Church Of England: Votes To Reject Controversial Same-Sex Marriage Thing That Nobody Else Cares About Anymore

In a shock move yet not shocking a move the more antiquated and pious members of the Church Of England has voted to persist with its reluctance to ban bear baiting, jousting, trepanning, the Industrial Revolution, slavery and flying on the unnatural EasyJet metal winged birds.

'Progress is bad,' said his royal highness the right hon Dr Justin Welby MB.

'Let us not speaketh about this great heresy again for another five years even if peoplle like watching the new-fangled TV and using electricy - the lightness of the devil.'.

'Now if we will you kindly excuse my, I shall now have to go and try and seperate another of my priests from a choirboy with a crowbarr.'

All: 'Praise be.'

'AMEN!' 

Sotto voce: 'I like your hat.'

''Thanks girl, it's Philip Treacy'

Church Of England: Bona

A Church of England theological college has expressed regret after trainee priests held a service in the antiquated gay slang language Polari.

The service at the chapel of Westcott House in Cambridge was to commemorate LGBT history month.

The congregation was told the use of the lexicon was an attempt to "queer the liturgy of evening prayer".

But officials said it had not been authorised and was at variance with the doctrine and teaching of the church.

Polari is thought to have originated in Victorian London but fell out of use as homosexuality began to be decriminalised in England in the 1960s.

Its words, however, were brought to wider public attention in the same decade by comedian Kenneth Williams in the BBC radio series Round the Horne.
'Fantabulosa Fairy'

One person present at the service told BBC News it was led by an ordinand - a trainee priest - rather than a licensed minister.

The congregation was also made up of trainees.

While they had been given permission to hold a service to commemorate LGBT history month, a Church of England source said the college chaplain had not seen the wording of the service.

The translation was based on the Polari bible, a work compiled as a project in 2003 by the self-styled Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

The scripture and liturgy were printed on to an order of service.

An Old Testament reading from the Prophet Joel which says "rend your heart and not your garments, return to the Lord your God" was printed in Polari as "rend your thumping chest and not your frocks - and turn unto the Duchess your Gloria: for she is bona and merciful".

Instead of the traditional "Glory be to the father, and to the son, and the Holy Spirit" the prayer offered was: "Fabeness be to the Auntie, and to the Homie Chavvie, and to the Fantabulosa Fairy".

Services in the Church of England are legally required to be conducted using the church's approved liturgy.

The principal of Westcott House, the Rev Canon Chris Chivers, said the liturgy of the service had not been authorised for use.

He said: "I fully recognise that the contents of the service are at variance with the doctrine and teaching of the Church of England and that is hugely regrettable.

"Inevitably for some members of the house this caused considerable upset and disquiet and I have spoken at length to those involved in organising the service.

"I will be reviewing and tightening the internal mechanisms of the house to ensure this never happens again."

BBC News.

This is exactly like medieval churches only wanting the Bible available in Latin. 

Letter Of The Day: Like A Prayer

PRAYING TO BISHOPS FOR LGBTI ACCEPTANCE

To All Members of the House of Bishops.

We are writing to you as married lesbian and gay members of the Church of England. Some of us are clergy; some of us are members of the laity. We are just a few of the many gay and lesbian people in this country who have in the past two years been able to celebrate with families, friends, and in our cases often our local church community, the enriching and life enhancing love we have found in our wives and husbands.

We would like you to know that we will be praying for you as you meet in September as a College of Bishops. Now that the Shared Conversations are at an end it is time for the Church of England to move forward and make clear the commitment to “good disagreement” that was at their heart.

We fully appreciate that the time may not yet be right for a change in the church’s official understanding of marriage. But many in our parishes have already made that move and it is time to respect that a diversity of theology within the church now exists and that there is more than one understanding of what a faithful Christian may believe on these issues.

As you meet to discuss, we seek from you a clear lead that offers a way forward to greater inclusion that will enable those parishes that wish to do so to celebrate the love that we have found in our wives and husbands. We hope for an outcome that will enable those who wish to do so to publicly celebrate where we see God at work in the lives of our congregations without fear and in openness.

We encourage you to be bold, and to be honest about what many of you already believe from your own experience, and to what you know to be increasingly the direction of travel, not just in our Church but in many Churches in this country.

We will always want to see the full inclusion of LGBTI people in the Church, and we will continue to work towards it. We look forward to welcoming a first step in that process and a move away from the harm and hurt that has so often been done in the name of the Church.

Yours in Christ.

Clergy: The Revd Andrew Foreshew-Cain and Stephen Foreshew-Cain, The Revd Richard Haggis and Ricardo Goncalves, The Revd Garry Lawson and Timothy H Wane, The Revd Clive Larson and John Markham, The Revd Paul Collier and Mr Collier, The Revd Canon Jeremy Davies and Simon McEnery, The Revd Geoffrey Thompson and Tony Steeles, The Revd Prof Mark Cobb and Keith Arrowsmith

Laity: Jeremy Timm and Mike Brown, Ruth Wilde and Ellie Wilde, Jack Semple and Ross Griffiths, Paul Jellings and Andrew Carter, Erica Baker and Susan Strong, Karen and Samantha Bregazzi-Jones, Keith Barber and Tim Mills, Simon Dawson and David Mooney

In addition a further seven clergy couples and Readers have indicated their support for this letter whilst wishing to remain anonymous in order to protect themselves, and often their bishops, from attack.

The Sunday Times.

Gay Marriage: People Who Believe We Are Ruled By A Man In The Sky Now Vaguely Supportive

The Times.

Like I care what they think.

Church Of England: And Not One Fuck Was Given

The Guardian.

Church Of England: So Sorry

C Of E: End Times

Guardian.

Couldn't be bothered to read this, tbh.

Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing.

Hard to say.

Archbishop Of Canterbury: You Don't Understand, This Is All About Me!!!

'Saturday's Telegraph headline appears to be "Justin Welby: Why same-sex marriage is all about me, not loving couples"' @TheStevenThomas

The Archbishop of Canterbury has suggested he is powerless to provide blessings for gay marriages because to do so would split the global Anglican Church.

In an interview with The Telegraph, the Most Rev Justin Welby says that the Church had probably caused “great harm” to homosexuals in the past — but there was not always a “huge amount” that could be done now to rectify the situation.

Although indicating that he was sympathetic to calls for the Church to publicly honour gay relationships, the Archbishop says that it is “impossible” for some followers in Africa to support homosexuality. In the interview, the leader of the Anglican Church, which has 77 million followers globally [sic], speaks movingly of the persecution faced by Christians in parts of the world. He indicates that the Church must not take a step that would cut off these groups, most of them in the third world, however much this angers parts of society in Britain...

Welby claims he was misquoted when he spoke about this a fortnight ago - even though he said it in a radio interview.

Here's the Telegraph's story.

Anglican Church: 10 More Commandments

Peter Stanford in the Independent On Sunday comes up with a ten point plan to save the Anglican Church from the dustbin of history,
Why don't the Church of England just make Richard Coles Pope - or whatever they call it?
And at Number 1?
'Stop obsessing over sex and gender'.

Church Of England Row: Patrick Smugtwit Writes

Imagine if they said that about black people! [SNIIIP!]

Richard Coles: "The Atheist's Favourite Priest"

I was rather weirdly chaste and nervous, while Jimmy [Somerville] was anything but. Our relationship was not…" He frowns. "Do you know, I can't remember whether we ever had sex." If he was chaste, then presumably they didn't? He laughs. "Yes, well, but you know, the occasional slip…" Would Somerville remember whether they ever had sex? "No, certainly not. Anyway, whether we did or we didn't do was immaterial to our friendship. We were young gay men in the 1980s, a very political time, and we had a common purpose: to bring Margaret Thatcher down with pop music."

Rev Richard Coles is profiled in The Independent On Sunday - note the journalist's presumption that all gay men must be fucking.
Former Communard and wild child, current vicar and broadcaster, and - eek - "trembling on the brink of national treasuredom."
"I just hope I don't fuck it all up," he says, "I suppose I could do so at any moment, couldn't I? It could happen here, now, with you."

Thought For The Day: Rev Giles Fraser

Hope, then, is the defiance of love, defiance against what can feel like a bleak reality. It is built on the promise that love is stronger than death. And because of this, there is nothing of which we need to be afraid. Not fundamentally.
This is the good news of Easter – which is why it’s so ridiculous that former Archbishop of Canterbury George Carey has used his own Easter message to continue his peculiar obsession with gay sex.
It is hardly earth-shattering good news if we reduce the Resurrection of Jesus Christ to some narrow moralism that seeks to police how people love each other.
In his attack on David Cameron, Lord Carey accused the Prime Minister of doing more than any recent political leader to feed the anxieties of those Christians who feel part of ‘a persecuted minority’.
To speak of Christians being persecuted in this country is an insult to those people in places such as Iran and Pakistan who really are...

Rev Giles Fraser, the former Canon Chancellor of St Paul's Cathedral, writing in the Mail On Sunday. 
A decent fellow, and a reminder that all Christian leaders aren't antediluvian mean-spirited unchristian bigots.

MORE than two-thirds of the public think the Church of England is out of touch with society and more than half believe it does a bad job of providing moral leadership, according to a new poll.
The YouGov survey, commissioned by The Sunday Times for Easter, also finds that four out of 10 people think priests — both Anglican and Roman Catholic — cannot be trusted to tell the truth.
The findings give an indication of the size of the challenge facing Justin Welby, who will deliver his first Easter message as Archbishop of Canterbury today.
Only 19% of respondents said they could name Welby, the leader of the world’s 80m Anglicans...
The church has been at the centre of several recent controversies, including a refusal to ordain women bishops and a rejection of same-sex marriage, a policy championed by David Cameron.
The YouGov poll shows that 49% of the public say the church is wrong to oppose such unions. Some 37% of people agree with its position on the issue. More than three-quarters (78%) think the church should allow women bishops...

The Sunday Times. 

Oh well, it was nasty nice while it lasted...

Jobs Confidential: Priest

People don't really know if you're a real human or not. I was young when I arrived at my parish and lots of my congregation gave me cutlery – because if I wasn't married, I clearly didn't own cutlery. When I started dating someone that was really weird for people. It was weird for me, too – seeing them at the altar rail, knowing that we'd been snogging the night before.
The dog collar can be a help and a hindrance. When I leave the gym, the other gym bunnies tend to do a double take, especially if they've been checking me out a bit. I can walk into a meeting of my peers, fellow professionals, and they won't listen to a word because the fact that I believe in God means that I'm clearly bonkers...
I get asked to pray for some odd things: I know far too much about the continence of my congregation. Sometimes they'll get very upset about something they've read in the Mail and I end up having to pray for whatever's causing cancer in cats this week.

From an Observer article, Jobs Confidential: 15 reveal the truth about their work.

Although it's not stated I get the impression this priest is a you-know-what.

Cardinal O'Brien: Flaunting It

People are allowed to live their lives however they want. If O’Brien had just decided that he was going to hide the elementary facts of his life from everyone, and if the person he was, it is claimed, in a relationship with had decided that he, too, was going to exercise that degree of concealment, who would care? It was once necessary; for many people, the concealment continued through habit. That is the right of individuals.
But through a familiar quirk of personality, Cardinal O’Brien was drawn to comment on an ineradicable part of his own personality. One can well guess what the process was. Someone hates and fears a forbidden aspect of themselves, and is drawn ineluctably to talk about it, rather than remain silent on the subject. Foucault wrote an interesting series of books about the history of sexuality, in which he proposed that the 19th century placed a prohibition on sexuality, not to silence discussion of it, but so that they could go on talking endlessly about it. Similarly, O’Brien clearly suppressed public knowledge of his own sexuality so that he could go on talking indefinitely about homosexuality. Going on about how awful those gays are – that, I am afraid, counts as “flaunting it”...

Philip Hensher in The Independent.

By far the best and most sensible piece I've see on the archbishop's outing.
I was tempted to post it in full, but I'm sure you can cope with clicking on that link. 
There's a lot to his argument that if someone grew up in a culture of the closet, it's quite a spectacular achievement if anyone manages to break free of that mindset.
Unlike many gay men commenting on this sorry, sad farce, be it in the media, and in the real and virtual worlds, Hensher's article doesn't have the snotty subtext; "Why can't every gay men be as wonderful and perfect as I think I am?"

Archbishop Welby: The Sin Of Pride

An archiepiscopal enthronement is a joyful thing. A leader is welcomed by a community who, for all their differences, recognise something greater than themselves and want to be good and love their neighbour. Why, why, why, does the unifying moment have to be sabotaged, as it was in a widely reported BBC interview, by cornering him into reaffirming the old tedious, hobgoblin issue of the Church’s opposition to same-sex marriage? Just when it seems that cautiously, painfully, religious liberalism is growing?
Christian churches are weirdly obsessed with below-the-belt intimacies. The Church of England still rejects “homosexual practice” as contrary to scripture, won’t ordain “active” homosexuals or bless gay partnerships. All Christian churches should try a moratorium, promising for five years to utter not a word about consensual, non-violent, monogamous genital goings-on. Just concentrate on cruelty, dishonesty, avarice, pride and injustice, and render unto Eros his due. Reiterate the stuff Jesus actually did say (he was remarkably quiet on the subject of sex, only taking the trouble to deplore the stoning of adulterers)...

When I first saw this headline I thought it was a wonderfully caustic comment on the pride and cruelty of the Church of England.
Bit disappointed it wasn't, but still a good comment piece in the ever-so pro gay marriage Times today by Libby Purves.

Archbishop Welby: Old News

The Archbishop of Canterbury voiced opposition to same-sex couples adopting children and insisted that the Bible is “clear” that gay couples should not have sex, previously unpublished writings show.

In one letter to his parish in 1999 he criticised the Church of England charity The Children’s Society’s decision to lift its ban on placing children for fostering or adoption with gay couples.
He spoke of the parish having to “review its decision to support them” in light of the change and urged the charity to rethink.
Since then the law has been changed making it illegal for charities to discriminate against gay couples, a move which effectively forced the closure of all Roman Catholic adoption agencies in England...

In the same article Rev Welby, as he then was, discussed the admission by Michael Portillo, the former Tory Cabinet minister, to having “homosexual experiences” as a student.
While emphasising that this did not matter for Mr Portillo’s political career, he went on to speak of sexuality as a “powerful force” leading people “astray” adding: “The standards of expected sexual morality are clear.
“Throughout the Bible it is clear that the right place for sex is only within a committed, heterosexual marriage.
“Interestingly, all recent research also shows that the children of such a relationship are likely (not always but often) to be happier and more stable.”
More controversially he also spoke about a belief that people can change their sexuality.
He criticised the media for “[talking] as though his sexuality is exactly the same now as then”...

The Daily Telegraph.

Hmm...
Despite the scary strapline the comments were made in a single article written more than a dozen years ago in a parish newsletter (so how can they be "unpublished"?)
They're taken from a new biography the Telegraph will be serialising. 
I really don't want to defend this man, he's clearly no friend to The Gays; an "evangelical traditionalist" who was silent over the recent great gay marriage debate (he supports civil partnerships) and homophobia in the African church, but this article perhaps is more about seemingly adding "moral support" to the Telegraph's own anti-gay views.

Marriage: C Of E In Sense Of Humour Shock!

Even the Mail saw the funny side - just about...

The Guardian: Letter Of The Week

Can I suggest that the Guardian stops putting the doings of the Church of England on its front page (Ruling that gay clergy can be bishops reignites church feud, 5 January)? Giving them the oxygen of publicity will only reinforce their idea that they remain relevant. Having insulted the entire female population over the issue of women bishops, they now do the same to the gay community by condescendingly agreeing to give them a measure of equality, but only as long as they don't actually engage in their disgusting version of the act of love. On both these issues, the church will bleat that, underneath its apparent misogyny, homophobia and general bigotry, real progress is being made towards enlightenment. Of course, this enlightenment is theirs not ours, as most of us moved way beyond them decades ago. So please, can you print their next cock-up (if you'll excuse the expression) on a much later page? Near the obituaries, perhaps?
Alan Clark
London

The Guardian.

The Guardian also published today a thoughtful and witty piece on this "ludicrous" hoohah by Giles Fraser, the former canon of St Paul's Cathedral of Occupy-supporting fame - Why Gay Bishops Have To Lie. 
Giles, along with the Rev Richard Coles and the late Oscar Romero are a good argument that maybe not all Christians are mad, and some are quite humane.
Further breaking with convention it's also illustrated online with the above photo featuring some of your actual gay men's faces.
Will wonders never cease?

The Independent: Spot The Difference

The Independent (and Independent On Sunday) continues its record-breakingly hopeless gay coverage - illustrated, but of course, with the same photo of a faceless gay couple.
Did Stockphoto offer them a two-for-one deal?
The "satirical" article about gay bishops is painfully unfunny.
I never cease to be astounded that a supposedly liberal and progressive national newspaper can get away with this half-arsed patronising crud.

PS By the powers of magick, the first illustration has now been changed. 

Priest In Paedo Scandal: Yes, Yet Another One

Let's just hope this doesn't lead to a witch hunt against elderly clergymen.