Big Gay Cry Baby: Has A New Poo

Big Gay Cry Baby has heard some gays are having deadly CHEMSEX!!! in the evil RUSSIA!!!!!

My heart - literally - bleeds. :(

Must write an hysterical article about this subject of which I know nothing.

Big Gay Baby: Dear Liam Of One Direction

Our newest columnist writes an open letter to Liam Payne about accusations that he is homophobic, after comments he made at a One Direction concert.

Dear Liam,

I was One Direction's biggest gay baby fan - until I heard about your hate-filled anti-gay rant yesterday!

At a concert - probably in NUREMBERG - you said this!

“This is my favourite song off the last album, and it is about trying to find that number one woman of your life… which none of you can relate to, because most of you are girls. 

“Except for the boys in here, you know what I’m talking about."

I literally cannot believe you said this!!!

HATERZ!

Why oh why did you not say (perhaps in brackets) that some women like the womens???

Then you addeded insults to injuries by clearly saying that any boy who likes 1D must like the D (ie is a gay). 

I think that's what you meant, could be the opposite, not sure tbh.

Anyway I bet the concert was full of lesbians and straight blokes, Mr Liam PAIN!

Also why did you not mention the transvestite community? 

Or my mate Nigel?

I have long suspected that One Direction were the most homophobic band in the world, now I know it is sadly true. 

So this morning I burnt all my One Direction CDs and posters and did a big poo in my nappy.

BOYCOTT LIAM! 

BAN JOKES!!

You are dead to me now.

your ex-fan

Big Gay Cry Baby (Now #TeamZayn)

Big Gay Baby: Introducing Our New Star Columnist...

Proudly waving the rainbow flag for the infantilisation of gay journalism since July 2015!

Hey gays! 

Didya see the photos of Pluto, the small planet? Pluto, the gay planet, more like! Hahaha!!! 

* Also didya see Caitlyn Jenner's moving speech when she accepted some award the other day? That tranny trans lady is #sobrave - and an inspiration, esp. to all the other trans lady millionaire Republican TV reality show stars. You go, trans girl! 

* So according to some boffins, all homophobes are secretly gayers! Hahaha! Some may dismiss this as an even bigger pile of steaming crap than I currently have in my nappy, but Big Gay Baby prefers to believe in comfort blankets like this.

* Congrats to American singing sexpot Nick Jonas! If only more hot male pop stars would 'come out' and say they don't want to kill all the gays with an assault rifle or perhaps a machete. And if only Nick could crush homophobia with his gorge big bulging biceps!!! #SoBraveNick 

* There was something in the news about the Nazis this week - it was actually about some old guy's involvement in the extermination of a million Jews at Auschwitz, but let's not forget those Nazis were also pretty horrid to the Gays! :( 

* Talking of Nazis, didya see the video of those two brave Russian dudes walking round Moscow hand-in-hand? They got called some very nasty names! Will we never learn from history??? First they came for the... [Subs, pls fill in the rest of this hackneyed quote]. 

* Talking of countries that are just like Nazi Germany, didya see they've lifted international sanctions against Iran? Hrmph! Well, Mr Obama, some of us will never forget the 6 MILLION GAYS Iran has sent to the gas chambers! Big Gay Baby says keep the sanctions - until there is a lovely Rainbow Crossing in Tehran! 

* On a lighter note, just got an email from the guys at Grindr. Apparently, according to a scientific poll they've conducted, it's a great place to find love and to make new friends! Well done Grindr! Happy to put the record straight and give you a free ad. 

* Maybe all the sad and lonely gays I've been reading about who go to so-called 'chemicalsex parties' should try using Grindr to find love and make some new friends, eh? Just sayin'...

That's great, Big Gay Baby, but I think it's time for your nap now...

Burp!