Fagburn: Ban Stuff!

Ban packed lunches.
Ban cigarette packaging.
Ban porn.
Ban wanking.
Ban the internet.
Ban Page Three.
Ban lads' mags/gay mags.
Ban sexting.
Ban mobile phones.
Ban sex.
Ban the human body.
Ban cocks.
Ban the bum.
Ban squatting.
Ban Qat.
Ban drugs.
Ban booze.
Ban fags.
Ban the burka.
Ban free speech.
Ban protest.
Ban dissent.
Ban Rihanna.
Ban Ribena.
Ban baked beans.
Ban supersized fizzy drinks.
Ban The Railway Children.
Ban railways.
Ban children.
Ban freedom.
Ban press freedom (for them to write junk).
Ban fun.
Ban joy.
Ban Muslims.
Ban Christian loons.
Ban benefits.
Ban immigrants.
Ban the poor.
Ban gay marriage.
Ban gays.
Ban abortion.
Ban the BBC.
Ban TV.
Ban Justin Bieber.
Ban Iran.
Ban the banana.
Ban banter.
Ban some stuff that doesn't exist (ban bug-chasing!!!)
Ban old episodes of Top Of The Pops with Jimmy Savile in.
Ban anything you like that I don't like.
Ban people thinking for themselves.
Ban the brain.
Oh, what the hell, let's just ban everything.
Just to be banning sure.
BAN BANS!

• Dedicated to Diane Abbott and all other "nosey matron types" who get off on telling other people what to do.