Alan Carr: Just Say No!

“No way am I going to get married. I hate weddings, all of them – straight, gay and bi. They never last, it’s the kiss of death.
“You have to get them an expensive present, then you get a strict dress code, go to a castle in Scotland and two months later they say ‘me and Dave... it’s not working out, we are going our separate ways’ just as the warranty is running out on the toaster!
“Children? No, no, no. I struggle with a red setter. I am so pleased that I am not one of those gays who wants to be a father. It must be awful wanting to be a father and you just can’t. Really I can’t stand kids. Paul is the same, no way.
“My brother’s wife is having a baby so the pressure from my parents is off. I thought ‘if he is sterile I am going to get a load of pressure’. But thankfully he’s not a Jaffa.
“When I heard, I was thrilled, because I was going to be an uncle but I was also like, ‘oh good the Carr name CAN go on’. I’ve already brought enough shame on the family without halting the family tree.”

Alan Carr.
Really excellent interview by Alun Palmer in The Daily Mirror.
I've taken out the bit where it says "he squeals".
It's not homophobic.
Alan Carr does squeal.
So does Fagburn.
So does every queen.