Thought For The Day: Frankie Boyle

I only have two reservations about gay marriage. Firstly, it’s against the holy teachings of our Lord. Secondly, it could fundamentally undermine ratios at wife-swapping parties.
Of course, the official Catholic position is against. As opposed to the unofficial Catholic position — bent over the font biting down hard on a hymn book.
Plans for gay marriage have been approved by MPs despite opposition from nearly half the Tories. They’re worried their rent boys will propose.
One chief opponent is Tory MP Peter Bone.
A little rich as I’m sure I saw his name on the credits of Dishonorable Members 2... I won’t go into details but let’s just say afterwards they had to take a nail brush to the mace.
Lord Tebbit says new legislation could allow him to marry his son to escape inheritance tax.
His son must be devastated that his dad only wants to marry him for his own money.
Tebbit made his anti-gay comments in an interview with homeless newspaper The Big Issue, a publication he actually helped start by being part of Margaret Thatcher’s Cabinet.
I suspect his dislike is at a deeper level. He may have seen gay men stripped to the waist and glistening with sweat, and subconsciously thought they might be mining coal.
Tebbit insists he doesn’t necessarily object to seeing a gay couple together at the altar. So long as it’s in boxes following a shame-induced suicide pact.
He raised the possibility of a lesbian queen. She’d be a lot like the normal queen, but with fewer corgis and more cats.
Apparently, in private, Tebbit confesses he’d be happy to attend a gay church wedding. As he could cover his body in gold paint in order to leap down from the crucifix at the crucial moment and shout: “Not on my watch, ladymen!”

Frankie Boyle in The Sun.

PS Frankie Boyle - a huge Chomsky fan - has it written into his contract that they can't change a single word in his mighty column.