General Election 2015: Carry On Campaigning

While we’re on the subject of locker-room horseplay, though, could there please – in the name of all that is decent – be a moratorium on politicians making jokes about sexy time? In Hendon, Cameron was reiterating that to vote for Ukip is to “go to bed with Nigel Farage and wake up with Ed Miliband. I don’t know about you,” he twinkled suggestively to the audience, “but no part of that works for me”. Last week it was Ed Miliband referring to the idea of having to go into a “darkened room” with Nick Clegg, telling the Question Time audience: “I don’t like the sound of that,” he oo-erred, “for a whole range of reasons”.

Guys, guys … Please. We get it. YOU’RE ALL STRAIGHT. You’re not mining some comic seam here – you’re doing the equivalent of going into the gents’ and writing “NIJEL FARRARGE DONE IT WITH NICK CLEG!!!!!” on the wall...

Marina Hyde, The Guardian's election diary.