"One in three saucy Britons has had sex in public, a cheeky survey has revealed," The Sun cuts and pastes from a press release from some satellite TV channel.
"And despite the nippy weather up north, folk in Yorkshire and Humberside - home of the Humber Bridge - are most likely to have a lark in the park."
Phwoar!!! etc etc
Oh, hang on - doesn't The Sun usually say this sort of thing will "cause dismay for families living near parks plagued by sex pests and perverts"?!
Oh no - that's just when gay men do it.
Like when "troubled pop idol George Michael" is caught having a late night lark in a park - then it's not "saucy" and "cheeky", but "sordid and seedy".
Please accept my sincerest hypocrisy.
As you were.
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