Samussell: Questions To Which The Answer Is No

Is there love in the air for Sam Smith and actor Russell Tovey? The two chums were getting on like a house on fire backstage at Hyde Park on Sunday night.

But our party source says there is nothing going on because Russell, 33, has a new boyfriend...

Dear Daily Mirror,

Just cause two gay men were at a Kylie concert, it doesn't mean they're fucking.

Cause that would be a helluva lot of fucking.

Tom Daley: Oops!

Pictured in Tesco recently.

Thanks - yet again - to Christian. x

Update: Splash! viewing figures now at an all-time low - 3.7million.
All the bummers were probably watching Kylie on The Voice.
Traitors!
Tom, I'm here for you, babes. x

She's also now appearing at the Vauxhall Tavern!

Ronnie Kray: Huge Kylie Fan

INSIDE Broadmoor brought back memories of the times I visited Ronnie Kray in there.
He was a huge Kylie Minogue fan and begged me to bring her along.
I’m one of the few people alive who have heard I Should Be So Lucky sung by Ron Kray.
He had a terrible voice. But even Simon Cowell wouldn’t have dared tell him so.

Daily Star TV critic, Garry Bushell.

Oh let this be true.
You can always trust Gazza, can't you?

PS Only just saw this on their site, but simply had to share!

X Factor: Charles Hawtrey, You Owned That Stage!

Johnny Robinson sings Can't Get You Out Of My Head.
God help us if there's a war!
Sung to a "boy", and no-one bats an eyelid.
Then makes a pass at Gary Barlow.
And everyone thinks it's a hoot.
Dat's progress.

YouTube comment: "jesus how gay can he get!!!!!!! just 2 ask was he anerexic cuz his face looks like skull!! what da fuck does louis thinjk wen he picks his acts first two twin dickheads than an fuckin brazilian pedophile now dis queer !! no offence" - Mr101Thomas

No offence taken, sir!

Kylie: All Of Me Loves All Of You

I was trying to think of something funny to say about this interview with Kylie in The Mail On Sunday, but then I thought I love you - and you gave me an autograph for my friend Anthony.
He was so thrilled he got it framed and made a shrine.
Thank you, you're wonderful.

Mike Stock: Pop As Pornography

"Pop music in this country is almost completely dominated by American acts who have taken sexualised imagery, dance moves and lyrical content way beyond the limits of decency.
"As far as music is concerned, it has been a slow but unmistakable descent into pornography. Why? Because it's easy. Put some sexualised dancing and scantily-clad females in the video, and get it on the box. Job done..."
"Bring back pop music for young people, expose it on television and drive all this sexually explicit trash back to the stone age where it belongs."

80s has-been Mike Stock wades into the debate du jour with an open letter to Ofcom.
Hardly surprising - Mr Stock (of him, Aitken & Waterman fame) kickstarted this silly "debate" last August with this bizarre outburst;
"These days you can't watch modern stars - like Britney Spears or Lady Gaga - with a two-year-old.
"Ninety-nine per cent of the charts is R 'n' B and 99 per cent of that is soft pornography."
At the risk of repeating myself, here's what I wrote at the time explaining why Mike "Sam Fox" Stock is a hypocrite, a wanker, a fucktard and a total and utter bell-end.
The Mirror's report has just gone online and is but of course illustrated with a photo of Rihanna's crotch and two of Lady Gaga in a see-through dress.
Fagburn's favourite line?
"Stock singled out Nicole Scherzinger's performance on Britain's Got Talent (watch it in the video player below)..."
Please accept their sincerest hypocrisy.
Fuck off Mirror!
Fuck off Mike!

• Purely by happenchance Mike Stock's The Go! Go! Go! Show - "The show 4 kids" - opens at London's Garrick Theatre next month. It sounds like an absolute pile of shit.

Betty Blue Eyes: At Last!!! Musicals Just Got Gayer!

Cameron Mackintosh presents Betty Blue Eyes, a musical comedy adaptation of Alan Bennett's A Private Function by Ron Cowen and Daniel Lipman, the creators of the ace Queer As Folk USA, and starring an animatronic pig which sings in the voice of Kylie Minogue.
How could it possibly go wrong?
"Betty Blue Eyes has nothing like the charm of the original," sniffs The Sunday Times.
"There are some pretty crude comic caricatures, too... A number of scenes are turgid or pointlessly camp."
Camp - Boo!
"A let-down... the evening left me disgruntled," chimed in The Independent.
The Daily Mail begged to differ; 'This Porker Is A Corker!'
For once The Guardian found itself in agreement with the Mail; "Witty and delightful...sucessfully brings home the bacon."
And The Times was even more enthusiastic; "A new smash musical is born: witty, rude, lovable, warm, dramatic, hilarious."
Blimey. Oink oink!

Pride London: Especially For You

It wasn't only our own Pride London gathering coverage in the British media this week.
So did Madrid Pride, also held on Saturday 3rd.
Not because of that hoo-ha over Queers Against Israeli Apartheid, but because the headline act was Kylie, who by a happy coincidence also had a new album released on Monday.
Even so, she's a dream Pride headline act for many a queen, and quite a catch.
So who was headlining on the main stage at Pride London?
On their website and magazine they announced breathlessly; "returning this year as the closing headliner, this is the one act you can't afford to miss..."
Who? Who could it possibly be?
The DE Experience.
If you're still going "Who?", The DE Experience is a drag act who does an impression of Dame Edna Everage.
That was the headline at Pride London.
There were also the usual gamut of self-styled "Divas" - meaning other acts whose next gig is also probably next Tuesday at a gay club playing to three men and a chihuahua; Sonique, Kym Mazzelle, Tameka (?), and The Freemasons Featuring Amanda Wilson - or, technically, Amanda Wilson probably not featuring The Freemasons and singing along to a CD-R.
There's also what are effectively free ads for West End musicals (Wicked, Hair), two gay choirs (LGMC, Pink Singers), a minor ABBA tribute act (The FabbaGirls) and some bloke who used to be in Phixx.
Even with a meagre budget - and even if the number attending is closer to 50,000 than "a million" - Pride London must be able to offer something better than The DE Experience and Same Difference - "a singing sensation who came to the fore when they placed third in the X Factor in 2007".

Kylie Love Madrid Pride Long Time

If The Independent are going to run wire stories, it might be an idea to find one that's not badly translated back into English.
Or did Kylie Minogue - pictured above, on K - actually say; "I am really very touched. For a long time now I have had a special relationship with the gay public and I am pleased that they are counting on me to celebrate such a special occasion."