Fagburn: The First Worsts

Fagburn's Inaugural First Worsts Gay Media Watch 2013 Awards Ceremony...

Worst newspaper in the world.

The Independent. Unbelievably patronising dim-witted gay coverage, all seemingly written by posh straight interns who know fuck all about The Gays, and whose idea of research is typing 'gay' into Google News. Actually chose the "inventor" of a pink Union Jack as the tenth most important gayer in Britain! And don't even get me started on Tilda fucking Swinton and her stupid rainbow flag.

Worst journalist.

Patrick Strudwick. Pearl-clutching bed-wetting liberal idiot. Would accuse a pencil-case of being 'homophobic'. Literally incapable of writing an interesting sentence. Seems to think the main point of journalism is publishing photos of his grinning face (Sad "Boo-hoo squish squish sad face" also available).

Worst journalist in the world of gay.

They are both called Joe. This seems to be "a thing".

Worst journalist in the world of lesbian.

Nancy Goldstein. Actually clinically bonkers.

Worst straight journalist writing about something she knows fuck all about.

Gemma Aldridge for her fantastically ignorant Sunday People article saying "bug chasing" is "a thing".

Worst straight media gay cliché.

Gay dads. Arggggghhhh!

Worst pop star.

Lady Gaga - an absolute five star patronising idiot.

Worst article of the year.

Pink News declares the late Margaret Thatcher a "gay icon". FFS! [See also that Tory winker Damian Barr's Maggie & Me].

Worst website.

Huffington Post Gay Voices. Could you be a bit less boring and worthy, please?

Worst website in the proud to be a gay American world.

Americabloggay. 'Russia bad. America good. Must serve empire! Ugh!' Could you be any more servile to American power? [No].

Worst article about The Gays and The Sports.

Too many to mention, but apparently it is still "the last taboo."

Worst decision.

The conviction of Chelsea Manning.

Worst gay Uncle Tom.

The Daily Mail's Andrew Pierce. 'And I say this as a self-loathing gay Tory myself...' [Fifth year running].

Worst gay hypocrite.

Cardinal Keith O'Brien. Hahahahahahahaha!

Worst liar.

Waitress in anti-gay receipt scam. Astounded people still print junk like this story unquestioned.

Worst hoax.

Kenny Everett and Freddie Mercury took Princess Diana in man drag to the Vauxhall Tavern. Yeah, that happened.

Worst transphobes.

Julie Burchill, Julie Bindel et al.

Worst television programme ever made.

Vicious. FFS!

Worst not coming out.

"Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course ... not many". Morrissey. 

You are even gayer than me and Tom Daley's gay lovechild, dear.

Worst gay news site.

Gay Star News. Just unbelievably embarrassing business-rimming naff shit. Literally turning your brain into apolitical mushy peas. Any gay publication will bear the imprint of its editor, so that's why GSN is as dull as saggy old arseholes. Thanks Little Lord Tristram Double-Barrelled Name! Can you just not? Fagburn hates!

Worst gay message board.

Pink News. It really is the gay Mail Online. Do only members of LGBTory read this?

Worst gay campaign group.

Queer Nation NY. Cause why protest about queer homelessness, poverty, misery and homophobia in New York, when you can organise a photo-op of you pouring Russian [Latvian?] vodka down a drain?

Worst gay tizzyfit.

A famous person said they're not that keen on gay marriage. He must die!! Bet he eats that gay-hate Barilla pasta!

Worst gay meme.

By Stonewall. Oh do shut up.

Worst LGBT campaigner.

Saint Peter Tatchell. Egomaniac and fantasist who confuses a movement with himself, thus destroying any real potential for a left-wing grassroots gay movement. Last seen harassing an old man who's said he doesn't support anti-gay laws. No wonder the Daily Mail thinks Pete is a "national treasure".

Worst blogger.

Fagburn. Solipsistic sanctimonious embittered joyless moaning twat.

Elton John: Russia

There was a lot of speculation about whether I would go to Russia this year. Many people outside the country thought I should boycott Russia because of its new homophobic legislation. Others said I must go to challenge the government.

I decided in the end to be guided by what Russian people wanted me to do. The message, from even the most marginalised Russian groups we work with at the Elton John AIDS Foundation, was "please come". If you don't come, Aids workers and LGBT activists told us, we will feel isolated. We will miss having your voice in our debate. It might be interpreted that you don't care. Or we may be blamed for keeping you away...

Elton John statement on EJAF website.

Following Elton’s recent trip to Russia to perform in Kazan and Moscow, where he made a personal statement from the stage, Elton shares his thoughts and motivation with supporters of the Elton John AIDS Foundation.

The Elton John AIDS Foundation has given over £1.3m to programmes in Russia since 2000. On 6th and 7th December, Elton travelled to Russia to perform concerts in Moscow and Kazan. He took the opportunity to meet many in the HIV and LGBT sector, including Foundation grantees...

Well done, mate.

x

PS Fagburn has kinda given up on checking right-wing goons telling lies about Russia, but this piece on Prospect by la-la Nancy Goldstein is something of a classic of the kind. I've asked her if she can back up any of her barking claims - it starts with her claiming there is no free press in Russia, then goes rapidly downhill - thus far, no reply.
Choo choo - here comes the mad train!

The Guardian: Another Good Week For Gay Hysteria

WARNING: I WOULDN'T BOTHER READING THIS, IF I WERE YOU. IT'S FAGBURN BEING BORING ABOUT A RATHER BORING ARTICLE! BUT THAT'S KINDA THE POINT... *

Today the Guardian returns to the Russia/Pasta anti-gay Axis of Evil.
Thank you for fearlessly bringing these two subjects to our attention while so many others have been so silent.
In an online article Nancy Goldstein declares; It's Another Bad Week To Be Gay.
Why's that then, Nancy?
"There's been an unusually high volume of international bigotry and bad news to put up with this week."
Unusually high?
Cripes!
What's happened?
You probably haven't heard anything about this, but apparently the boss of some big Italian pasta company said he wants their TV ads to only feature straight families.
Fascist!
It gets worse.
The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has said they are "convinced that Russia will respect the Olympic charter, which prohibits discrimination of any kind".
Quislings!
And these demonstrate "an unusually high volume of international bigotry"??? [1]
Where on earth have you been?
Fagburn's surprised Nancy Goldstein didn't go for the hysterics' hat-trick and bring in the "offensive" (!) Inflatable Gay Best Friend, but I guess her story was filed too early to cover that great "outrage."
Frankly, I can think of many far worse weeks for us, but do go on...

Nancy: When not grinning she weeps for the world

She begins with that evil spaghetti monster, Guido Barilla, who said something about The Gays that both she and I disagree with.
How fucking dare he not agree with us?!
There has now been - inevitably - a call for a boycott of Barilla pasta, by people so infected with bourgeois consumerism they confuse (not) shopping with political action.
Welcome to the brave new world of gay "passive-activism"; if it makes you feel good, don't do it.
For the more dedicated LGBT inactivist there's an equally inevitable AllOut petition to get Barilla make an advert featuring a gay family." [2]
As ever, the promise of freedom is just a click away.
Should we now not buy anything that doesn't have a token fag in a TV ad?
How much do you feel your life has been diminished - and the forward march of gay liberation halted - by not seeing a gay dude in a stupid TV commercial today?
On a scale of one to fuck-all?
Do our collective queer dreams now aspire to nothing greater than being sold stuff by someone who looks a bit like us?
What a fortunate, wonderful life you must have had if you think this is what oppression looks like.
It's often stressed that Mr Barilla also said he doesn't agree with gay adoption - I wish he did, I wish everyone did, but they don't. [3]
Some people are bigots, get over it!
Again, should we boycott anything and everything made by a company where the CEO has daft outdated reactionary views we don't like?
I can't imagine finding much political common ground with many multi-millionaire company directors.
And how deluded and naive would someone have to be to get angry when they realise corporations aren't moral agents?
Or that their Capo di tutti capi isn't a saint?

Bit of a scoop here - Russia now hangs gay men

As there has been such an absolute avalanche of anti-gay hate this week, Goldstein swiftly moves onto the IOC statement.
Apparently; "Surpassing even Barilla's unique blend of homophobia and cynicism".
Which, seeing as the former was a relatively mild bad thing to say about The Gays, wouldn't be difficult.
She quotes the Olympic Charter, "Any form of discrimination with regard to a country or a person on grounds of race, religion, politics, gender or otherwise is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic movement".
Adding; "It also compels the IOC to "fight against" and "take action against" what the charter calls "discrimination of any kind" [4].
The IOC seem only to care about discrimination at the actual Olympic games or in sport [5], but could Goldstein give me one example of a host country - future or past - of the Olympic Games or Winter Olympics without "discrimination of any kind" or with a perfect record on human rights?
London 2012 - we didn't have equal marriage, for one boring thing.
Beijing 2008... err, need I go on?
Goldstein also seems blissfully unaware that the Olympic Charter also states;“No kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda is permitted in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas.”( Section 50:3).
The new Russian law outlawing "gay propaganda" is thus rendered irrelevant by this.
Technically, you can't protest about anything anyway - even if it's something as banal as painting your toenails in the colours of the rainbow.
Remember Mexico 68?
She blames Sochi's commercial sponsors; Coca-Cola, McDonald's, Visa, Procter & Gamble...
Presumably if we ask them, or don't buy their junk, these nice big businesses will save us.
We're here, we're queer, and we're not going shopping for your useless crap unless you sponsor Alburquerque Pride! [6]

Why is The Guardian publishing this shit?

Goldstein knows there are other ways to protest, of course.
Strangely, her sole example is a protest at the Metropolitan Opera in New York this week.
The Met's great crime?

The bastards didn't dedicate a performance of Tchaikovsky's Eugene Onegin to Russian LGBTs.
Don't they care???
Inside, an American man shouted at two Russian performers; "Your silence is killing Russian gays!"
What, literally?
This was cruelly ironic, as many US/UK campaigners never listen to what Russian LGBT campaigners say anyway.
eg All those Americans screaming for boycotts, when almost all Russian campaigners say they're pointless and counterproductive.
They are all but invisible, inaudible to the likes of Queer Nation NY and Goldstein. [7]
Because we in the west know what's best for the likes of them.
Orientalism redux!

Oh look! Some actual LGBT Russians campaigning!

There were two protests in Russia last week - far more important, meaningful, brave and inspiring than shouting in front of some wealthy Americans.

How much coverage did you see in the news?
There was some about a protest by Nikolai Alexseyev - partly because he always press releases the international media - photos of self attached (remind you of anyone?).

The protest in Moscow against homophobia in schools was completely ignored.
But then their aims were communicating with their fellow Russians, making connections with other struggles, and challenging the authorities - not the real heavy-lifting of getting their name and picture in the New York Times.
Goldstein does conclude by mourning the death of the Russian gay campaigner, Aleksei Davydov. [8]
I'm ashamed to say the name hadn't registered with me, probably because he was an unperson in the western media when he was alive.
Yet he is now brought back to life after death by those who have all of a sudden realised Russia does bad things to the gays.
The readers' comments after this article are - as ever - as depressing as fudge.
Backwards bastards! Boycott! Ban! Boo hoo! Squish squish! *sad face* etc.
But if someone has read and believed all the stories about Russia recently, you can't really blame them for unthinking they're building Belsen on the Volga.
Some people dared to ask why either of these two minor stories are thought so very important and so terrible in the general scheme of global gay misery that they warrant such space.
The endless, voluminous, shoddy coverage about gay life in Russia is sinister, and suggestive of another agenda.
The manufactured feigned outrage over Guido Barilla's unremarkable remarks and the silly, unfunny joke that is the Inflatable Gay Best Friend is ludicrous and embarrassing.
Both can only be seen by any rational person as little, localised outbreaks of mass hysteria.
Beware the pink pearl-clutchers and pitchfork-wavers.
Both are frightening phenomena the media should be exposing, not colluding in.
¡Ya basta!

THANKS IF YOU MADE IT TO THE END OF THIS. I DID WARN YOU IT WAS GOING TO BE BORING. BUT THE POINT IS THAT THE ARTICLE REFERRED TO IS POINTLESS. BUT THEY'LL PUBLISH ANYTHING IF IT CONFORMS TO AND FURTHER FEEDS THE CURRENT CLIMATE OF GAY HYSTERIA. FAGBURN HAS FOUND THIS WEEK SO "BAD" HE WILL NOW MAKE A GAY BEST FRIEND DOLL OUT OF BARILLA PASTA AND DEFECT TO RUSSIA. до свидания! ARRIVEDERCI! GOODBYE!

* I politely pointed some of these errors and inconsistencies on The Guardian messageboard - bizarrely a moderator removed them.
Whilst I'd like to say I had really kicked it to The Man, I fear this is what happens when bored interns moderate your forums.
See also 'G*y' on Tesco Direct...

Gay Star News: Tilda SWINDON! Who he?

1. Of course, sexing up a story is standard practice in the mass media. Try pitching an article saying things haven't changed much recently, and nothing really bad has actually happened. Best to make people believe the shock-horror hype.
2. I've been told you're more likely to see the ghost of Mussolini's mistress selling stuff in an Italian ad, than a gay man anyway.
3. She quotes without question professional hysteric, Michael Aravosis of the ever-so patriotic AMERICAblog, source of a translation of the interview, and also, curiously, of endless stories about LGBT Russia. Mike's faith in capital is so fanatical he thinks boycotts are the answer to all #teamgay's problems.
4. I can't find this in the - admittedly very long - charter. Nancy, can you let me know where it is? Ta.
5. South Africa was banned from the Olympics in 1964, not because of the apartheid system, but specifically because they refused to "renounce racial discrimination in sport and opposed the ban in its own country on competition between white and black athletes."
6. See this recent Slate feature by J Bryan Lowder on the gay movement's obsession with consumer boycotts - and corporate endorsements, Barilla Chairman Doesn't Like Gay People: So What?
7. Queer Nation NY is a new group who, tellingly, are making lots of noise/publicity about homophobia in Russia, but not about homophobia in New York.
8. Scott Long has written an obituary of Aleksei Davydov, who he knew, and worked with.
Tris Reid Smith has written movingly for Gay Star News about Davydov - "inspirational" "hero" etc.
Makes you wonder why he never mentioned him when he was alive? 
See also their header about this and Tilda Swindon above.