ABBA: That 40th International Anniversary Party In Full

What you missed!

We are in a very big room.

It is at (the) Tate Modern.

So ABBA is now your actual art.

It has some nice big photos of ABBA in.

Some queens are muttering; 'Do you think we can nick these on the way out?'

(There's not much else in here though).

This is 800 middle-aged pooves in (the) Tate Modern's Turbine Hall, basically.

Who knew this is what ABBA's hardcore fans look like!!?

Most, like me, so socially inept we couldn't even look at our own shoes without blushing.

You may eat some huge Swedish hot dog things (Vegetarian option available).

(Watching people trying to eat a huge Swedish hot dog thing is top Carry On comedy, the peak of this evening's promised 'entertainment', TBH).

But first!

The worst wedding disco DJ ever comes on and literally shits all over your golden ABBA memories.

A man from the Stockholm Chamber Of Commerce (!) or somewhere comes on and welcomes us - I wasn't really listening.

There follows a very interesting and informative presentation about business opportunities in Sweden.

[More queeny grumbly mumbling; 'Is this fucking it?']

Cut to epilepsy-inducing video of in-no-way made-up ABBA facts. eg ABBA have sold 12 billion records in Finland alone. Dancing Queen was number one in North Korea for four months etc etc etc.

[Go to the gents - it's full of gays and, quite frankly, reminds one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution].

Back.

Fagburn - Friend of the stars!

Bjorn and Frida wander onstage, they say some words of thanks, humbly.

Quite touching, akchewerelee.

Yay.

Bjorn says; 'This is the first time we have been onstage together for 32 years.'

(I don't like to be pedantic, but as a self-confessed ABBAholic, I was there last time you two were; Prince Edward Theatre, April 2004, mister).

Bjorn says; 'You may have noticed there are some mics at the front of the stage. Well, we have a surprise for you...'

[Please don't bring on a children's choir to sing 'Thank You For The Music'. Please don't bring on a children's choir to sing 'Thank You For The Music'...]

Some gays and lezzas choir came on and sing an ABBA medley.

*sigh*

So blissed out after Bjorn, and all I had was three glasses of (Swedish) wine, even this ended up quite moving.

Even though maybe a certain Swedish bird who was in the building could have at least sung a few lines!

They end by singing Dancing Queen like four times in a row or something.

Fin.

Whatever, I felt so blessed to spend an hour in the same room with Pop's uncrowned King Of Sad.

And Frida.

Couldn't be un/happier right now.

x

PS My 'friend' Peter left without saying goodbye!
But that was a bit ABBA-esque, really, and I'll forgive him anything. x

Update: He claims he went to try and get some free booze and couldn't find me. Yeah right!