Hello!: Goodbye!

Now I don't care know about you, but there's nothing that fills me with such utter and unadulterated joy as someone offering to show me their new baby photos.

Pink Parenting: Niche Marketing

Fagburn's heart sank a little on seeing the legend splashed across The Independent's front page today;
'I'm The Daddy! How Gay Parenting Went Mainstream'
accompanied by a photo of Sir Elton John holding up baby Zach.
I wish them and Mr Furnish well, of course, but was dreading seeing another puff-piece on gay celebs and their sprogs.
Despite the illustration used (above) Glad To Be Gay Parents (inventive title!) the article did try to touch on some of the issues/problems lesbian and gay parents might encounter - suffogacy, adoption, schools, stigma... - but of course could only really touch on them.
The hook to The Independent running this is the alunch of a new bi-monthly magazine, Pink Parenting.
It's a sign of the times - and in more ways than one.
Nowadays lesbian and gay magazines are essentially about trying to find a niche market to sell to advertisers.
Debuting next month Pink Parenting promises; "everything you need to start a family from surrogacy options, adoption and the legal aspects of being a modern family to what's the best stroller out there on the market."
Which sounds like it could be heavy on the adverorial...
"Unlike many other gay magazines, our demographic is LGBT couples between the age of 30 to 45 that are more interested in modern day life and having a family then the gay club scene."
Currently a small demographic, but a wealthy one, of course.
I'm still now convinced, it'll be viable - even if it just continues online only.
Remember all those "gay weddings" companies that started-up a few years back?
Congratulations!

Eastenders: Bandwagonesque Earwax

"EASTENDERS has filmed yet another emotional wedding proposal – but this time there is a difference.
"In scenes to be screened next month teary Christian Clarke gets down on one knee and asks Syed Masood to marry him.
"Insiders at the BBC soap say bosses are now planning the programme’s first gay wedding which could be the show’s 'big event of the summer'.
"The EastEnders source added: 'Christian and Syed have had a colourful and controversial relationship in Albert Square from day one. Syed felt torn between his Muslim faith and how he felt in his heart.
“He went ahead with his marriage to Amira despite telling his mum about his feelings for Christian – and those feelings have not gone away.'
"EastEnders chiefs are also discussing the possibility that if the marriage is well received, the couple will follow in the footsteps of Sir Elton John and partner David Furnish by having a baby with the help of a surrogate mum.
"The source added: 'If everything goes ahead, Christian and Syed will be the biggest stars on the soap providing some happy news after the baby swap storyline which went down so badly with viewers.'"

I'm loving that last line - this is from The Daily Mirror, by the way.
The Mirror seems to have forgotten it announced Christian and Syed were to become gay dads in January.
Their ever reliable "Eastender's source" said; "Christian and Syed having a baby together will be the biggest storyline on the soap this year."
Make up your mind, love.
Is Fagburn alone in being reminded of the script meeting in The Making Of Acorn Antiques?
"Let's box a wee bit dangerous here. I'm talking off the top of my hairdo, but let's really go for it - earwax! It's never been tackled before, it's an issue, it's health... Suppose Berta gets earwax. No, she finds a syringe."

Elton John's Baby Watch: Another "Exclusive"

Don't you hate it when someone's just become a parent and they won't stop showing everyone photos of their baby?

The Gay Press: Off The Shelf?

Most UK and US media loved the story about the single US store that covered up the copy of US magazine with Elton and David and child on their front cover.
Even The Daily Mail sensed; 'Outrage as picture of Elton John's baby is covered with shield by U.S. supermarket to 'protect children'
Can't happen here!
Really?
Whoops, looks like everyone forgot there is a campaign group in the UK dedicated to hiding away gay magazines - and any gay imagery - behind a similar "family shield", and who ultimately want it all to be "Off the shelf".
The Front Page Campaign - currently getting some lovely uncritical/unthinking coverage in The Guardian and elsewhere.
Hail the new Puritans!
Be interesting to find out if any journalist on a gay magazine rises from their slumber and notices that some people are working towards their demise...

Please read this: Feminists Against Censorship

Elton John & David Furnish: The Abbreviated Interview

The conversation rarely strays from the touchstone and hearth of gay. It’s not assertive or proselytising, it’s not defensive or a performance, it is just the foundation of who they are together. I defy anyone not to be 40% camper around them. Homosexuality isn’t contagious, but it is infectious...

“All the stuff they write, it’s such crap! That we’ve had a designer in to do the nursery — nonsense. That there are half a dozen nannies — we have one nanny. That we’ve spent thousands on clothes and toys. Rubbish — all you need is a couple of Babygros and a lot of muslin. Friends are being really great, giving us hand-me-down stuff.”

The Sunday Times photographer is here, and Elton and David go to hair and make-up.
Returning suited and polished, they stand together and smile, and despite the art and the setting, it is what’s familiar that you notice. A married couple, fond and awkward, posing for a snap.

• AA Gill profiles proud new parents, Elton John and David Furnish, for The Sunday Times, 'And Then There Were Three'
They are promoting their new film, Gnomeo & Juliet; "It’s an animated retelling of Romeo and Juliet, but told by garden gnomes."

Gay Dad Watch: Now Ewan McGregor's Got One

It really is the gay cliche of 2011 - and it's still only January.
Ewan McGregor plays a bloke who finds out his dad is as gay as a lorry in new movie, The Beginners, released this summer.
The gay dad is played by Christopher Plummer - though judging by the trailer he's so fruity even Helen Keller would have guessed.
Today it's the turn of The Times to run loads of articles about gay dads; 'The Struggle To Be Gay Parents In The UK' and 'We Used The Same Surrogacy Clinc As Elton John'
Exciting!

Elton John's Baby: Cover Up

Fagburn loved this story about an American store, Harps, covering up the cover of the US Weekly issue starring Elton John, David Furnish and their baby.
Sadly they've now caved into the gay lobby and announced it only happened in one store and the aptly named "family shields" have now been removed.
It's political correctness gone mental!

Gay Dads: Some Advice For Elton John

"If I have one piece of advice for Elton John and his husband it would be this: If you think all your money will protect your son from prejudice, then think again. One day some kid will say to your son, 'I don't like you because your dad's gay'. That will hurt. A lot."

The Sun surprises us with two quite moving interviews with a gay dad and his son, Steve and Matt Williams.
Yup, Gay Dads is shaping up to be the gay story/press cliche of 2011...

OK Magazine: Elton John's Baby

But what would Stephen Green say?

Elton John: Hated By The Daily Mail

Fagburn has been wondering how long it will be before we saw Mr Elton John threaten legal action against some of the grim press coverage on his son by surrogate pregnancy, Zachary.
The not-so subtle subtext of which is often; how can we let a pervert bring up a baby?
The Daily Mail should consider themselves lucky - no law suit, but an official statement regarding a piece in The Daily Mail - 'Elton's Rocketing Army Of Staff For Zac Increases By Rockets By Half' - has appeared on Elton John's Facebook page;
"Some reports about Elton are based upon stupidity of the reporter. Other reports are based upon prejudice. Sometimes, as with the latest article in the Daily Mail today, reports are based upon both stupidity and prejudice.
"The Daily Mail claims that Elton's staff went from 14 to 22 between 2008 and 2010 and implies that the increase is due to arrangements being made for the birth of Zachary. This claim has now been picked up and distorted by others on the internet...
"The article is yet another piece of pathetic journalism by a newspaper with a continuing agenda against Elton."
Read the statement in full here.
Elton John is famously litigious over inaccurate press coverage.
And Fagburn sees the media feeding frenzy over Elton's baby all ending in tears - and in court...

Things Fagburn Has Already Had Enough Of In 2011

Articles about gay celebrity dads.
Barf.

EDIT: Eastenders Bosses Plan Gay Surrogacy Storyline - The Daily Mirror. Here we go...

Fagburn Awards: Gay Uncle Tom Of the Year - NEWSFLASH!

UPDATE: Cometh the hour, cometh the gay cunt.
Today in the Daily Mail we get a rancid opinion piece headlined;
'The Mail's ANDREW PIERCE is both adopted and gay. But that doesn't stop him saying... Why I'm repelled by Elton and his partner's grotesque selfishness'

Fagburn's original commendation now follows;
It's The Daily Mail's anti-gay pet gay snoot queen, Andrew Pierce.
Two pieces of pissy Miss Pierce's gay uncle tomfoolery stood out this year;
'Why I, as a gay man, abhor these TV queens'
and 'Why I, as a gay man, agree with the Pope - Harriet Harman's equality mania only promotes intolerance'
Yup, those are the actual titles in the Mail.
Fuck off, Andrew.

Fagburn Awards 22: Anti-Gay Christian Bigot Most Likely To Be Caught Up In A Gay Sex Scandal in 2011

It's gotta be Stephen Green, nutter-in-chief of Christian Voice.

The BBC got Green on the 6 O'Clock News to comment on Elton John's baby - in the name of "balance".
The BBC did the same thing last year in a Newsnight report about the homophobic murder of Ian Baynham.
Well done the BBC! Another winner...

Fagburn Awards 16: Quote of the Year

It was very nearly Supreme Court judge Lord Rodger's much misquoted and (deliberately) misunderstood line about gay asylum seekers and "Kylie and cocktails", but...
Fagburn makes no apologies for choosing this below from today's edition of The Guardian from the ever brilliant Zoe Williams as Quote of the Year.
It says much about these times - and rather handily also keeps you up to speed on the only news story of this last week: To Elton and David a child...It may be a bit over the top, but hey, technically it's still Christmas.

"What's amazing is that the people who do deride the Furnish-Johns on the basis of age and lifestyle, the people who are wondering whether this baby is an "accessory" (because they're gay, and gays are only interested in handbags) are so outnumbered by those who don't. Almost nobody in the mainstream is decrying Elton John's age, because without a subtext in which we all disapprove of his lifestyle, it wouldn't make sense. It has no engine, it would sound vindictive. So even the hoariest old traditionalists rejoice at the tidings. Homophobia might not be dead, but we're seeing the final twitches of its rodent bones; it's slowly turning into one of those things only children do. It's quite a moment. And on Christmas Day!"

Zoe Williams, The Guardian, Rejoice at Elton's News. And That Homophobia Is Dying
The Guardian's media analyst Roy Greenslade looked at how other newspapers reacted to the news here.

• The Babies Go Elton John CD shown is available in a couple of good record shops. Probably.