Peter Mandelson: Still Creepy After All These Years

'First of all, I'd like to pay tribute to Ed Miliband, useless sack of socialist shite he may have been. You know something Andrew, we could have won this election if only everyone had listened to me. Remember New Labour, they were great, and that was me. I blame the trade unions for picking Ed over his more Blairite and, let's be honest, much better looking brother, David. As for his successor, we don't want a beauty contest, but that young Chuka Umunna chap you had on the show today, when I was watching him I almost lost my deposit!'

Thank you Lord Peter of Mandy, anything else?

'Aspiration, aspiration, aspiration!'

The look of love...