Stonewall Awards: All Must Have Prizes

Can there be a more thrilling event in the homosexualist calendar than the Stonewall Awards?
All those famous people from off the telly, posh queens, the fagerati and that - imagine!
Fagburn thinks they are basically A Good Thing, and admires its intent of shining a light on those who have been very, very good or very, very bad to The Gays.
But it sometimes seems a bit like the Caucus race in Alice In Wonderland; "Everybody has won, and all must have prizes."
Last year Boyzone's Stephen Gately won an award.
Presumably for dying.
The awards for writer, journalist and publication of the year in particular are an exercise in plate-spinning, trying to keep everyone and anyone happy so they carry on giving Stonewall good press.
Is there a national lesbian and/or gay publication that hasn't been nominated?
In 2008 they even shortlisted the homophobic and transphobic loon Julie Bindel for the Hero award for fuck's sake.
Today Stonewall announced the shortlists for Bigot of the Year and Hero of the Year.
Their heroes this year? Claire Balding, Kath Gillespie Sells of LGBT disability camapigning group Regard, Dr Jeffrey John (Is it just Fagburn's memory playing tricks or does the Dean of St Albans get nominated every year?), Gareth Thomas, and Joe McElderry.
Though one could argue that whoever outed Joe by hacking into his Twitter account is more deserving of the award.
Bigots? They got 'em. Frederick Forsyth, AA Gill, Chris Grayling, Rev Arthur Roche from adoption agency Catholic Care, and Susanne Wilkinson, a bigoted B&B owner from Berkshire.
Good choices all - though AA Gill isn't really homophobic, he's just a sneering posh git, and sadly he'll most likely wallow in being nominated.
But the really good news is that tickets to the awards ceremony are a snip at just £150!
Some gay people are filthy rich - get over it!

• Frederick Forsyth - a man so right-wing he seems sectionable - was nominated for a predictably shitty Daily Express column written about the gay asylum ruling in July. I'd provide a link to it, but it appears to have been removed from the Express website...