Britain's Got Talent: 16 BGT Fans Can't Be Wrong

Viewers have contacted TV watchdog Ofcom to sound off about controversial issues during last week’s live semi finals.

Co-host Declan Donnelly, 38, is accused of making antigay comments to camp French dancers-in-heels Yanis Marshall, Arnaud and Mehdi.

He asked them: “What do your wives and girlfriends make of this routine?”

...

There were also complaints that drag queen La Voix, 33, was an “inappropriate act” before the 9pm watershed.

Ofcom received a total of 34 complaints about the live semi-finals and will “assess” them.

Daily Star.

Over 7 million people watch Britain's Got Talent.

34 is a whopping 0.0005% of viewers.

Should we care - or even be surprised - if a statistically insignificant number of them complain?

Some people will be offended by anything.

Maybe I should contact Ofcom and say I don't like Simon Cowell's face?

Unless you're an idiot, “What do your wives and girlfriends make of this routine?” isn't homophobic. 

If anything people should be complaining that Declan was recycling and revising a legendary 20 year-old gag aimed at Dale Winton on The Mrs Merton Show.

And Dec used the exact same line in the last series about 'camp' dance troupe The Glambassadors!

Ofcom's latest Weekly Broadcast Report doesn't specify what people complained about, so Fagburn wondered if the above was pure speculation on the Star's part.

They told me...

The Star was correct, we took 16 complaints of offence/alleged homophobic tone in Dec's question to gay dance group, “Yanis Marshall, Arnaud & Mehdi”, "What do your wives and girlfriends think of this?"'

The humourless gaybores strike again!

Thank buggery there's only 16 of them.

PS Also...

· 3 complaints about inappropriate acts before the watershed / for a child audience (e.g. drag queens, male dancers in stilettoes, skimpy clothing);
· 2 complaints about bad language by judges (“crap” and “bloody hell”);
· 1 complaint about inclusion of non-British performers.

The Star's 34 figure is for both the semi-finals that weekend - 23 were for the YM&M one. 0.0002% of viewers complained about Dec's joke. Hope that clears that up.

Britain's Got Talent: God Help Us If There's A War!

Or as Faburn prefers to call it; 'Britain's Got Talent?'

Louis Walsh: Boy Trouble

BRITAIN’S Got Talent was caught up in a new favouritism scandal last night for “fast-tracking” Louis Walsh’s boyband to the next round.

Walsh hand-picked the five members of Hometown in open auditions from 1,000 hopefuls in Dublin last May, hoping to create a new Boyzone or Westlife.

And they appeared to breeze through a recent BGT audition in Belfast into round two after getting Simon Cowell’s approval...

The Sun.

Though they do say it only looks like these hand-picked lads might have been favourited...

Britain's Got Talent: Situation

“Britain’s Got Talent is like a gay sitcom this year. There’s David and Simon who are a couple, then me and Amanda Holden who are TV wives. That’s exactly what it is.

“So much is said that is too risky for the main show, especially from David. It is such a shame we don’t do a BGT out-takes show that goes out after the watershed.

“The tone has got lower and lower this year thanks to David."

Alesha Dixon quoted in the Daily Star Sunday - so bum knows if she really said it. 

PS The Star also tells us David Walliams is "flamboyant", yet "married". Thanks for that...

PPS On reflection, I'm not sure why I posted this, it's pretty boring, isn't it?

BGT: Winner's Gay Shame

BRITAIN’S Got Talent winner Pudsey is hiding a gay secret and has a boyfriend.

The lovable pooch, whose owner Ashleigh Butler bagged a £500,000 prize on Saturday night, is smitten with a cocker spaniel called Sam.

The six-year old hound even dumped his border collie girlfriend.

Ashleigh, 17, said: “It’s true. One of my friends has a cocker spaniel called Sam.

“Whenever Pudsey sees Sam, he is in love. He has a thing for him.

“Don’t ask me why. Maybe it’s the ears! Pudsey is a complete flirt.”  

The Daily Star. 

At last some real news!

Well done The Star, this is a real scoop, of interest to members of the dog community everywhere and so sensitively handled.

Never quite understood some of the media's obsession with "gay" animals, but I guess this must be my loss.

Walliams & Cowell: A Fine Bromance

'MATT Lucas has branded his comedy partner David Walliams and Simon Cowell the “new Hinge & Bracket”.
'Little Britain star Matt said David and Simon are getting so pally on Britain’s Got Talent that they remind him of the old telly drag queens.
'On the left [^] is how David and Simon would look as the couple who used to sing – and bicker – around a piano.'

The Sun.
Oh dear...

The Daily Star adds informatively...

'BRITAIN’S Got Talent stars Simon Cowell and David Walliams are to carry on camping it up to beat The Voice.

'Telly focus groups have revealed that viewers of the ITV1 show are loving the antics between David Walliams, 40, and Simon Cowell, 52.

'They told chiefs they want to see the camp Little Britain actor tease and flirt with the music executive even more.

'A show source said: “David has been given the green light to ramp up his bromance with Simon for the live shows.

'“Producers believe it’s the key to hooking in more viewers. The focus groups said they’re loving the show’s talent but wanted even more of David and Simon.

'“Viewers enjoy seeing him leave Simon speechless and red-faced. It’s going to become the campest show on telly."

'Last weekend new BBC1 show The Voice averaged 9.5million viewers, pipping Britain’s Got Talent, now in its sixth series, with 9.1m.

'Cowell admitted he was “irritated” to come in second best.

'Wild comic Walliams, 40, married to model Lara Stone, 28, repeatedly jokes on the show that he has a crush on bachelor Cowell.

'He also teases the music mogul about his sexuality, calling him “Queen Simon”.

'Cowell has admitted he is fond of his new judging pal, saying: “It was meant to be, wasn’t it? You know the sketch with the Prime Minister and the gay assistant in Little Britain, it’s like that.”

'Cheeky Walliams then added: “Except you’re the gay one.”'

Fagburn, for one, is positively gripped.
Many people on the Twittersphere have been asking about Will.i.am on their rival show, The Voice, incidentally...

PS The general consensus on Matt Lucas's new show, The Matt Lucas Awards, which debuted last night, is that it is absolute ruggish and painfully unfunny. Oh dear...

Mike Stock: Pop As Pornography

"Pop music in this country is almost completely dominated by American acts who have taken sexualised imagery, dance moves and lyrical content way beyond the limits of decency.
"As far as music is concerned, it has been a slow but unmistakable descent into pornography. Why? Because it's easy. Put some sexualised dancing and scantily-clad females in the video, and get it on the box. Job done..."
"Bring back pop music for young people, expose it on television and drive all this sexually explicit trash back to the stone age where it belongs."

80s has-been Mike Stock wades into the debate du jour with an open letter to Ofcom.
Hardly surprising - Mr Stock (of him, Aitken & Waterman fame) kickstarted this silly "debate" last August with this bizarre outburst;
"These days you can't watch modern stars - like Britney Spears or Lady Gaga - with a two-year-old.
"Ninety-nine per cent of the charts is R 'n' B and 99 per cent of that is soft pornography."
At the risk of repeating myself, here's what I wrote at the time explaining why Mike "Sam Fox" Stock is a hypocrite, a wanker, a fucktard and a total and utter bell-end.
The Mirror's report has just gone online and is but of course illustrated with a photo of Rihanna's crotch and two of Lady Gaga in a see-through dress.
Fagburn's favourite line?
"Stock singled out Nicole Scherzinger's performance on Britain's Got Talent (watch it in the video player below)..."
Please accept their sincerest hypocrisy.
Fuck off Mirror!
Fuck off Mike!

• Purely by happenchance Mike Stock's The Go! Go! Go! Show - "The show 4 kids" - opens at London's Garrick Theatre next month. It sounds like an absolute pile of shit.

Ronan Parke: The Interview!

The Sun today has the interview everyone wants to read;
'BGT Ronan Parke: The nasty lies really upset me... I hate bullying'
"In his first in-depth interview since he was branded a stooge and came second, the 12-year-old singer said: "I was really upset - I hate bullying.""
You can say that again...
It does look like that widely circulated email from an "anonymous" blogger probably was by-and-large pants.
Simon Cowell secretly signing poor Ronan "two years ago" does seem daft when he'd have so many talent show hopefuls to play with in the meantime - and he's not well known for showing long-term commitment to his acts, is he?
And Ronan's "shock defeat" on Saturday does look like an anti-Cowell vote - shame.
Cowell claims to be calling in the cops.
The Sun only lightly touches on the email's "cruel personal slurs" about Ro.
But they do give a pretty hefty plug for the upcoming Britain's Got Talent tour.
Though; "Rumours circulated this week it may be scrapped because of poor ticket sales but were yesterday flatly denied."
But there is some good news; "The show takes in London's O2 Arena, which has thrilled Ronan.
"He said: "It is my dream to perform at the O2 Arena. I have seen Beyonce and Lady GaGa there and now I am going to be on the same stage which is amazing."
Bless.
Poor kid.

Britain's Got Fuck All Talent: Everybody Loves Ronan

Everyone's twittering about Ronan's appearance on Britain's Got Talent tonight.
It's not on YouTube yet, so here's her his audition in the meantime.
Top lad.
Somehow I get the feeling he'll never marry.
Unless he moves to Canada or the Netherlands or Sweden or somewhere like that.
Let's just hope no-one hacks into his Twitter account in the meantime...

Update: Best Ronan Parke tweet so far; "Hate my mum for thinking that Ronan Parke may be gay" The bitch! Whatever gave her that idea? #bgt etc etc

Update: But is it all a fix so Syco and Simon Cowell can find the next Justin Bieber? Probably.

Britain's Got Talent: "Gymnastics"

Am I alone in thinking that last night's winners of Britain's Got Talent, Spelbound, could be the Minipops de nos jours?