Alan Johnson: Penis

Published without comment.

Guardian: Peak?

This article is actually quite interesting.

Note how The Guardian haven't published a picture of his penis, pixellated or no.

Orlando Bloom: Penis

Men should not exploit and objectify women. But why is it that when Orlando Bloom’s genitalia finds its way on to the internet there is a distinct dearth of concern for his feelings. If men and women are equal, why does Bloom’s hurt pride matter less?

Does it not matter if Bloom reads a sea of snickering comments about the length, girth and potential uses for his penis? Are we allowed to zoom in and giggle over whether he’s circumcised or not? Can we swap photos on WhatsApp groups? Can we create Twitter memes celebrating the fact we plan to masturbate over the snaps later? Does the fact Bloom is blissfully unaware in all of these shots that he’s been hunted down, snooped upon and caught literally with his pants down, not matter in this case really, because well, he’s a man?

Grace Dent, The Independent.

Brent Ray Fraser: The Artist Who Paints With His Dick

'It's like the Warhol Factory, but with my dick.'

Via Vice.

Penis Size: Is It Just Me...

Mail Online.

Or do gay men have bigger cocks?

I don't think I've ever shagged anyone with a five incher.

Randal Kleiser: The Penis Chronicles

The subtitle is “Every Man’s Journey.” There’s a song for the play that opens and closes it and the lyrics are “every man’s journey begins with a cry” and then “every man’s journey ends with a sigh,” which is when you die. We have characters ranging from a 16-year-old who’s being teased in the showers at the gym because he hasn’t gone through puberty and has a tiny dick and is using a penis pump to try to grow up. There’s a farm boy alone on the farm coming out and revealing how hard it is. There’s a guy who got HIV from his girlfriend and a male prostitute who was a Wall Street banker who decided it was more interesting to do that work. There’s a drag queen who uses money from tricks to send her little brother to summer camp. There’s just all kinds of drama and interesting stuff. There’s a thread running through it. They’re all connected in some way...

Randal Kleiser interview on Queerty.

Wish they'd do more of this sort of thing, and less pink fluff.

The legendary Randy has directed the play The Penis Chronicles on West Hollywood.

He also directed three of Fagburn's favourite films; Grease, Blue Lagoon and Pee-Wee's Big Top. 

Here he talks about their appeal to gay men - though tbh, I can't see it myself. 

Art News: Folke Art

There are many competing and controversial claims about what it means to be English, but this kinda sums up everything I love about coming from my country.

Well played, Folkestone, well played.

Ken Dodd: Happiness

Endless thanks to Justine.

x

PS A penis?
The old jokes are the best.
Fangyewverymuchiamhereallweek...

Tom Daley: Calendar Girl

Wrong on so many levels...

Quote Of The Day: Simon Cowell's Penis

Closer - thanks to Emma.

Armalite Rifle: A Work Of Art

An American assault rifle manufacturer has drawn the ire of Italy's culture minister after an advertisement depicting Michelangelo's David holding a massive AR-50A1 was published in an Italian newspaper.

The ad is actually a year old -- the company tweeted it on May 15, 2013 -- and part of the company's "work of art" campaign...

The country, which claims the copyright to the statue, is trying to force ArmaLite to remove its ad. 

The director of the Accademia Gallery, where David (sans weapon) is on display, said the ad was both in "bad taste" and "completely illegal."

"The image of David, armed, offends and infringes the law. We will take action against the American company so that it immediately withdraws its (advertising) campaign," Culture Minister Dario Franceschini tweeted (translation per the AFP).

And the Historical Heritage and Fine Arts Board curator Cristina Acidini has issued a "legal notice" to the company demanding that it withdraw the ad.

It's always nice to see America making such positive impressions overseas.

The Wire.

Was this ad featuring a HOT SEXY GAY MILITARY DUDE!!! placed in The Advocate etc etc?!!

Or is that big gun just hiding something?

'The penis isn't a patch on the phallus' - Noted supercool gay academic, Professor Richard Dyer. 

Richard also captioned a gay porn photo of some faux army man; 'The fetishisation of state power.'

Top man.

It was Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni's 539th birthday on Thursday, btw!

PS Actually, this is how you turn the Armalite rifle into a work of your actual art.

Grayson Perry: Can You Tell What It Is Yet?

To the Baftas...
Some fools may thinks it's about rewarding excellence in British TV, but Mail Online know its real meaning, and treated readers to endless photos of famous fillies in fabulous frocks on the red carpet.
They even found room for one fella, Grayson Perry, who is pictured in the above stunning number.
"A long dress with a nude panel running right down the middle."
Uh-huh...

• Grayson came away with an award for his documentary series, All In The Best Possible Taste. Brava!

Religion: Don't Let's Be Beastly To The Christians!

Of course, it could only be The Daily Mail.

Fagburn's thoughts?
Who gives a fuck what this obsessively anti-gay Christian dinosaur thinks about anything anymore?
Apart from Daily Mail readers?
Is it worth taking two minutes of my time to rip apart such a cavalcade of nonsense?
Oh do piss off and go talk to your non-existent silly sky-god.

PS Other newspapers' front pages >>> suggest this may be a slow news day/bank holiday weekend, and they'll print any old rubbish. So maybe it was a good time for this flatulent ancient Druid to speak out?

PPS The Mail also cite a poll by - once again - the almost comically unreliable ComRes/Coalition 4 Marriage.
"The ComRes poll of 535 [!!!] regular churchgoers, commissioned by the Coalition for Marriage (C4M), reveals that more than two-thirds (67 per cent) of Christians feel that they are part of a ‘persecuted minority’."
Yeah, it must be exactly like being Jewish in Nazi Germany.
First they came for the Cornish hotel-owners... 
They're so persecuted that the Church of England is the official church of the state, we pay for creeps like George Carey to sit in the House Of Lords telling lies, and they put his crackpot views on the front of the Daily Mail.
And besides, the sick sado-masochistic death cult of Christanity is all about revelling in being persecuted, innit?
Bet you're loving it.

PPPS I wonder if the former Archbishop of Cuntery thinks the Mail's "Six Pages Of Bumper Easter Puzzles" reflects his feelings about "the real meaning of Easter"?

Update: Rev Giles Fraser tells BBC News George Carey "has hijacked the Easter weekend... this is an insult to people who are genuinely persecuted."

Fagburn: Apology Accepted

Fagburn is unwell, but will be back when he feels less mental.

Good day.

x

Justine Bieber: Huge Penis

Via Popjustice.

Tom Daley: Colourful Character - Official!

'Colourful character: Diver Tom Daley is a British medal hope for the summer'
The Daily Mail.
'But judging by this video the British gold medal hopeful diver may be preparing an audition for the new series of Britain's Got Talent rather than for the London Olympics.'

Since Tom's video went viral yesteryonks, it is clearly now officially okay to fancy him and be generally perving over his young Olympic-hopeful diving majesty.
Hurrah!

PS Better tell those other bitches I loved you first, though.
I fancied you years ago.