Eastenders: Bandwagonesque Earwax

"EASTENDERS has filmed yet another emotional wedding proposal – but this time there is a difference.
"In scenes to be screened next month teary Christian Clarke gets down on one knee and asks Syed Masood to marry him.
"Insiders at the BBC soap say bosses are now planning the programme’s first gay wedding which could be the show’s 'big event of the summer'.
"The EastEnders source added: 'Christian and Syed have had a colourful and controversial relationship in Albert Square from day one. Syed felt torn between his Muslim faith and how he felt in his heart.
“He went ahead with his marriage to Amira despite telling his mum about his feelings for Christian – and those feelings have not gone away.'
"EastEnders chiefs are also discussing the possibility that if the marriage is well received, the couple will follow in the footsteps of Sir Elton John and partner David Furnish by having a baby with the help of a surrogate mum.
"The source added: 'If everything goes ahead, Christian and Syed will be the biggest stars on the soap providing some happy news after the baby swap storyline which went down so badly with viewers.'"

I'm loving that last line - this is from The Daily Mirror, by the way.
The Mirror seems to have forgotten it announced Christian and Syed were to become gay dads in January.
Their ever reliable "Eastender's source" said; "Christian and Syed having a baby together will be the biggest storyline on the soap this year."
Make up your mind, love.
Is Fagburn alone in being reminded of the script meeting in The Making Of Acorn Antiques?
"Let's box a wee bit dangerous here. I'm talking off the top of my hairdo, but let's really go for it - earwax! It's never been tackled before, it's an issue, it's health... Suppose Berta gets earwax. No, she finds a syringe."