Thursday 30 July 2015

Morrissey: 'He Crouched Before Me And Groped My Penis And Testicles'

On leaving the US on 27 July I flew from San Francisco International Airport to London on flight BA 284.

At 2:30 in the afternoon I went through the usual airport security procedure including the stand-up 'scanner', and all was well - no bleeps and nothing unusual.

Before I could gather my belongings from the usual array of trays I was approached by an "airport security officer" who stopped me, crouched before me and groped my penis and testicles. He quickly moved away as an older "airport security officer" approached.

The officer who sexually assaulted me was identified as the General Manager On Duty. Luckily I was accompanied by two members of British Airways Special Services, who were horrified at the sexual attack and suggested that I lodge a complaint. I asked if there would be any point in lodging a complaint since, as with any complaint against a figure in "authority", the complaints are simply collected in order to protect the guilty officer should the matter go further. The British Airways Special Services employees assured me that a complaint was worthwhile, and so I filed the appropriate information. However, before doing so, the guilty "officer" was confronted, and the conversation went thus:

You have just sexually groped this man.
Officer: That's just your opinion.
What you have done is illegal.
Officer: That's just your opinion.
You have no right to do what you have just done.
Officer: That's just your opinion.

Apart from "that's just your opinion", he would not comment, even though, since the penis and  testicles were mine and no one else's, then my opinion must surely have some meaning... [SNIP!!]



Nuts!

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