t envy today’s campaigners. They should envy us.

Matthew Parris, The Times.

PS Comments include a brief exchange between Mr Parris and Mr Fagburn about Mr Cashman.

Survivors UK: A Struggle To Survive

The rape and sexual abuse of men and boys is one of the least recognised, discussed or reported crimes in our society. Despite this stigma, more men in London are coming forward to report sexual assaults and taking the courageous step of asking for help:

In 2014, in London, 307 men reported being raped to the Metropolitan Police – an increase of 120% over 2012 figures

In 2014, in London, 518 men reported experiencing a serious sexual assault to the Metropolitan Police – an increase of 80% over 2012 figures

In 2014, in London, 20%+ of all reports of serious sexual crimes were against men

In London, in 2014, it is estimated that there are more than 300,000 adult male survivors of childhood sexual abuse

In 2014, in London, The Mayor spent £1,292,666 providing specialist support services for victims of sexual assault in London.

Of that, £32,666 (2.5%) was spent on specialist services supporting men and boys...

In 2015, in London, funding to specialist male sexual violence services has been cut to £0.

Survivors UK.

Their petition to Mayor of London Boris Johnson.

I was raped by another man. And now the government wants to take away the one thing that saved my life, Independent Voices.

Mika: Good Guys

Mika makes almost quite good record shock!

And it's about TEH GAYZ!!!

If those gibberish lyrics can be said to be 'about' anything.

PS Some barely coherent blah about the song and sexuality from the formerly closeted singer.

Tweet Of The Day: Panti Bliss

Yesterday, two days after the result, I saw so many LGBT couples holding hands in Dublin. All changed, changed utterly. Long may it continue

— Panti Bliss (@PantiBliss) May 26, 2015

It seemed like this in Brighton, too, interestingly...

PS Let's not be beastly to the Christians, urges the Telegraph.

Update: GCN cover.

The Homosexual Necrophiliac Duck Opera: Rather Startled, I Watched

When, one summer’s afternoon in 1995, Kees Moeliker heard a bang on the window of his office at the Rotterdam Natural History Museum, he could never have anticipated this.

Twenty years later the events that followed, which became the subject of a legendary scientific paper, have made the transition from academic journal to stage: London is set to witness the public premiere of The Homosexual Necrophiliac Duck Opera.

A few minutes before the bang, that fateful day in Holland, a mallard duck had been feeling romantic. Ducks have a wooing technique that could charitably be described as persistent.

Biologists have another term: they call it “rape flights”. Chasing their quarry until it is completely exhausted, the mallards are then able – having proven their stamina – to win the heart of their amore.

In this case, the amore was another male mallard, and his luck was only going to get worse: flying into the office window, he was killed instantly. Luckily for the world, behind that window was Dr Moeliker, a zoology academic, who went down to investigate.

“Rather startled, I watched,” he wrote in the resultant academic paper, describing how the duck, “mounted the corpse and started to copulate”.

“The necrophilic mallard only reluctantly left his ‘mate’: when I had approached him to about five metres, he did not fly away but simply walked off a few metres, weakly uttering series of two-note ‘raeb-raeb’ calls…To the best of my knowledge, this case is the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard.”

The paper has proved a sensation and now, at the King’s Place in London in August, it will be set to music – with the words, “Rather startled, I watched” forming the aria.

“It was a beautifully written paper, it has been crying out to be set to music,” said Dan Gillingwater, the composer, of his motivation. “It’s high art; I’ve got a clarinet quintet playing, and it sounds a bit like Handel.”

He was particularly proud of the two contemporary dancers he has “portraying the act itself” .

“I’ve got a great dancer who plays the murdering shagger. He does this beautiful solo dance of despair when the poor creature dies, and then he leaps on and does the dirty.”

The opera will be performed on August 8 and 9 but Gillingwater, a primary school teacher, hopes to take it into schools, perhaps along with other arguably more serious scientific papers set to music.

“I realise we probably can’t get homosexual necrophilia into primary schools, but we might be able to get it into secondary schools,” he said, optimistically.

Telegraph.

Now booking!

Stock Photo Watch: Careful Now

A family whose image was used in a poster campaign by a group opposing gay marriage in the Irish Republic say they were "naive" about stock photo sites.

The photo had been placed on a website by a photographer in return for a free photo shoot, with the family's consent.

They told the BBC that while the Mothers and Fathers Matter group had legitimately used their image, they did not agree with its message...

"We got some lovely pictures and we agreed to let the photos to be added to stock. We were just unlucky this time," the father said.

In a statement released via Human Rights campaign group Amnesty International in Ireland the pair laid out their own views on the gay marriage debate, although as non-Irish citizens they were not involved in the vote.

"This family believes that everyone has a right to marry the person they love regardless of their gender," they said.

"And this family would vote Yes [in favour of legalising same sex marriage]."

BBC News.

Good for them.

Quick experiment: The most popular stock photo company is Getty Image's iStock. 

Search for 'gay' on their site and what comes up first as 'best match'...

Queerty: Happy Memorial Day

Queerty.

The fetishisation of the military only serves empire.

Wedding: Kieron & Carl's Big Day

Outside of your own wedding (and Ste's!), what's your favourite wedding memory?

This has to be the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton - although we weren’t at the wedding it felt like we all had an invite! I particularly chose Lily of the valley for my buttonhole and featured them in the venue’s flowers, as Kate Middleton had these for her bouquet.

Finally - what are your tips for a couple looking to plan their dream wedding day?

Wedding Magazine - SNIPPP!!!

Ivan Massow: So Hard

Ivan Massow has just launched a campaign to be selected as Conservative candidate for Mayor of London, yet here he is, sitting in the kitchen of his grand central London home – there is an Aga so large it could melt Greenland, and an island the size of… well, Greenland – telling me he has always found it harder to admit to being a Tory than to being gay.

Clearly he is not alone in this. Across the country there are people who would rather come out as gay than Conservative, and they’re completely heterosexual. “It’s always been a real problem for me because of the stigma it’s carried,” he says, very seriously. But Ivan, it’s not leprosy! “But it’s true! At the beginning of speeches I effectively have to apologise for being Conservative. Harder than coming out as gay was coming out as a Conservative.” ...

Daily Telegraph.

Dear reader, 

Can you help me - I've lost something.

The will to live...

Erm, can anyone tell me what Madame Massow means by this?

“Gay people are naturally quite conservative. Lots of gay people, they want low taxes and they don’t tend to use many state services [!] and they want to buy a house, and you know those things that they both get up to” – at this he puts his finger to his nostril and sniffs – “those things are quite Tory!”

If he means gay men and Tories both take a lot of cocaine, he moves in even more rarified circles than I thought.

PS The multi-millionaire, who is urging London businesses to pay a Living Wage, only pays his own campaign manager the minimum wage. Oops!

Will Young: Power Bottom Gear (Geddit!!?)

From the dead hand of Dan Wootton at the Sun.

It's Bank Holiday Monday, I might just go back to bed...

Oh, and for the record, I think this is the first time Miss Wootton has said he's a big ole gay in his Sun pages.

PS Will Yah was in the Independent on Saturday. If you can find one interesting quote in this, you're a better man than I.

Worst Cartoon Of All-Time: The Independent

The Independent.

The full horror of the utter shiteness of this has yet to fully sink in...

PS Crap art imitates a Fagburn piss-take?

Cartoon Of The Day: Martin Rowson

Martin Rowson, The Guardian.

Free Speech: Things Not To Say To A Trans Person

Morrissey Comes Out: For Gay Marriage

Behind you!!!

True To You.

What a loon.

Feel free to make up your own 'Morrissey's in Sydney' gags.

PS Will Never Marry.

Update: As warm and welcome as the Irish referendum. All good Morrissey shows are 62% gay pride and 38% Catholic guilt and his Sydney sojourn is no exception, just with added tan and didgeridoo, Guardian review. Eh?

Irish Marriage Referendum: Those Media Cliches In Full

And thousands cheered in celebration, gaily waving rainbow flags...

Let's not forget the politicians and campaigners who helped make this happen...

And the ones who didn't but still butt in...

An important day in Ireland. Sends a great message that #equality matters. #equalmarriage

— Nicky Morgan (@NickyMorgan01) May 23, 2015

Hectic scenes at Dublin Airport... #hometovote

Meme of these two dudes leaving a polling station...

Little old lady in a rainbow cardy...

But #VoteNo campaigners were also out in force...

Obligatory gay media sentimental twaddle involving a kid; 'heartwarming', 'adorable' etc etc..

And those all important supporting tweets from celebs...

WONDERFUL news for Ireland. Now everyone...GO GET MARRIED #LoveWins ❤❤❤👬

— Tom Daley (@TomDaley1994) May 23, 2015

And finally, a rainbow appeared over the streets of Dublin...