EastEnders: Dotty

Dot decided that she wouldn't attend the wedding of her old friend Colin Russell, who returned to the show last night.

"I've been invited to a friend's wedding. I can't go. I want to go but it isn't right. They shouldn't be getting married," she said.

Sonia Fowler, who is a lesbian and unaware of what Dot meant, said that she really ought to be there for her friend's big day...

Daily Star.

Particularly hilarious as June Brown has gatecrashed every gay wedding in Britain ever, fag in hand (pun intended).

The Sun: When Celebs Attack!!!

It's all been kicking off in Sunland again!
'DALE 'gay hater' in rant at student'
"EMMERDALE'S Adam Thomas apologised yesterday for making a "queer" jibe at a gay student."
I have no idea who he is either, but judging from his photo "gay hater" Dale looks a bit "gay".
Anyway... "Thomas, 23, snapped after Ricky Platts, 22, approached him in a McDonald's.
Ricky - who is openly gay - went up to say hello after he spotted the actor having a meal there."
"But he says he was stunned when Thomas replied: "Yeah, what about it gay boy?"
Ricky claimed Thomas then started "hopping up and down like a madman" and calling him and a pal - who was in drag - "queers".
Ricky was so shit scared he took out his mobile phone and filmed all this, his misery having been compounded by the fact that Adam Thomas plays a friend of that gay in Emmerdale!
Anyway, Adam Thomas has said he's sorry, so I hope we'll hear no more of this.
'Fan sobs at Boy George's foul rant'
"FOUL-MOUTHED Boy George left a woman in tears after tipping a drink over her because she was chatting during his act at a charity gig."
Luckily someone filmed that on their mobile, too - don't you just love the modern world?
There's a link to a shaky video of it on The Sun's site - and I have to say I can't say I blame George.
And finally... Jim Davidson is interviewed about his next panto.
Although thankfully this reactionary shitbag's celebrity ranking is so low they only put it in The Scottish Sun.
'COMIC Jim Davidson has been branded a right-wing, homophobic racist - surely he can't be that bigoted?''
All together now: Oh yes he is!
Poor Jim hasn't been on the tellybox since 2007 when he called Brian Dowling a "shirtlifter" on Hell's Kitchen.
The case for the defence, Jim? "And anyway, I've been out for dinner with Brian Dowling since that incident.
"Would I have done that if I REALLY was homophobic?"
He's also put famousgaycouple "Colin and Justin" in his new panto.
So there'll obviously be no jokes about them being poofs, there then.
I - literally - cannot fucking wait.