Showing posts with label Barilla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Barilla. Show all posts

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Fagburn: Here Is The Gayer News!

• Dong! The forward march of fascist anti-gay pasta halted. An ever-so slightly pyrrhic victory for gay hysterics and fans of phoney outrage, as Barilla pasta announces competition asking the gays to make gay-friendly adverts getting other gays to buy Barilla pasta! Mamma mia!

• Dong! Saint Peter of Tatchell is organising another pointless protest against Valery Gergiev, some Russian conductor who supports Putin! Remember: Russia is uniquely evil, and this old man is personally responsible for all its sins. You are asked to bring sparklers. Yes, sparklers! Drop me a line if you have any idea what all this is meant to achieve, beyond getting Mr Vain's picture in the papers again, and boring some posh people. [Update: And here Peter digs himself into an almighty hole and shows once more why so many on the Left think he's a berk].

• Dong! Dan's Bank Balance Just Gets Better! Want Dan Savage to speak at your college? That'll be $24,000, please! The official voice of American gay privilege don't come cheap. Hopefully Dan throws in his classic  "Say 'Yes' To War On Iraq!" routine for free. [Update: Savage tells a conference he wants; "Population control: there's too many goddamn people on the planet. You know, I'm pro-choice, I believe that women should have a right to control their bodies. Sometimes in my darker moments, I'm anti-choice. I think abortion should be mandatory for about 30 years." Erm...]

• Dong! Our Owen Jones has made a short film for the BBC explaining the continuing relevance of Karl Marx to, I think, Blue Peter viewers. Owen is taking part in the Bonfire Of Austerity action in Westminster this evening. Which clashes with the Million Mask March. [Update: Irony alert as media only report on the latter Anonymous protest to say a celebrity turned up! Luckily Russell Brand took off his mask so people knew who he was. Celebactivism? No thank you!].

Is 'queer' a word middle-class activists use that may alienate LGBT workers? Discuss.

• And finally, the US Senate has passed ENDA - the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. It's still perfectly legal to sack LGBT workers in most states in America, but this is a start towards stopping that. But why get angry about something that actually impacts on the lives of ordinary lesbians and gay men in your own country, when you can whine on about something less important in Russia?

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Fagburn: A Few Brief Words To Those Among My Fellow Gay Men Who Think Boycotting Barilla Pasta Is As Heroic And Important A Struggle As That Of The 25 Million Russians Who Died To Defeat Nazi Germany And Help End The Systematic Extermination Of The Entire Jewish Population Of Europe

An actual meme masquerading as political critique today

Power laughs while it kicks your ass,
while they distracted you into thinking some stupid pasta boycott
about having some token fag in some stupid fucking TV ad
really meant something meaningful,
when it meant nothing but your acceptance
of their attempts to depoliticise your culture.

Shut up and eat up the nicer pasta, boys!

Wipe your chin, tuck your shirt in,
Go home.

They've won.

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Tories: Enemies Without Benefits

Morland cartoon for The Independent,

Grandmaster Melle Mel And The Furious Five - We Don't Work For Free.

Not much of note in gayland this morning, it seems.
White rabbits! etc
Best wishes to anyone who's not stopping smoking or is not growing a hideous moustache or whatever we're meant to do this month.
Are we allowed to eat gay hate spaghetti again now?

Saturday, 28 September 2013

The Guardian: Another Good Week For Gay Hysteria

WARNING: I WOULDN'T BOTHER READING THIS, IF I WERE YOU. IT'S FAGBURN BEING BORING ABOUT A RATHER BORING ARTICLE! BUT THAT'S KINDA THE POINT... *

Today the Guardian returns to the Russia/Pasta anti-gay Axis of Evil.
Thank you for fearlessly bringing these two subjects to our attention while so many others have been so silent.
In an online article Nancy Goldstein declares; It's Another Bad Week To Be Gay.
Why's that then, Nancy?
"There's been an unusually high volume of international bigotry and bad news to put up with this week."
Unusually high?
Cripes!
What's happened?
You probably haven't heard anything about this, but apparently the boss of some big Italian pasta company said he wants their TV ads to only feature straight families.
Fascist!
It gets worse.
The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has said they are "convinced that Russia will respect the Olympic charter, which prohibits discrimination of any kind".
Quislings!
And these demonstrate "an unusually high volume of international bigotry"??? [1]
Where on earth have you been?
Fagburn's surprised Nancy Goldstein didn't go for the hysterics' hat-trick and bring in the "offensive" (!) Inflatable Gay Best Friend, but I guess her story was filed too early to cover that great "outrage."
Frankly, I can think of many far worse weeks for us, but do go on...

Nancy: When not grinning she weeps for the world
She begins with that evil spaghetti monster, Guido Barilla, who said something about The Gays that both she and I disagree with.
How fucking dare he not agree with us?!
There has now been - inevitably - a call for a boycott of Barilla pasta, by people so infected with bourgeois consumerism they confuse (not) shopping with political action.
Welcome to the brave new world of gay "passive-activism"; if it makes you feel good, don't do it.
For the more dedicated LGBT inactivist there's an equally inevitable AllOut petition to get Barilla make an advert featuring a gay family." [2]
As ever, the promise of freedom is just a click away.
Should we now not buy anything that doesn't have a token fag in a TV ad?
How much do you feel your life has been diminished - and the forward march of gay liberation halted - by not seeing a gay dude in a stupid TV commercial today?
On a scale of one to fuck-all?
Do our collective queer dreams now aspire to nothing greater than being sold stuff by someone who looks a bit like us?
What a fortunate, wonderful life you must have had if you think this is what oppression looks like.
It's often stressed that Mr Barilla also said he doesn't agree with gay adoption - I wish he did, I wish everyone did, but they don't. [3]
Some people are bigots, get over it!
Again, should we boycott anything and everything made by a company where the CEO has daft outdated reactionary views we don't like?
I can't imagine finding much political common ground with many multi-millionaire company directors.
And how deluded and naive would someone have to be to get angry when they realise corporations aren't moral agents?
Or that their Capo di tutti capi isn't a saint?

Bit of a scoop here - Russia now hangs gay men
As there has been such an absolute avalanche of anti-gay hate this week, Goldstein swiftly moves onto the IOC statement.
Apparently; "Surpassing even Barilla's unique blend of homophobia and cynicism".
Which, seeing as the former was a relatively mild bad thing to say about The Gays, wouldn't be difficult.
She quotes the Olympic Charter, "Any form of discrimination with regard to a country or a person on grounds of race, religion, politics, gender or otherwise is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic movement".
Adding; "It also compels the IOC to "fight against" and "take action against" what the charter calls "discrimination of any kind" [4].
The IOC seem only to care about discrimination at the actual Olympic games or in sport [5], but could Goldstein give me one example of a host country - future or past - of the Olympic Games or Winter Olympics without "discrimination of any kind" or with a perfect record on human rights?
London 2012 - we didn't have equal marriage, for one boring thing.
Beijing 2008... err, need I go on?
Goldstein also seems blissfully unaware that the Olympic Charter also states;“No kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda is permitted in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas.”( Section 50:3).
The new Russian law outlawing "gay propaganda" is thus rendered irrelevant by this.
Technically, you can't protest about anything anyway - even if it's something as banal as painting your toenails in the colours of the rainbow.
Remember Mexico 68?
She blames Sochi's commercial sponsors; Coca-Cola, McDonald's, Visa, Procter & Gamble...
Presumably if we ask them, or don't buy their junk, these nice big businesses will save us.
We're here, we're queer, and we're not going shopping for your useless crap unless you sponsor Alburquerque Pride! [6]

Why is The Guardian publishing this shit?
Goldstein knows there are other ways to protest, of course.
Strangely, her sole example is a protest at the Metropolitan Opera in New York this week.
The Met's great crime?
The bastards didn't dedicate a performance of Tchaikovsky's Eugene Onegin to Russian LGBTs.
Don't they care???
Inside, an American man shouted at two Russian performers; "Your silence is killing Russian gays!"
What, literally?
This was cruelly ironic, as many US/UK campaigners never listen to what Russian LGBT campaigners say anyway.
eg All those Americans screaming for boycotts, when almost all Russian campaigners say they're pointless and counterproductive.
They are all but invisible, inaudible to the likes of Queer Nation NY and Goldstein. [7]
Because we in the west know what's best for the likes of them.
Orientalism redux!

Oh look! Some actual LGBT Russians campaigning!
There were two protests in Russia last week - far more important, meaningful, brave and inspiring than shouting in front of some wealthy Americans.
How much coverage did you see in the news?
There was some about a protest by Nikolai Alexseyev - partly because he always press releases the international media - photos of self attached (remind you of anyone?).
The protest in Moscow against homophobia in schools was completely ignored.
But then their aims were communicating with their fellow Russians, making connections with other struggles, and challenging the authorities - not the real heavy-lifting of getting their name and picture in the New York Times.
Goldstein does conclude by mourning the death of the Russian gay campaigner, Aleksei Davydov. [8]
I'm ashamed to say the name hadn't registered with me, probably because he was an unperson in the western media when he was alive.
Yet he is now brought back to life after death by those who have all of a sudden realised Russia does bad things to the gays.
The readers' comments after this article are - as ever - as depressing as fudge.
Backwards bastards! Boycott! Ban! Boo hoo! Squish squish! *sad face* etc.
But if someone has read and believed all the stories about Russia recently, you can't really blame them for unthinking they're building Belsen on the Volga.
Some people dared to ask why either of these two minor stories are thought so very important and so terrible in the general scheme of global gay misery that they warrant such space.
The endless, voluminous, shoddy coverage about gay life in Russia is sinister, and suggestive of another agenda.
The manufactured feigned outrage over Guido Barilla's unremarkable remarks and the silly, unfunny joke that is the Inflatable Gay Best Friend is ludicrous and embarrassing.
Both can only be seen by any rational person as little, localised outbreaks of mass hysteria.
Beware the pink pearl-clutchers and pitchfork-wavers.
Both are frightening phenomena the media should be exposing, not colluding in.
¡Ya basta!

THANKS IF YOU MADE IT TO THE END OF THIS. I DID WARN YOU IT WAS GOING TO BE BORING. BUT THE POINT IS THAT THE ARTICLE REFERRED TO IS POINTLESS. BUT THEY'LL PUBLISH ANYTHING IF IT CONFORMS TO AND FURTHER FEEDS THE CURRENT CLIMATE OF GAY HYSTERIA. FAGBURN HAS FOUND THIS WEEK SO "BAD" HE WILL NOW MAKE A GAY BEST FRIEND DOLL OUT OF BARILLA PASTA AND DEFECT TO RUSSIA. до свидания! ARRIVEDERCI! GOODBYE!

* I politely pointed some of these errors and inconsistencies on The Guardian messageboard - bizarrely a moderator removed them.
Whilst I'd like to say I had really kicked it to The Man, I fear this is what happens when bored interns moderate your forums.
See also 'G*y' on Tesco Direct...


Gay Star News: Tilda SWINDON! Who he?
1. Of course, sexing up a story is standard practice in the mass media. Try pitching an article saying things haven't changed much recently, and nothing really bad has actually happened. Best to make people believe the shock-horror hype.
2. I've been told you're more likely to see the ghost of Mussolini's mistress selling stuff in an Italian ad, than a gay man anyway.
3. She quotes without question professional hysteric, Michael Aravosis of the ever-so patriotic AMERICAblog, source of a translation of the interview, and also, curiously, of endless stories about LGBT Russia. Mike's faith in capital is so fanatical he thinks boycotts are the answer to all #teamgay's problems.
4. I can't find this in the - admittedly very long - charter. Nancy, can you let me know where it is? Ta.
5. South Africa was banned from the Olympics in 1964, not because of the apartheid system, but specifically because they refused to "renounce racial discrimination in sport and opposed the ban in its own country on competition between white and black athletes."
6. See this recent Slate feature by J Bryan Lowder on the gay movement's obsession with consumer boycotts - and corporate endorsements, Barilla Chairman Doesn't Like Gay People: So What?
7. Queer Nation NY is a new group who, tellingly, are making lots of noise/publicity about homophobia in Russia, but not about homophobia in New York.
8. Scott Long has written an obituary of Aleksei Davydov, who he knew, and worked with.
Tris Reid Smith has written movingly for Gay Star News about Davydov - "inspirational" "hero" etc.
Makes you wonder why he never mentioned him when he was alive? 
See also their header about this and Tilda Swindon above.

Friday, 27 September 2013

G*y Best Friend: Blow Me!

If SEX in the City and Will & Grace taught us anything, it's that g*y best friends are in this season. We've had the manbag, we've had leg warmers and iPhone fever, now it's time for the new craze. Although not much can be said for his own attire, your Inflatable g*y Best Friend is ready to give you fashion advice, tell you if your bum looks big and b**ch about everyone who doesn't wear Jimmy Choo's. He may be rather quiet, but one look at that smiling, Gary Lineker-esque face and you know what he's thinking..."You go girlfriend!" Ready with an inflatable bunch of roses to cheer you up after any break up or bad day, your new g*y Best Friend will be at your side whenever you need a hug. An ideal gift for Hen Nights, Birthdays and Christmas stocking fillers, inflate your personality and kiss your worries goodbye with the Inflatable g*y Best Friend!

Tesco Direct - now removed from site (Cached page).

Fagburn likes the way the word SEX is put in caps, but the word gay is "censored" with an asterisk.
I know not why, but suspect it's due to one person's stupidity, not some great homophobic conspiracy.
It also says the suggested age range is 3-4 years. 
Modern parenting, eh?
Well, this inflatable "fun" novelty item is definitely naff, crap and patronising - the box lists the usual cliches you see in all those rubbishy articles about GBFs; Loves to shop, great sense of humour, loves to dance, gives great fashion advice, loves rimming etc etc - and I really wouldn't want to be friends with anyone sad enough to want one.
But Pink News report that the doll has just been withdrawn from Tesco's website! *
Excuse me?!
The first line in their story points out this happened; "A day after Tesco was forced to withdraw two Halloween outfits after they were criticised for stigmatising people with mental health issues."
Meaning, presumably, that someone thinks this doll is "stigmatising" of the gaize, and offensive and so they screamed; "THIS IS HOMOPHOBIA!!!"
Err, it was a rubbish joke, presumably ironic, and aimed at homophiles.
How stupid would you have to be to take this seriously?
Oh well, yet another victory for the spaghetti-boycotting gay hysterics.
Could they be any more boring?
To repeat what I wrote about the Barilla pasta boycott balls yesterday; "Fuck knows how anyone who can get angry about this would cope if something really bad happened."
Name one thing that exists in the known universe and I'm sure you could find someone who says they're offended by it.
From cucumbers and beards and Pot Noodles to the very existence of (real) gay men.
I personally find the sound of people eating crisps and the smell of Glade Plugins extremely offensive.
I don't think they should be banned, though.
My advice? "Shut up and grow up and get in the real world, Mr Gaybore."

PS These blow-up dolls are still widely available in several shops in Brighton, often ones run by jolly older gay men - the self-loathing quislings!

* Gay Star News may have reported on this "controversy" (!) first, but the story has no time of filing.

Update: And inevitably it's... SUPERGAYBORE TO THE RESCUE!!!

Cause lots of humour is based on stereotypes - thanks for asking.

At last... 
Tesco ‘very sorry’ for displaying ‘offensive G*y Best Friend’ inflatable doll on website - Pink News.
But why?
Every gay man I've asked thinks this whole thing is ridiculous.
The joyless gay idiots are winning, boys, best be on your guard.
x

Update: FFS! Even The Guardian are writing about this as if it's something anyone cares about except a few loons on Twitter.
IT IS NOT NEWS JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ON TWITTER SAYS THEY DON'T LIKE SOMETHING!!!

It even made it to Radio 4 news - but in their defence they did put it in the "And finally... a skateboarding duck", it's-a-funny-old-world slot.

Update2: The Daily Mail shares your pain about Tesco selling this inflatable GBF.
But have a look through the Mail Online index and see how many patronising articles they've run about shopping, dancing, witty, sassy etc Gay Best Friends.
Fagburn lost count/interest.
This, of course, also applies to every newspaper in Britain.

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Barilla Pasta Outrage: First They Came For The Lasagna...

The chairman of Barilla Group says his company will not feature gay families in advertisements for his products because he likes the "traditional" family. If someone disagrees, well, they can go "eat another brand of pasta."

Guido Barilla made the anti-gay comments during an interview with La Zanzara on Radio24 Wednesday. The radio host asked him why his company does not have ads with gay families.
"We have a slightly different culture," Barilla said, per a Huffington Post translation of the interview. "For us, the 'sacral family' remains one of the company’s core values. Our family is a traditional family. If gays like our pasta and our advertisings, they will eat our pasta; if they don’t like that, they will eat someone else’s pasta. You can’t always please everyone not to displease anyone. I would not do a commercial with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect toward homosexuals – who have the right to do whatever they want without disturbing others – but because I don’t agree with them*, and I think we want to talk to traditional families. The women are crucial in this." 

Activists are now demanding a boycott against Barilla, which is the world's largest pasta producer, according to Italy's Gazzetta del Sud. The protest became a trending topic on Twitter shortly after Barilla's remarks aired, with the hashtag #boicottabarilla. 

From Huffpost Gay Voices - the online home of boring bourgeois gay hysteria.


SHOCKING!
Naturally the united gay simpletons of Twitter have set it ablaze today.
Fuck knows how anyone who can get angry about something like this would cope if something really bad happened.
So a silly old man has said the sort of silly thing some silly old men sometimes say!
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW MUSSOLINI STARTED!!!
Is there an e-petition yet?
Has Dan Savage ordered us to boycott French red wine in protest?
Can someone knock up a poster of Il Duce Barilla with a Hitler moustache drawn on?
Should we be visiting our delightful Tuscan holiday homes in the near future?
Later this evening Fagburn will be protesting by pouring a tin of spaghetti hoops down the drain and then sending a photo of him doing it to the world's gay media.
Silence anyone you disagree with!
If you don't like what Guido has said buy another brand of pasta, that'll learn him, even though he said that's what he thinks you should do.
In fact, don't buy anything unless you've seen a gay dude in one of their adverts.
It's time to make a stand against these fascists who aren't very keen on having gayers in one of their crappy TV ads.
The revolutionary spirit of the Stonewall riots lives on.
¡No pastarán!

• Commercial Coset - an online compendium of LGBT-themed commercials from around the world. 
* NB This doesn't make sense. No idea if it's him or the translation.

Update: Actual - and non-ironic - Gay Star News' headline; 'Gay Hate Spaghetti'...


Update2: At last someone talking some sense, Barilla Chairman Doesn't Like Gay People: So What? J Bryan Lowder on Slate (though GB didn't actually say he didn't like gay people).
Good on the gay "movement"'s fetishisation of consumer boycotts (and corporate endorsements).

Readers' comments on gay sites are hilariously hysterical, predictably.
My favourite from The Advocate; "I had a few boxes in my pantry this morning. No longer."
Take that, pasta Nazis!

PS Some more brilliant reader comments by les enragés at The Advocate...