ONS Gay Survey: No idea. Anyone?

Here's Rod Liddle's take on the ONS survey in The Sunday Times.
Fagburn is posting it mainly to stick it to The Man in brazen defiance of Rupert Murdoch's News Corps paywall, but also as it's a textbook example of how to write a newspaper column if you're a liberal bigot.
Read it and see if you can tell what Mr Liddle's argument is.
No?
Me neither.
Do you think he was sober when he wrote this?
No?
Me neither.
Verily, Rod Liddle is the thinking man's Jeremy Clarkson.

Lesbian myth

I knew it. A census from the Office for National Statistics has at last proved that lesbians — like the Abominable Snowman, the unicorn and werewolves — do not actually exist, but are the creation of someone’s mischievous imagination.
The report out last week suggests that 0.6% of the British population are lesbian, and only 1.3% of men are gay. Given the usual margin of error on such studies, this could mean that minus 4.4% of British people are lesbian, a figure I would be inclined to believe.
For years, gay pressure groups have insisted that at least one in three of us is gay, or perhaps all of us but we don’t know it yet: all we need is a night out down Old Compton Street with some amyl nitrate. Just as disabled pressure groups insist that one in three of us is disabled and child abuse groups claim that almost every child in the country has been interfered with.
It is a shame that there are not more gay people in Britain, as they are responsible for very little crime, work hard and are high achievers.
If only the ONS was wrong and the gay pressure groups were right, we’d be the richest country on earth.

No idea. Anyone?