Arts News: God Hates Facts

From a blog about LA street art, Melrose and Fairfax.

London Mayoral Election: You've Got To Do Gay Hustings If You Want To Get Along

"Stonewall is to host the London Gay Mayoral Hustings on 14 April, allowing the capital’s lesbian, gay and bisexual voters to ask candidates from the four main parties in London about their policies before the mayoral election on 3 May. The Hustings will be held at BFI Southbank from 11.00am to 12.30, and will be attended by Boris Johnson, Jenny Jones, Ken Livingstone and Brian Paddick..."

Stonewall blurb.
Why not pop along if you've got nothing better on that Saturday?
And, if you live in that London, don't forget to vote for Ken.

Update: Independent On Sunday go on the campaign trial with Brian Paddick. They don't seem too enthusiastic about him or his chances. The Lib Dems famously lost their deposit in Bradford on Thursday...

Jobriath: Non Star

Marc Almond writes in The Guardian about Jobriath; "The first gay pop star".
Though, as Marc writes, Jo's "career" was such an epic failure, calling him a "star" may be pushing it a bit.
I love Jobriath - though the records are hilariously bad, that's why no-one bought them - and his singing voice was so painful I doubt even his own mother could maintain the pretence of loving it.
I'm not convinced his sexuality came into it.
A compilation put out by fanboy Morrissey a few years ago is reputed to have sold 40 copies.
I also love Marc, but his claim; "Everyone hated Jobriath – even, and especially, gay people. He was embarrassingly effeminate in an era of leather and handlebar moustaches" is just silly.
Jobriath appeared a few years before the clone look took hold - which was never something embraced by most gay men - and when it appeared Jo embraced it.
Someone is writing a biography of Jobriath - almost finished it then lost it all in a computer crash.
Argh.
There's a documentary - Jobriath AD - at the London Lesbian And Gay Film Festival tomorrow.
All sold out, but that may have less to do with interest in Jobriath, and more to do with the LL&GFF being one big pick-up joint for posh arty gaylords.

Update: The Guardian repeated the fiction that "the gay community despised the "sissy" look" in an online review of the film. Doubtless this will be appearing as "fact" on Wikipedia soon.

Psychic TV: Godstar

I see myself as a child of the Enlightenment, rational and that, but Genesis and PTV and TOPY have magick powers you may never understand.
Oh, the stories I could tell...
Please save me.

Ziggy Stardust: Still

The plaque to Ziggy Stardust on London's Heddon Street is being unveiled today.
Staring at this record sleeve as a kid always gave me a thrilling sense of otherness, like there was another world out there, maybe waiting just around the corner.
A sea of im/possibilities.
Still does.
Never a big fan of the heritage rock industry, me, but something about this still moves me. 
Still.

Update: The unveiling leads to John Walsh remember being a teenage Ziggy fan in The Independent.
Gets kudos for not mentioning his first sighting of Ziggy on Old Grey Whistle Test/Top Of The Pops and wibbling on about how life was instantly transformed...

Kris Birch: Totally Different Me

Remember, Kris?
He was in the papers last year claiming that after having a stroke he went from being a "typical, ­laddish, beer-swilling, sport-mad 20-something smitten with his fiancee", and became a complete gaylord hairdresser.
Well if you say so, whom am I to question?
Though he appears to have only recently started spelling Chris with a K, which suggests he may really be a recent convert to queenery.
Anyway, now he's done something for BBC3.
Enjoy!

The Gay Media: Mission Impossible

Good evening gentlemen of the gay media,

Your mission - should you choose to accept it - is to reprint any old crap you Googled and saw on The Sun and the Daily Mail's website without even bothering to question or check its veracity.
Remember - reprinting lies is your main mission.
Press releases are also a great source of entertaining fictions. 
Right-wing hegemony and institutional stupidity must be defended at all times.
It's what keeps the world going round.
Avoid trying to search out the truth - this is not a journalist's job.
And let it never cross your mind; "Why is this lying bastard lying to me?"

Cause if you read it in a paper or heard a politician say it, it's gotta be true - right?

Don't worry no-one will question you, either, they'll just say; "But I read it on a gay website."
Your job is to be a servant of power.
Thank you for helping to keep the world fucked off its axis.

This blog will self-destruct in five seconds.

Cunts For Marriage: Commercial Break

Do you really want all these gorgeous happily-married couples to die in a terrible fire, screaming in pain as they think about all their unfulfilled dreams which you - yes YOU - have personally ruined?
Cause that's what'll happen if they let THE GAYS marry.
Don't say I didn't warn you!!!
 
• With thanks to Political Animal for the tip-off. x

PS This banner ad has appeared on websites and blogs today.
The claim they make that "70% of people say keep marriage as it is" is a lie, and not backed up by any reliable recent survey.
Here's why the poll they refer to is junk.
Please send complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority.

The Sugar Dandies: Coupling

Many homosexualists were thrilled to see this gay-married couple ballroom dancing on Britain Gets Talent over the weekend.
And their lovey-dovey chat before their turn is rather sweet, I'll grant you.
Must have made some viewers choke on their spaghetti hoops.
Still it's slightly unnerving to hear the audience sniggers under the rapturous applause and cheering.
And, as ever, it's ridiculous, that prime time TV like this featuring real-life gay people is still so rare it warrants documenting.
Hurry up, the future, we're waiting.

Breaking: Many People Working In The Theatre Are Gay Shock!

'I was caught napping yesterday when the announcement came about the RSC’s appointment of a new artistic director — literally. I’d been up since 5.30am (my usual waking time, as it happens) and had already met three deadlines by 9am, so I did something I very rarely allow myself to do: I went back to bed [Yeah, whatever - Get on with it, love].
'By the time I woke up again around 11.22am, saw the press release and tweeted it (hence the precision with which I know what time I woke up!), the RSC was already trending on Twitter: that says something about the viral strength of Twitter as a medium for spreading news. [Gregory] Doran, of course, was the main rival to Michael Boyd getting the job last time around; and it is greatly to the credit both of Boyd in appointing him Chief Associate Director instead, and to Doran himself in staying on undaunted by the disappointment, that his turn has come now.

'His loyalty and determination have obviously finally paid off, and the top job is now his; he’s both a safe pair of hands and has truly earned it. And it coincidentally means that both of our major national theatre companies are now run by out gay men; at the National, the two Nicks (Hytner and executive director Starr) and now Doran, who is famously partnered to RSC/National leading actor Antony Sher, are amongst a wave of gay men in charge of some of the most successful venues in the country. (Doran and Sher were one of the first couples to get civil partnered back in 2005 when the legislation allowing it first became law).
'Elsewhere, of course, there was Michael Grandage, until recently at the helm of the Donmar (whose partner is Christopher Oram, who designs many of his productions); and there is also Dominic Cooke at the Royal Court; Daniel Evans at Sheffield’s Crucible; Kerry Michael at Stratford East and Timothy Sheader at the Open Air Theatre, Regent’s Park, to name a few.
'Of course, their sexuality is secondary to their talent, and should be as unremarkable a fact of their lives as their hair colour (or even skin colour, though as I recently wrote here, that’s sometimes a remarkable fact, too, in an industry still dominated by white artistic directors). Even so, not all artistic directors are living as openly, and it’s sad that this list cannot be comprehensive.'

The Stage. 
And on that bombshell...

One Direction: Cockwatch

It's always pleasing when I see there's been a surge in traffic to Fagburn and realise it's not from people drawn to my brilliant cutting-edge political analysis, but who were just looking for mucky photos of One Direction, Jedward or Tom Daley.
Makes it all worthwhile.
So here's Zayn from One Direction checking out Louis's packet.
I would say Louis "will never marry", but I've heard they might be making that legal soon.
They're number one in the US, you know, which means this is "technically" news.
Enjoy!

Update: Mirror headline Thursday; '1D’s Louis goes out with his girlfriend, which should prove that he’s not gay and secretly going out with Harry'

Gay Marriage: Those Top 10 Journalistic Cliches In Full

1. None of my gay friends want this (Cause I don't have any).
2. Ye olde religion/tradition/children holy trinity - much loved by Robert Mugabe etc.
3. Marriage is rubbish/dying, but if the gays want to...
4. So now saying you oppose gay marriage will be a hate crime.
5. Ye very olde "If you don't like gay marriage, don't have one" increasingly unfunny gag.
6. What next incest/polygamy/animals? (Best avoid this if you're a Christian, seeing as the Bible supports incest and polygamy, as well as genocide, slavery and child rape and loads of other fun stuff. Verily, it's a moral compass which will never date).
7. Another victory for the metropolitan liberal elite.
8. It'll be Cameron's Clause 4/Poll tax/Fox hunting ban.
9. Well, hasn't [insert name of "troubled" straight celebrity] done enough to demean marriage?
10. In 20 years, people will be amazed we were even debating this.
11. Basically, I just hate poofs.
12. That's eleven.

To add to the sheer stunning unoriginality, please illustrate any article with a photo of some groom and groom cake toppers.

Jocky Wilson: 1950-2012

Jocky Wilson, who has died aged 62, was arguably Britain's best-known openly gay sportsman.
Wilson won many titles in his career including the British Professional Championship a record four times between 1981 and 1988, as well as the prestigious British Open and Matchplay titles.
He came out in an interview with Gay Times magazine in 1984, the first top darts player to do so.
Jocky - known as "Judy" to his friends - became a vocal champion of gay rights, and in 1989 founded the campaigning group, Stonewall.
He regularly hosted Mr Gay UK in his adopted home town of Leeds, and in 1986 recorded a cover of 'I Am What I Am' - now regarded as a "camp classic".
A wonderful dancer - as viewers to Strictly Come Dancing can attest - Wilson was also one of the nation's best loved pantomime dames.
Mickey Rourke is said to be working on a biopic of his life.
He is survived by his eight toy poodles - all amusingly named after his favourite Dolly Parton songs - and by his civil partner, the TV critic Garry Bushell. 

 

Danny Miller: Emmerdale Farce

"I won't miss kissing blokes. I haven't got a problem with it but I don't think I'll be reminiscing!"

Danny Miller of Emmerdale's "tortured gay teen" fame.
Mind you, this was in The Sun so he probably didn't say it. 
As you were.

Gareth Thomas: A Bang On The Head

"I was talking to Mickey yesterday and basically we're now talking to other big-name actors who could play the part instead.
"We had talked about using computer-generated special effects with Mickey but we don't think that will be as realistic, so it's time to find someone new."

Gareth Thomas quoted in The Sun (HRNK! Warning!!! May not be true alert! etc) on how Mickey Rourke has apparently pulled out of playing "the gay Welsh rugby star" in a biopic.
A film project that Fagburn has always suspected only exists in Mickey Rourke and Gareth Thomas's ever so slightly delusional heads.
Anyone heard what studio has signed it?
One is reminded of Peter Cook's retort to someone who told him they were writing a novel; "That's funny, neither am I."

Update: So it looks like this was made up. Gosh whodathunk it?

Philip Larkin: Wants

Beyond all this, the wish to be alone
However the sky grows dark with invitation cards
However we follow the printed directions of sex
However the family is photographed under the flagstaff
Beyond all this, the wish to be alone.
Beneath it all, desire of oblivion runs:
Despite the artful tensions of the calendar,
The life insurance, the tabled fertility rites
The costly aversion of the eyes from death
Beneath it all, desire of oblivion runs.

Pink Project: The Kids Are Alright

This is a few weeks old - but anyway...
1,500 kids from eleven schools in north America stand up for their gay classmates.
Managed to make even an old cynic like me get over my deep loathing of both Lady Gaga and flashmobs. 
Oh dear, I think I've got something in my eye...
I still hate pukey YouTube videos of gay wedding dances, mind.

Dahrun Ravi: Let Him Go

Hurrah for racist scapegoating about a load of crap that Ravi never did.
He never recorded it, he never broadcasted it.
But what do facts matter when vengeance calls?
There's as much evidence of Tyler Clemanti's racism as there is of Ravi's homophobia.
So they're both stupid fratboy jerks - is that a crime now?
But what the hey - let's make ourselves feel better by ruining another young man's life - yay!

Thought For The Day: Boy George

"A bunch of us were with Boy George in New York State recently.
"My friend said to Boy George: ‘You should really support this congressman we have here because he’s anti-death penalty and pro-gay marriage.’
"Boy George replied: ‘Aren’t they the same thing?’ ”

Rufus Wainwright in The Times.
Tee hee. 
Poor Rufus - the only interesting thing he says in an interview is someone else's gag.

The Daily Telegraph: Back On Topic

'More than 300,000 people have joined a campaign against David Cameron’s plan to legalise same-sex marriage. 'Organisers claimed that their petition had become the biggest public campaign since the 2010 election.

It highlights the support for the traditional definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman, they said.

'Earlier this month, the Government proposed redefining civil marriage laws so that the term can apply to civil unions between same-sex couples. There will be no change to religious marriage.

'Senior Conservatives, including ministers, have joined Christian leaders in opposing the proposals.

'The leader of Britain’s Sikh organisations said the proposal was an “assault on religion” while the country’s largest Muslim grouping has also voiced its opposition...'

The Daily Telegraph.
Who cares?
That's half a per cent of the UK population - even if you're telling the truth, which is doubtful.
And 2% of British people vote BNP.
Should that determine policy?
The people who take part in these pointless online petitions are usually totally nuts far right cunts who want to bring back hanging for Muslim immigrants from the EU cause they're stopping them hunting gay foxes by coming over here and eating our swans.
Or something.
Fuck 'em. 

PS Interesting to compare and contrast all this with an online poll conducted by the Telegraph themselves. 

Yes, that's 78% for gay marriage.

The Guardian: Unbelievable

'So. I've just created my first ever scene. Well, not "just". It was six days ago, but I'm still shaking.
Buggerlugs and I were at playgroup. We've been several times, on a slightly-out-of-borough adventure. It's run by a church rather than a council, but apart from the fact there's a quick prayer at the end for the health of the babies, to which you would have to be a much more militant atheist than me to object, you can't tell.
'Until this week when, after a quick trot through the lost property and happy birthdays, came the words, "And there's also this petition to sign, against gay marriage" from the playgroup leader. And she pointed to the blue plastic clipboard she was holding...'

Lovely - yet terrible - piece by Lucy Mangan in The Guardian. 

Daily Mirror: Reade Brian And Weep

'I’m in favour of gay marriages on the grounds that those who seek to spoil the happiness of people who are harming no one are bigots who deserve to be beaten.'

Great - I'm with you so far.

'And how the Catholic church dares to moralise about the ­inappropriateness of ­homosexuality after protecting priests who raped young boys is beyond credibility.'

Bit cliched, but back of the net.

'But I mainly want them to happen after learning that if a lord or knight marries, their partner will be given the title “honourable”.'

Where's this going exactly?

'Imagine the outrage if a peer decided to come out and marry a young male prostitute, forcing us to refer to his former rent boy as “the honourable”?'

Umm, no, you've lost me...

'Outrage which would be totally unjustified as virtually every businessman who enters the Lords has prostituted themselves to a political party to gain the title.'

Crap gags make the world go round!
Well done.

The Daily Mirror's columnist Brian Reade.
Stick to the footyball, love.

The Sun: Numbskulls

The Sun have started a 'Crack The Numbskulls' campaign today.
So far it seems to involve anti-gay "pesky meddling council blooming 'elf and safety support our paid killers" nonsense.
Well done The Sun!

Daily Telegraph: Drop Dead

'Liberals of various descriptions make so much noise in British public life that it’s easy to overlook the fact that liberalism has run into deep trouble on the world stage. For an illustration, consider a joint interview given this week by Tony Blair and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, president of Liberia and Nobel Peace Prize winner.

'Mrs Sirleaf is asked about the fact that homosexuality is illegal in her country. She replies: “We like ourselves just the way we are.” Pressed on the point, she confirms that she will not sign any legislation decriminalising “sodomy”.

'Mr Blair is a champion of gay rights, so you’d expect him to take issue with this statement. Not a bit of it. “The President’s given her position, and this is not one for me,” he says.

'Here’s another interesting vignette, again involving a Labour politician, but this time on his home turf. 'This week Ken Livingstone was accused by Jewish Labour supporters of telling them at a private meeting that since Jews tended to be rich he wasn’t expecting them to vote for him. In a letter published in the Jewish Chronicle, they also accused Livingstone of using the word “Jewish” in a pejorative manner. And this just weeks after he described the Tories as “riddled with homosexuality”.

'The Ken of the 1980s was painful to listen to, but I don’t remember him dog-whistling like that. In those days he was an ultra-liberal politician, the whining incarnation of rainbow ideology. What has happened'

 

Damian Thompson, The Daily Telegraph.

It's hard to know where to start with this crapola.

So you're criticising Ken Livingstone's non-existent homophobia while defending Sirleaf's actual homophobia?

Brilliant!

Shakespeare: Mad MP Warns Of 'Romeo & Julio' Threat To The Kiddies

“If we are to re-construct official and business documentation and to replace “Husband and Wife” with “spouses” and “partners” where will this stop? Will Shakespeare and Milton and The Holy Bible be re-written also? Will only “correctly” expurgated literature be allowed to be used in the classroom?”

Sir Roger Gale MP writing in a letter to Thanet Extra.
Erm, no.
No, none of this will happen, but thanks for asking.