Things I Learnt Over The Weekend

I've had a cold. Looks like I didn't miss much.

1. The Guardian still can't get enough of John Waters.
Superfreak made his third appearance in The Guardian/Observer in a fortnight.
This week he's explaining What I See In The Mirror.
Answer; the body of a junky and Little Richard's moustache.
I think the thing I like most about John Waters is how he revels in bad behaviour - his own and other peoples' - and he never ever apologises.
Unlike some more stately homos...

2. Elton John is the nation's favourite scratched record.
On Piers Meets Elton, a royal command performance of sorts, Sir Elton of John wibbles on about My Drugs Hell.
Again.
I guess it takes a special kind of talent to make taking shedloads of drugs sound boring.
Forgive him great British public for he has sinned...

3. Channel 4's The House That Made Me is the new mea culpa for "troubled" gay stars.
Boy George was on it this week.
It's Michael Barrymore on Thursday.
Both once much loved working-class lads from that London who've been in a spot of bother and are desperately seeking rehab with the great British public by showing off their roots.
Boy George mused; "I'm basically a gay version of my dad.”
Gor blimey, luvaduck, apples 'n' pears, 'ave a banana!
The one thing they won't talk about is the one thing on everyone's mind; the house that ruined them.
Rachel Cooke reviewed the bad Boy George in the New Statesman; "It's hard to be surprised by anything George-related these days. It's only a couple of years, after all, since the bizarre episode that led to his conviction for falsely imprisoning a male escort. The escort in question, who eventually escaped into the street in his underpants, was Norwegian - a detail that has for some reason stuck in my mind like glue."

4. Matt Lucas isn't a bundle of laughs.
And like Boy George and Barrymore, there is one place we aren't allowed to go.
A prickly Lucas is interviewed inThe Observer Magazine.
His camp straight (comedy) partner, David Walliams, fields most of the questions.
"I make what seems a harmless enough inquiry about Lucas and he fires back that, should I report any details in this article, "I would caution you from a legal perspective right now... that you run the risk of being on the end of a lawsuit."'

5. If you are a grumpy old queen, as Quentin Crisp might have said, then turn being a grumpy old queen into your style.
The Daily Mail wonders; Who'll Save Dun Sulking: Ted Heath's home reveals an unexpected side to Britain's grumpiest PM - so why does it face being sold off?'
Apparently he never married.
"There are photographs of his devoted parents and his brother, John, but no clues as to any lady friend who might have cracked this sturdiest of bachelor hearts..."
This stately (alleged) homo's stately home sounds like the world's grandest confirmed bachelor pad.
"He had no immediate family but that is precisely why his home is such a treasure. Instead of leaving it be carved up by relatives, he left it all in a charitable trust — ranging from gifts from Mao Tse-Tung to the moneybox his father made him as a child."
So if you can't be a national treasure, then leave one to the nation.