Ivan Massow: Just Say No!

I have struggled to satirise this piece by leading gay Tory thicko, Ivan Massow, in the Evening Standard - about how all us awful, and awfully common, gayers are fucking and drugging ourselves to death - but why bother when he does it so well himself?

"There are, of course, thousands of us living in leafy civil partnerships, contemplating children and playing vital or heroically suburban roles in society. For many, drugs and the “scene” in general play no role. But we’re not representative — and it’s a worry."

100% out-of-touch poshgay anti-gay right-wing andrewpiercemarksimpsonbollocks!
Why can't you gays just be more normal?
And as wonderful and perfect as I think I am?
Something of a landmark article.
Drugs - boo!
Clubs - boo!
The "scene" - boo!
Sex - boo!
Fun - boo!
Gay men - BOO!!!
Oh, drop dead, you stupid boring rich fuck.
We're plotting a new queer class war and it starts with you.
Oh, and happy pride to the rest of you!