Ivan Massow Watch: Hello!?

The nursery is painted pristine white and a simple cream-coloured cot sits waiting in a corner. ‘I suppose it really should be blue, now we know it’s a boy,’ says the anxious father-to-be. ‘But I’ve left all that up to the mother.’

He has dutifully attended hospital scans and antenatal classes and plans to be in the delivery room for the birth of his first child next month.

Nothing extraordinary here, you might think. But this is hardly your typical expectant dad. This is Ivan Massow, multi-millionaire gay political activist and prospective Tory candidate for Mayor of London next year...

From a predictably positively glowing at-home-with profile in The Mail On Sunday.

Ivan Massow - the smug grinning twatface of heteronormative gay conformity today.

Note how his main pitch to be mayor is; ‘I’m not your typical politician. I take the Tube.'

ie He is so out of touch he thinks ordinary Londoners will be impressed that he (sometimes) uses the tube.

Mind you, everyone knows he travels everywhere on horseback.

Go on parrot, do your stuff!