This is Guido’s handy flowchart of who has been bonking whom. It is by no means complete. If you woke up naked next to a Tory MP – or indeed are a Tory MP who woke up naked next to Mark Clarke – and can’t remember the night before, call Guido’s helpline on 0709 284 0531…
Guido Fawkes.
What larks!
Someone's said this could be like an advent calender, so I won't bore you with that one again.
PS With hindsight this early Telegraph profile of MC, Forget Tory Boy Conservatives Are Now Cool, is 'totes hilair'.
It also contains this gem; "When I told my mum I was joining the Conservatives 10 years ago, she said, 'Oh God, it would have been easier if you'd told me you were gay.' But that's not the case any more."
PPS Not much on Elliott Johnson's still live Twitter account to suggest he was gay, bar a light silly (gay-mocking?) joke last xmas...
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