Celebrity Big Brother: Now With Added Shagging!

Now I don't care about you, but Fagburn is RIPPED about the other big news story today - the return of (Celebrity) Big Brother TONIGHT!
Even though I don't own a telly and can't even be arsed to see if you can watch anything on Channel 5 on the internet, I am so fucking excited about this.
The new series also sees another welcome return to our screens - that of Brian Dowling; star of ITV Play's late night interactive gambling-based phone-in show, The Mint.
Leading CBB fanzine The Daily Star spoke for many when they squawked;
"WHAT a coup it was getting Brian Dowling to present the new Big Brother.
"Who better to host the revamped version of everyone’s favourite show?"
Apart from Davina McCall, obviously?
Brian was on the tellybox as recently as last year, when he won the last Celebrity Big Brother.
Then it was cancelled cause no-one was watching and it had started to look even shitter and sadder than before.
And - AND - it's ten years almost to the year since Brian won Big Brother.
Ah, god bless the bubbly/camp/outrageous/gay/Irish/fat/former air steward, 32.
As I type, the Twittersphere is LITERALLY ABLAZE with rumours about who will be the celebrities on Celebrity Big Brother?
Jedward? Sally Bercow?? Bobby Brown??? Pippa Middleton??? Gore Vidal????
It's gonna be one heck of a show - especially now it's being brought to the nation by wank-enabler-in-chief Richard Desmond.
If the pre-publicity is to be believed we are guaranteed to get to see some of these C-List celebs fucking like wild drunken dogs - LIVE ON TV!!!
So we've moved on from Orwell's 1984, and into The Year Of The Sex Olympics.
And that - my friends - is called fucking progress!