Monday 19 December 2011

Exclusive: Kim Jong-il Takes Strictly Crown

Secretive North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, is the winner of this year's Strictly Come Dancing, Fagburn can reveal.
Kim, who is openly mad, beat his closest rival the former Czech leader, Vaclav Havel, in a phone vote.
He wowed the judges in the final round by dancing to Born This Way by Lady Gaga.
The ballroom champion said; "All I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me.
"I have had the most incredible experience. I have been on the best show on TV and I am just honoured."
The rating's-winning final was filmed at the Downton Abbey Ballroom.
Kim looked overjoyed as he was given his prize, one of those Heston Blumenthal christmas puddings with an orange in it from Waitrose.
In a figure that's completely made-up, these are now selling for as much as £4,000 on eBay.
Kim was congratulated by his civil partner, Russell Grant.
President Kim is 4'2".

• Yes, the christmas news drought continues apace...

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