Sunday Night At The London Palladium: Bona Hoofer

"Vada the bona lallies on the feelie," was, apart from a few "good mornings", my only welcome as I entered my new dressing room backstage at the London Palladium.

I would later learn that the greeting was in a theatrical patois called Polari and translates as: "Look at the kid with the lovely legs."

It was my first day at the world's most famous variety house.

I had never heard of Polari and I must confess not to a flush of fear but more a cynical sneer as I crossed the boundary between classical ballet and the commercial theatre.

The gobbledegook greeting confirmed my worst fears...

Live television changed my life. Being on stage in the first place is both scary and rewarding but knowing you have to be perfect, often with minimum rehearsal, for 20 million pairs of eyes, strips you to the core.

There is no second chance, you either hit it 100 per cent immediately or you are dead.

When your too-tight pants split, which they do often, or your partner hits the floor, there is nothing you can do but keep on smiling and bashing it out...

A sweet piece in The Sunday Express where Jeffrey Taylor remembers being a dancer on Sunday Night At The London Palladium in the 60s. 

Jeffrey is now a regular theatre reviewer for the Express.