George Michael: Going Down

George Michael has just been sentenced to eight weeks in prison for crashing his car while driving under the influence of cannabis.
Fagburn feels like the despairing parent of a wayward teenager; what do you do when you give someone one last chance and they just go out and do it all over again?
The silly old sod.

What to expect in tomorrow's papers: Car crash metaphors, pious "troubled star" meditations, timelines, 'Cannabis - a doctor writes', "cried like a girl", made-up quotes from "a prisoner at Pentonville who saw George", made-up quotes from "a friend close to the star", stock photos of grim-looking prison cells, the thoughts of Boy George, the thoughts of Tony Parsons, "a wake-up call", ill-considered ironic use of song titles; Freedom, Praying For Time, Outside, Wake Me Up Before You Go Go To Jail etc etc