Hi Bobby! You've just been voted the sexiest dead man in the Fagburn Hot 100!
'Aww, great.'
Can we not see your face?
'No. I am contemplating the complete misery of human existence.'
We're looking for a cover shoot.
'$120million or we're not talking.'
Swimwear?
'Done that. There's film of me butt naked in the shower, if you guys are into that, fine.'
So Bobby, do you love your gay fans?
'That question defies logic.'
Okay... And if a young chess player saw you as a role model, what would you say?
'Get a fucking real job. This is all kinds of shit you don't need.'
Sexy chess man, Bobby Fischer thank you!
'In future, just leave me alone. Okay?'
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