Politics: That Cabinet Reshuffle Not In Full

Greg Barker OUT: Leaves his position as Minister for Lightbulbs and will be leaving parliament at the next election, but please don't read anything into that. May be spending time with his ex-wife who he left cause he's a big gayer.

Nick Boles IN: Dashing and openly gay - and a former flatmate of Michael Gove - today he was suddenly given the in-no-way made-up brief of 'overseeing equal marriage implementation'. As the Equalities Minister is opposed to equal marriage. Oops.

Ken Clarke OUT: It's goodbye to the fun-loving Minister for Jazz, who had to go so he can't resign over Europe later. 'Pub?' he said on leaving Downing Street.

Stephen Crabb IN: Minister for Wales? Minister for Woof more like! Who cares if this hot bearded bear believes in anti-gay conversion therapy?

Alan Duncan OUT: The Tories' first out gay MP. The lovable diddyman leaves his position as Minister of State for International Development to go and make some more millions from dodgy oil deals during the current tumult in the Middle East.

Liam Fox OUT: Declined an offer to return as Defence Secretary as Mr Cameron said he couldn't keep going on trips with his BFF and former flatmate, Adam Werritty.

Michael Gove OUT: Adored by teachers throughout Albion, Mr Gove has left the Ministry for Education. Number 10 insists he has not been demoted, and said making tea for cabinet meetings was jolly important.

William Hague OUT: In one of today's biggest shocks, the Minister for War Crimes Foreign Secretary quit so he could spend more time with his family and young friend, Chris Myers.

Lord Haw-Haw OUT: The 112 year-old far right Minister for Anglo-German Friendship gets the boot - a sure sign Mr Cameron wants to modernise his party's image.

Nicky Morgan IN: An obvious choice for Minister for Women and Equalities due to her valiant opposition to equal marriage. And as she was privately educated, she was a shoo-in for Education Minister.

Sir Cyril Smith IN: Nick Clegg lobbied hard for the return to frontline politics of the king-sized Liberal legend. Smith will be Under Secretary for Pederasty and Death Threats.

Jennifer Token-Nice-Young-Lady IN: Position yet to be confirmed.

Steve Bell in Wednesday's Guardian.

Sebastian Coe: Wrestling With William Hague

After he lost his seat in 1997, he was scooped up by the new Tory leader, William Hague, still a great personal friend. While George Osborne and The Times’ Daniel Finkelstein provided political strategy, Coe’s job was to ensure both the party (with its devastated finances and denuded staff) and Hague himself shaped up. He had him eat pasta salad and take up judo. The rumours of semi-naked wrestling in the gym under Jeffrey Archer’s apartment building played into speculation that Hague was gay. “It was absolutely risible, but that’s life,” says Coe.
“Someone had to work the night shift,” Hague said of his inglorious leadership. But Coe’s position as faithful lieutenant led to Hague nominating him for a peerage, which undoubtedly added to his gravitas as head of the Olympic bid... 

The Times. 
Probably best if I say nothing.
But doesn't the younger Seb Coe look like William's other "friend" Christopher Myers?

Gay Marriage: William Hague Comes Out

Daily Telegraph.

How very interesting.
Probably best if I keep schtum on this one.
But good to see William Hague, Liam Fox, Michael Gove and George Osborne all coming out.
For gay marriage, I mean.
Though if Tory cabinet ministers could actually say they were gay that might signal a real "generational change".

PS Actually I'm not sure if Liam Fox has come out - for gay marriage. Shall we ask Adam?

Liam Fox & Adam Werritty: Tomorrow's News Today!

The second most read story on Pink News this Friday evening has been this one about Liam Fox.
It was written by publisher Benjamin Cohen and dates from 2005!
Pink News has not written about the current scandale.
Well, why would they?
No-one would have sent them a press release about it, and it won't come up if you type "gay" into Google News.
How interesting - and how very sad - that many of Pink News readers know what the biggest "gay story" of the day is, but the people writing PN don't have a fucking clue.
Fagburn has no idea if they are actually fucking, but the - often homophobic - chatter on, say Guido Fawkes, makes it a story.
Didn't this happen last year with the William Hague-Christopher Myers story?
Not a word on Pink News all week while it was the talk of Westminster.
Then a piece suddenly appeared over the weekend attributed to "Staff Writer" (Ben Cohen, presumably).
Why don't you hire a journalist, Ben?
Someone who knows what's going on.
And who isn't so clueless they can't see a gay subtext to a story?
You shouldn't have to do Jessica Geen's job for her.
It's an insult to your (far better-informed) readers.

Liam Fox: And His Best Man

"And former flatmate..."
Liam Fox and Adam Werritty look like being this year's William Hague and Chris Myers.
Anyone else remember when Liam Fox was "romantically linked" with Natalie Imbruglia?
I wonder what Dr Fox thinks about gay marriage?
Oh what a tangled web these Tories weave.

Wikileaks 2: Alan Duncan & William Hague - Oops!

"The leaked US diplomatic cables reveal a particular intelligence interest in Alan Duncan, at the time shadow minister for prisons. Duncan, a former oil trader who is now international development minister, is gay. He once shared a London flat with William Hague, who has felt obliged to deny public speculation about his own sexuality.
"A 22 January 2010 cable was signed off by Elizabeth Pitterle, head of intelligence operations. She thanked the London embassy for its intelligence on Duncan's "friendship with ... William Hague", saying it was "particularly insightful and exceptionally well timed, as analysts are preparing finished products on the Conservative leadership for senior policymakers".
"The cable called for further intelligence on "Duncan's relationship with Conservative party leader David Cameron and William Hague", and asked:"What role would Duncan play if the Conservatives form a government? What are Duncan's political ambitions?"
Oops!

From The Guardian's The US Embassy Cables
I've posted the cable in full in the comments section below - intriguingly it's dated January 2010.
Amusingly as Foreign Secretary, Mr Hague has to try and clean up after the wonderful shitstorm unleashed by the latest Wikileaks leaks.
Mr Duncan has been demoted to Minister for Paperclips after a few gaffes unbecoming a multi-millionaire - though did step back into the limelight to defend his friend hague over those terrible gay rumours about him and Chris Myers.
There is a retrospectively interesting - and amusing - profile of Duncan from The Independent in 1997 when he was gaff-prone press agent to Hague here. "One member of the Shadow Cabinet described Duncan's latest political standing in lavatorial language: "Margaret Thatcher said `every Tory leader should have a Willie'; our leader has a prick."
"...He was President of the Oxford Union in the Thatcherites' annus mirabilis of 1979, and he got to know William Hague on return visits to Oxford. The two hit it off instantly, and Hague became a kind of camp-follower. He shared a flat in Battersea with Duncan, and, like his mentor, became a graduate trainee at Shell Oil. Their paths diverged, but they remained close. When Duncan bought a house close to Parliament in Gayfere Street, Hague moved in. His monthly rent was a case of champagne..."
A kind of camp-follower, eh...

Update: In a blog for The Daily Telegraph, Cristina Odone argues the American intelligence services are mainly interested in Alan Duncan just because he's gay, "a Cold War relic [they] seem incapable of ditching."

William Hague: Guido Fawkes Plot Thickens

'"The rise of the internet has posed a new challenge to politicians," thundered Andrew Pierce in the Daily Mail after William Hague was forced to deny innuendo about his sharing a hootel room with a 25 year-old male aide."
"It is unregulated and bloggers know they are safe from injunction or libel writ. Many hide behind anonymity including Guido Fawkes - who has fuelled the latest smears and who does not even have the courage to write under his own name, Paul Staines."
Quite rich, given that the Mail's newsdesk had been in constant telephone contact with Staines thrpughout the week, following up every item he published on the topic - one story, on 25 August, appearing under the brave byline of "Daily Mail reporter".
Staines himself got the room-share story from a journalist on a national paper who had witnessed the breakfast behaviour of the pair at a Birmingham hotel during the election campaign, and tried (and failed) to get a story about it into their own pages. Needless to say, the paper in question enthusiastically followed up the "internet rumours" after Staines published them.'

Private Eye, No. 1271, 17-30 September 2010.

Very interesting, though for the record Fagburn believes The Daily Mail was the first to publish the whispers about William Hague and Chris Myers.

William Hague & Chris Myers: At last - a photo of the beds!!!

"This is the “twin-bedded” room in a trendy boutique hotel where William Hague spent the night with his young adviser.
The Foreign Secretary issued an ­extraordinary personal statement last week about the nature of his relationship with 25-year-old Chris Myers.
Mr Hague, 49, dismissed “utterly false” rumours about his friendship with Mr Myers who worked as his special ­adviser at the Foreign Office. But he did admit they “occasionally shared twin hotel rooms” to save money.
We can now reveal the room which the pair shared on April 29, after ­watching David Cameron speak at the historic TV debate between the party leaders in Birmingham.
Mr Hague and his handsome adviser, who used to be his driver, spent the night in the Moet & Chandon room at the city’s Hotel Du Vin.
As our exclusive picture shows, the twin beds and mattresses are usually pushed together and presented as a double room for couples and sold for between £105 and £160 a night.
They can however be separated to make two beds, and the double duvet and sheet replaced with single ones. Although one visitor to the room said: “There’d still be barely a few inches between them.
...Now, Tories will have new doubts about Mr Hague’s wisdom in sharing a room in a hotel favoured by couples for ­romantic getaways. One senior MP said: “This hotel looks like somewhere you would take your girlfriend, not share with one of the junior staff. I’m sure it was perfectly innocent, but I fear it will raise questions about the Foreign ­Secretary’s ­judgement.”

From The Daily Mirror