TV: Secrets Of The Sauna

Good to see Channel 4 has finally got round to showing this documentary.

Is it still 'a secret world' if they let you make a film about it?

Makes gay saunas look about as 'racy' as a dead horse.

'On Sundays up to 50 men can come looking for some action...'

Though Fagburn liked its Whicker's World/Victoria Wood As Seen On TV  'swingers in suburbia' take on this.

Watch it here.

PS Patrick Strudwick reports from the last night at Chariots. A frightening thought.

TV Pick Of The Day: My Psychic Life

A fascinating look at the world's second gayest profession - highly recommended for all fans of unhinged and overbearing Northern queens!

Watch it on 4OD.

Sir Ian McKellen: The Face Of Young Gay Asian Britain

Channel 4 are to broadcast a documentary about British Muslim Drag Queens.

So how do Pink News present the story?

By bigging up the old white man who's narrating it!

As usual this is basically a rewrite of a press release - but with one change.

Channel 4 only mentioned McKellen at the very end of this.

Unbelievable.

Even the Express only mentioned Sir Ian in passing at the end.

Oh, and the programme was basically hijacked from Kieran Yates, whose idea it was, by a bunch of white dudes in TV Land.

Thanks to Tom x

The Sauna: Working Title

CS2.

Update: This was meant to be shown in May - now cleverly called The Gay Sauna - not sure it was....

Cucumber: Homosexual Drama

Channel 4 are launching another homosexual-themed series that is likely to stir up controversy 15 years after gay drama Queer as Folk hit the airwaves.

Queer as Folk writer Russell T. Davies has created a new three-strand show that will be broadcast next year.

Cucumber marks a return to homosexual drama for Davies who apart from Queer as Folk and Bob & Rose was responsible for the revamp of Doctor Who although some fans and critics thought that the not always hidden gay themes in the sci-fi show were too much its audience of children.

Cucumber, described by Channel 4 boss Jay Hunt as 'channel-defining', tells the story of gay life across the generations and stars Vincent Franklin, who was PR Stewart Pearson in The Thick of It.

Franklin plays Henry Best, a 40-something gay man, who is splitting up from his boyfriend but is attracted to a younger man played by Freddie Fox, the son of Edward Fox, the actor.

Henry Best ends up sharing a house with a number of young men and in one episode shouts: 'We all live together in a great big gay house, being gay!'

After Cucumber has finished, viewers can switch to E4 for the second strand Banana while the third Tofu will be on the station's website and will tell the stories of 'ordinary people'.

Piers Wenger, Channel 4's head of drama, claimed that Cucumber was 'amazingly warm, incredibly funny and beautifully written.

'In a drama looking at the details of people's sex lives, whether gay or straight people, of course you are required to bust taboos or ask probing questions. There's no doubt people will find it challenging but it's asking intelligent questions in an original way.'Daily Mail.

Is English your first language?

PS Oddly the Mail forgot to include this line from Jay Hunt; 'We wouldn't be Channel 4 if we weren't planning to lightly outrage the Daily Mail.'

Here's the blurb from Channel 4 - it will be broadcast in 'winter', they add helpfully.

Channel 4: Can We Just Not?

This country doesn't need gay marriage, it needs a class war.

With guns.
To shoot grinning poshgays and their patronising 'straight allies' like this. 

Our Gay Wedding: Oh FFS Can Someone Make This Stop!!!

From many others, we will hear a parade of clichés. "More car-crash telly!" "Not all gay men like musicals." "Musicals are rubbish." "Why would people want to do something so private and solemn in front of two million viewers?"

So why are we sharing our special moment with the world? It's simple. This isn't a musical about our wedding, this is a musical that we have written together about the importance of 29 March, 2014, which happens to feature our wedding.

The Independent.

BARF!

Our Gay Wedding: The Musical

On Saturday 29th March 2014, same-sex marriage will become legal in England and Wales and Channel 4 is marking this historic milestone by offering viewers front row seats at one of the first gay weddings. But this will be an extraordinary ceremony in more ways than one. Grooms Benjamin Till and Nathan Taylor are writing and staging their entire wedding as a musical – with sung vows, sung readings and show-stopping ensembles featuring the whole congregation of family, friends and special guests.

Stephen Fry will introduce and commentate on Our Gay Wedding: The Musical, which will also feature appearances and songs from some very special surprise guest stars and showbiz legends plus messages sung and spoken from around the world.

This extraordinary TV musical is not only a celebration of Benjamin and Nathan’s relationship, but also bears witness to a major step forward for gay rights that will see more personal parts of the service interwoven with songs about the historical journey to this point, tributes to the other gay and lesbian couples getting married at the first opportunity and reminders of the struggles faced by those in countries where homosexuality is still a crime.

Channel 4.

A musical gay wedding hosted by Stephen Fry!
What's not to dislike?

Russia: More Patronising Shit From Ver Liberal Elite

Because only putting a rainbow-coloured letter in your corporate logo can set us free...

The Guardian.

Warning: Rather predictably this naff, unfunny fillum contains leading gaybores and nonsense-machines Stephen Fry and Saint Peter Tatchell.

New Statesman Twitter account.

Update: Why rainbows are taking over Twitter - Guardian Technology. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Channel 4: Rebranded

I give up!

Here's their ad - I'd maybe find it funny if this torrent of crap didn't make me want to punch a pony.



Oh capital, please leave my gay bones alone!

PS On the plus side, it's worth noting this is a representation of a gay man in the mainstream meeja which is not a twink, a muscleboy or a theatrical old queen. Brava!

PPS 'On Friday evening, Greek-yogurt maker Chobani released on Twitter an image of stacked yogurt cups representing the colors of the rainbow with the tagline “Naturally Empowering Everyone.” Huffington Post. 

You really could not make this shit up!
Go Team USA!
Huff Post seem to run rather a lot of posts about the wonders of this Greek yogurt. #innocentface.

Update: B Smeaton in A Thousand Flowers at this patronising PR as "PRotest". Thanks to Eurovicious. x
See also Another Angry Woman blog; "And for fuck's sake, no I'm not going to sign your fucking petition."

Hunted: Mentioned In Dispatches

Emotionally potent over-simplifications, devoid of cultural and political context, make great TV!
This Dispatches programme was basically pornography.
Hope you had a good emotional/literal wank.
These attacks preceded the new "propaganda" law.
Those who carry them out are hunted and then prosecuted - here's one from Monday.
Obviously no gay man in the USA has recently been killed in a hate crime - which is a bit worse than being pissed on.
Though it's usually about 25-30 men a year.
Why not make a shocking Channel 4 documentary about that?

The Truth Behind The Gay Torture Images From Russia - Scott Long.

Russell T Davies: Cucumber!

"I once read about a scientific institute which had studied the male erection. It divided the hard-on into four categories, from soft to hard. One, tofu. Two, peeled banana. Three, banana. And four, cucumber. Right there and then, I knew I had my drama. And it's a joy to be back with Channel 4 and RED, to tell these stories."

Russell T Davies, from an exciting Channel 4 press release.

Great.

We've been promised these by RTD for Hung-Like-A-Donkey's Years.

He's been talking about doing something on older gay men ever since the end of Queer As Folk, and firmed things up way back in 2007.

First it was with the BBC, then Hollywood, blah blah, stuck in development hell. 

Anyway should be with us late next year.

So you can keep your ruddy Dr Who 50th anniversary specials and your Amercian "dramedy", Looking!

This image is from the Mirror. >>>

And seeing as they've just ripped off the press release, as did everyone else in medialand, I will too.

"Fifteen years after Queer As Folk exploded on to the screen, award-winning writer Russell T Davies is back with Cucumber and Banana – two new drama series for Channel 4 and E4 exploring the passions and pitfalls of 21st century gay life. Tofu, a factual web series, is an anarchic online guide to sex inspired by the dramas each week."

Cucumber - an 8 X 60’ series for Channel 4 - follows 46 year old Henry and his long-suffering boyfriend Lance. Life for Henry and Lance is comfortable and settled. But after the most disastrous date night in history - involving a death, a threesome, two police cars and the Glee Christmas Album - Henry's old life shatters, and his new life begins.

On E4, Banana (8 X 30’) follows the lives of characters orbiting around Henry in Cucumber. From young lesbian Scotty's first love, to 19 year old Dean's mysterious family secrets, Banana covers 50 shades of gay, and beyond.

With the same ferocious wit, startling honesty and heartfelt warmth that made Queer As Folka landmark series, Cucumber and Banana will explore the heartbreak and joy of modern sex lives - from gay to straight, and anything in between.* 

Tofu, meanwhile, extends the experience online with eight factual episodes navigating the landscape of 21st Century sex in its own inimitable way. Offering real people the chance to share their unique stories of sexual experiences, Tofu is an anarchic and entertaining look at sex.

* The Mirror put this in quotes and began; "An insider revealed..." 

Journalism!

Sex Box: Ban This Opaque Filth!

A new television show will feature couples having sex in a sound-proofed box in a television studio with audience and then being interviewed about it afterwards.
Three couples, two straight and one gay, will take turns to step into the opaque box before being quizzed about what they got up to by host Mariella Frostrup and a panel of sex experts.
Makers of the show, called Sex Box, claim that the programme, which will air on Channel 4, is intended to 'reclaim sex from pornography'.

The first couple to use the 'sex box' for the pre-recorded, hour-long show, which will air on October 7, is 20-somethings Rachel and Dean. They will be followed by Matt and John, who are in a long-term relationship, and childhood sweethearts Lynette and Des.
The couples, whose time in the box will not be filmed, will speak to a panel including television sex expert Tracey Cox, relationship expert Dan Savage, and psychotherapist and author Phillip Hodson.
Cox said: 'The Box itself is a unique way to get peoples' attention and to recognise that sex is a normal part of all our lives and something we need to be talking about openly and honestly.'

Daily Mail.

It says something - and is a more than a bit worrying - that the Mail reports this news so matter-of-factly, when it's bringing out Fagburn's inner Mary Whitehouse.
If Sex Box helps British people stop being quite so prudish and hung-up and fucked-up about sex, great.
But Fagburn suspects the thinking behind commissioning this was not to help the nation shake off its sexual chains, and begin the long walk to erotic freedom.
It's more that they know people - lots of people - will watch it just because they hope to see some shagging (albeit opaquely).*
It's more of a sign of our continuing collective sexual repression and alienation, than liberation, what Herbert Marcuse called repressive desublimation.
There is something seriously wrong with a country where sex induces infinitely more embarrassed giggles than it does orgasms.
Remember when the "public service broadcaster" Channel 4 used to show silly fluff in this timeslot like docudramas about Gramsci?
Or, as it would doubtless have to be pitched today, Prison Confessions Of A Red Sardinian Sex Dwarf.

Still above from The Year Of The Sex Olympics, a 1968 BBC TV film.

In a future Britain, the appetites and passions of the masses are controlled by television, with a constant stream of pornography regulating sexual desire. When audiences show signs of boredom, the 'high drive' broadcasters must find new methods to engage them...

BFI Screen Online - watch it here.

* It's hard to tell from Channel 4's preview exactly what the viewer will see; "While the talk is intimate, the couples' love-making is hidden from view, taking place in a private area where nobody but them can see what's going on: inside the Sex Box."
Presumably you will get glimpses of thrusting shadows in the opaque box, otherwise what's the point of it, when they might as well be shagging backstage or in a bedroom?

Daily Mail: Compare And Contrast

Interesting infographic on The Media Blog.
Comparing the number of complaints to the Press Complaints Commission about Jan Moir's article about Stephen Gately in the Mail with the number of complaints to Ofcom about Channel 4's Big Fat Quiz Of The Year - which has driven the Daily Mail into a predictable bat shit frenzy of manufactured outrage.
When the Mail decided this was front page news - Outrage after drunken British comedians guzzle wine and trade obscene jokes about Obama, the Queen and Susan Boyle - Ofcom had been deluged with five complaints. 
For more on this hypocritical silliness go here.

Fagburn: And In Other TV News...

Apparently there's some election thing going on in America, a far-off country of which - as is evident from reading Twitter today - we know little.
This means there is a 24-hour moratorium on reporting about any other news, but here's a few quickies from TV Land...

• D'oh! Channel 4 have apologised for editing out a non-pejorative use of the word "gay" in a repeat of The Simpsons broadcast last Sunday lunchtime.
'A spokesman said: “We always carefully consider the context in which language is used in our programming. However in this instance the episode was edited in error as neither the word nor the context was unsuitable.”' The Independent.
Daftness.
It's accompanied by a sidebar on five other famous "gay controversies", which appears to be the product of ye olde journalistic standby; "Having a quick look on Google."

Update: Here's the Telegraph's report'; 'Channel 4 has admitted to editing the word "gay" out of an episode of The Simpsons in an "overly cautious' move."'
There is of course no irony in the fact the Telegraph is the only British national newspaper whose style guide says journalists shouldn't use the word "gay". 

• ITV have now confirmed that the "gay sitcom", Vicious Old Queens, is a-happening.
This story originated in the notoriously unreliable and fantasist Daily Star Sunday, and I couldn't find one journalist who bothered to check it.
I did. Obvs. Cause I'm a saint.
Here's Media Guardian's story. And here's Guardian Online's earlier take on it - pure churnalism that, being boring, I complained to their Readers' Editor about.
This may seem trivial and petty - which I obviously am - but if even The Guardian can't take a few minutes to check a story from a trashy tabloid, then we, friends, are fucked.

• Nadine Dorries, Tory MP and mad evil homophobic witch, has been suspended from the Conservative party for ignoring her parliamentary duties and pissing off for a few well-paid weeks in Australia to take part in I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.  
Many have said they hope they keep her there.
Mad Nad's suspension may have more to do with her vocal criticisms of David Cameron And George Osborne.
And her appearance in IACGMOOH may have more to do with her being not really interested in politics, but in trying to make herself famous.
Or maybe she just likes noshing on kangaroo testicles?
As ever, never trust a politician, or a journalist for that matter, who gets off on seeing their picture in the papers or their face on TV.
Their vanity is your enemy. 

Channel 4: For Nothing

"Their [C4's] ethos had become, 'ratings are the most important thing'. Then we found the pressure was on Brookside. Although we had the Jordache [family] saga and domestic violence, what got us most attention was the lesbian kiss... we fell into the ratings trap."
"In 1982, it was very clear: Channel 4 catered for minorities and it facilitated people's ideas – they were the two key things... 30 years later: what minorities are they catering for and how are they facilitating people's ideas? That's not to say they're not doing good stuff, but they're not actually contributing anything to the social fabric. What are they doing, except just keeping themselves in a job?"

Phil Redmond - Grange Hill, Brookside and Hollyoaks creator - talking to The Independent On Sunday.
What's happened to Channel 4 is a tragedy and a travesty of what it was meant to be.
Remember Out On Tuesday, Red Triangle, Queer As Folk...
Its remit states:

The service remit for Channel 4 is the provision of a broad range of high quality and diverse programming which, in particular:

• demonstrates innovation, experiment and creativity in the form and content of programmes;
• appeals to the tastes and interests of a culturally diverse society;
• makes a significant contribution to meeting the need for the licensed public service channels to include programmes of an educational nature and other programmes of educative value; and
• exhibits a distinctive character.

Today's highlights include Beach Volleyball (Live), endless repeats of ancient US sitcoms, five repeats of Jamie's 15 Minute Meals, a magic show, Deal Or No Deal, American Football Live...

Big Fat Gypsy Weddings: I Don't

'A 16-YEAR-old gay lad who had hidden his sexuality from his parents has been outed on TV by blundering Channel 4 bosses.
'He had begged producers not to show footage of him kissing a gay traveller on Big Fat Gypsy Weddings.
'But after telly chiefs aired the clip on Tuesday, he tearfully stormed: “My parents saw it and recognised me. Now everyone knows I’m gay. I feel exploited.
“Coming out should have been my choice, not Channel 4’s.”
'The student, who has asked us to change his name to David, had feared being outed after he noticed a film crew nearby as he kissed a traveller called Mikey at the annual Manchester Pride gay rally last summer.

'When David spotted the camera team, he begged them not to use the footage and did not give permission to broadcast it.

'David said he was not “out” to his family and it would cause him huge problems.

'Producers offered to “blur” his face but he still said he did not want it aired.However, the footage was shown.

'David said his face was barely masked and added his family immediately recognised him from his haircut and pink shirt.

'Last night he said: “The last thing I wanted was to be outed on national TV.

“But that’s exactly what they have done. I am gay but I wasn’t ready to tell my family yet.

“It should have been my choice when to let them know. This is my worst nightmare come true..."

Daily Star. 
Gypsy Boy author, Mikey Walsh, was passionately tweeting about this episode after it was broadcast.
They've now been timed-out, but if memory serves he was pretty angry and felt it was very exploitative.
Some people had wondered if the gay gypsy lad was Mikey Walsh, due to the similar sounding name, Mikey Joyce.
Mikey Walsh said the producers had tried to get him on the programme, he refused, saying this (wonderful) Radio 4 interview was probably the most public thing he'll do.

Mikey is almost inevitably asked his thoughts about the earlier series, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, in interviews, and will politely point out it was about Romany Gypsies and his family are Irish travellers.

He's also made no secret that he writes under a pseudonym "out of respect for my family" and has never had his photo published. 

• Watch the episode on 4OD.

Ofcom: Fine With Alan Carr, Gok Wan Oral Sex Act

"COMIC Alan Carr's riotous New Year's Eve show will NOT be investigated by Ofcom.

"Fifty-seven viewers complained to the media regulator about the Channel 4 special, which featured full-frontal nudity and swearing.

"During Alan Carr's New Year Specstacular, fashion expert Gok Wan told Carr to "f***" off" and joked that he would not perform oral sex on the comic. Celeb chef Heston Blumenthal spoke about a strap-on sex toy, a nude picture of rapper Dappy was screened and Jonathan Ross commented on the N-Dubz star's manhood.

"But Ofcom said the show had met "generally accepted standards" for a show aired after the 9pm watershed..."

From The Sun.
Sounds a hoot.
This isn't on Ofcom's site yet - will post a link when it appears.

Playing It Straight: Gay Spotting

David Williams, Channel 4's Entertainment Commissioning Editor, says he decided to bring Playing It Straight back for a second series because - hey! - all the straight dudes are even more metrosexual than six years ago; "a generation with more buff boys with a liking for moisturiser than ever before, making the task faced by our lovely lady more tricky than ever."
What a berk.
Tonight one of the tasks designed to separate the straight men from the gay boys was how they react to having tomatoes thrown at them.
Yes, really.
Cara, "our lovely lady", who has to try and find her dream real man amongst the many marys says afterwards;
"There was things I could pick up on but they're all like your stereotypical things and I'm not going to do it like that, cause that's absolute crap nowadays.
"Like jumping round like an absolute fairy cause there's tomatoes flying at you - it doesn't mean you're gay, just means you're a massive girl."
Genius.
Fagburn wonders if people in the future will view this programme with the same sense of baffled horror as we do The Black And White Minstrel Show?
Best enjoy it while you can - I know I am.

My Transsexual Summer: The Shock Of The New

"Fancy getting sozzled tonight? Try the Trans Documentary Drinking Game, something of a transgender community in-joke. The rules are simple: for every cliche, take one shot of tequila. US writer Helen Boyd, author of My Husband Betty, lists 35 classic clangers, including: trans woman putting on makeup (two shots for reverse camera shot into mirror); showing "before" photos; any reference to genital surgery that includes "finally becoming a woman"; and anything with a trans woman sitting in an above-the-knee skirt, "posed so you can see what great gams she has". Camera in the operating room? Down the whole bottle.
"All these silly tropes appear in the first episode of My Transsexual Summer, Channel 4's new primetime reality doc. Yet MTS does have something original to offer: it gives trans people – at least seven – a voice..."

Paris Lees writing in The Guardian about My Transsexual Summer.
"The first major piece of trans-themed output since Channel 4 signed a Memorandum of Understanding with my campaign group, Trans Media Watch...
"The document suggests treating trans people with accuracy, dignity and respect. Pretty radical, huh?"
So Channel 4 has got Paris Lees, a transsexual, to work as a consultant on the series, and The Guardian asked a transsexual to write about the programme.
Do you think these crazy new-fangled ideas will catch on?

• Watch My Transsexual Summer here.