Danny Miller: Emmerdale Farce

"I won't miss kissing blokes. I haven't got a problem with it but I don't think I'll be reminiscing!"

Danny Miller of Emmerdale's "tortured gay teen" fame.
Mind you, this was in The Sun so he probably didn't say it. 
As you were.

Emmerdale: Lesbians

"EMMERDALE bosses are adding to their only gay character - by bringing in a lesbian couple.
"Shameless star Kelli Hollis and Bad Girls actress Alicya Eyo will play on-screen lovers.
"The ITV soap currently has just one gay character, Aaron Livesy, while Coronation Street has five."

The Daily Mirror.
I've just been talking to Brian Sewell - he is frankly appalled by this cultural vulgarity.
Lesbians?
On the long-running much-loved rustic soap opera Emmerdale?!
Hebden Bridge more like!
Won't someone please think of the children???

Emmerdale: TV Watershed Gay Outrage!!!

The print had barely dried on The Bailey Report into "the sexualisation of childhood" than an excited Daily Mail found some disgusting pre-watershed gayness it could pretend to be outraged about.
Slightly unfortunately for the Mail, this was about gay death not sex.
'TV soap Emmerdale accused of 'losing the plot' as it shows paralysed gay man's assisted suicide before watershed'
"Emmerdale was under fire today after showing a tetraplegic character take his own life in an assisted suicide before the watershed.
"An estimated 7.2million viewers watched as gay character Jackson Walsh consumes a cocktail of drugs he had been given by his gay lover.
"TV regulator Ofcom confirmed they were investigating after a number of viewers said they were offended by the storyline..."
Won't somebody please think of the children!?

The Sun: When Celebs Attack!!!

It's all been kicking off in Sunland again!
'DALE 'gay hater' in rant at student'
"EMMERDALE'S Adam Thomas apologised yesterday for making a "queer" jibe at a gay student."
I have no idea who he is either, but judging from his photo "gay hater" Dale looks a bit "gay".
Anyway... "Thomas, 23, snapped after Ricky Platts, 22, approached him in a McDonald's.
Ricky - who is openly gay - went up to say hello after he spotted the actor having a meal there."
"But he says he was stunned when Thomas replied: "Yeah, what about it gay boy?"
Ricky claimed Thomas then started "hopping up and down like a madman" and calling him and a pal - who was in drag - "queers".
Ricky was so shit scared he took out his mobile phone and filmed all this, his misery having been compounded by the fact that Adam Thomas plays a friend of that gay in Emmerdale!
Anyway, Adam Thomas has said he's sorry, so I hope we'll hear no more of this.
'Fan sobs at Boy George's foul rant'
"FOUL-MOUTHED Boy George left a woman in tears after tipping a drink over her because she was chatting during his act at a charity gig."
Luckily someone filmed that on their mobile, too - don't you just love the modern world?
There's a link to a shaky video of it on The Sun's site - and I have to say I can't say I blame George.
And finally... Jim Davidson is interviewed about his next panto.
Although thankfully this reactionary shitbag's celebrity ranking is so low they only put it in The Scottish Sun.
'COMIC Jim Davidson has been branded a right-wing, homophobic racist - surely he can't be that bigoted?''
All together now: Oh yes he is!
Poor Jim hasn't been on the tellybox since 2007 when he called Brian Dowling a "shirtlifter" on Hell's Kitchen.
The case for the defence, Jim? "And anyway, I've been out for dinner with Brian Dowling since that incident.
"Would I have done that if I REALLY was homophobic?"
He's also put famousgaycouple "Colin and Justin" in his new panto.
So there'll obviously be no jokes about them being poofs, there then.
I - literally - cannot fucking wait.