Tom Daley: Literally Raped In Service To An Ever-Expanding NATO!

Our Saint Sebastian...

Tom came fifth!
Fifth???
This is an outrage.
Although, like all of Tommy's gay fans, Fagburn has absolutely no idea how you judge a good dive, beyond how cute someone looks on the board before, and how hot they look while they're having a shower afterwards.
Is Fagburn alone in asking why the dude from Ukraine got a bronze medal?
Think about it.
This was more politically rigged than Eurovision!
Next time why not just give the gold medal straight to NATO and AmeriKKKa's military-industrial complex???
FFS!
Too upset and angry to type right now...

Our lovely Tom.

Small print: This is self-satire, so don't write in.