Christianity: And Did Those Feet In Ancient Time...

I don't care about you, but I think The Bible is the nuttiest book ever written by man, woman or ox.
You don't believe me?
Here's an - apparently quite serious - discussion from Beliefenet.com about how when it says "feet" in The Bible they actually mean... cocks.
I know - you couldn't make it up...

Question from woman who's so "Christian" she's probably sectionable; "In Genesis 9:18-25, Noah is drunk, and uncovered in his tent. Ham sees him and sends in his two brothers to cover him up. Then Noah awakes and curses Ham's son Canaan. Why does Noah curse Canaan, who wasn't involved in any of the previous doings?" --keltik1

Reply from an equally in no way mad Christian nutter scholar; "When some sexual matter is a subject of conversation in the Old Testament, a euphemism or a figure of speech is often used to refer to the matter. Thus, for example, the term foot/feet is sometimes used to refer to the male genitals (for example, when the Old Testament refers to Saul going into a cave and uncovering his foot). The phrase 'uncover or look on the nakedness' of someone usually indicates some kind of sexual assault. This would explain why Noah was so angry about "what Ham had done to him." Ham had shamed him by a homosexual act when he was drunk. If we compare this to Gen. 6.1-4, we can see how severe the judgments could be for sexual aberrations. It was not uncommon in antiquity to judge someone by placing a curse on their descendents, not least because it was believed that the only way one lived on beyond death was in one's children. All these factors are in play in this text."

I hope that's cleared that up.
Well done Christians everywhere!