Ann Widdecombe: Dancing Fool

Of course the really important news today is that Ann Widdecombe is going to be part of the line-up for the new series of Strictly Come Dancing.
There are some other famous people on it too, but quite frankly I can't even begin to pretend I care.
I'm a broad minded fellow though, so if "Strictly" is your sort of thing enjoy!
My point - and I do have one - is that I encounter and enjoy Ms Widdecombe on a weekly basis.
She is a star columnist on The Daily Express, and wondering what topics she'll be talking nonsense about always raises a smirk during Wednesday's trawl of the newspapers.
Today Ann was valiantly tackling her debut on Strictly ("If anyone is in need of a good laugh tune in..."), and Tony Blair's memoirs ("Every convert to the Catholic Church has to say upon reception that he or she believes all the Church teaches to be “revealed truth". How does he reconcile that with all the measures he promoted on abortion, euthanasia and homosexuality law?")
There's also something mad about climate change and one about policing that I found too confusing for words ("Whatever would Dixon of Dock Green have made of it?")
Today's centre piece in the Express is Ann's take on the William Hague "affair"; "Once it was taken for granted that two friends of the same sex were just that and there had to be good reason to presume otherwise. Now it appears the reverse is true."
Boo!
For some reason Ms Widdecombe has also written a piece for The Guardian today; 'If Only The Catholic Church Did PR'.
For why Ann? "If only it did then much of the controversy around the papal visit would fade into insignificance."
Can you guess where this is going?
"One of the biggest propaganda coups against the Catholic church in recent years has been to portray it as riddled with paedophiles whose vile activities it has sought to cover up. Apart from the occasional defensive flash when a senior churchman is wrongly accused of inaction, the church has merely apologised and asked for forgiveness.
"Well, so it should. One child abused would be one too many; but it is frustrating that the church does so little to put its role in proportion."
What, the cover ups?
"After all the dust had settled in America, 98% of priests were untouched by allegations, let alone convictions."
Only 2% of our priests have been accused of sexually abusing children - could be the Catholic church's new slogan.

• The US Catholic church's own John Jay Report put it at 4%.